Anonymous wrote:
Except that it's illegal for a school employee to ask a parent to pick up their child unless 1) The child is sick, 2) School is closing (e.g. snow day) or 3) The child is formally suspended.

You're right but tell that to our public school. They do this a lot.

I think it's unfair to say, "I'll call you at the end of the day." She's not going to wait around for you to call. My guess is that she was more put off by you dismissing the situation than asking to call later. Both are lousy.

Op doesn't know or care if there are behavior problems. Her kid told her he was annoyed by adults and wanted alone time and that explanation totally sufficed for her. It conveniently allowed her to not feel bad about not being attentive to the issue and let her continue to think the counselor was inept. Counsellors can't tell you to come get your kid. If they call, it's because something is going on that they can't handle and they need parental intervention. Op could have offered to speak to her son. Or something. But, meetings.

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don't get what the counselor was trying to accomplish with this call if it wasn't to come and pick up the child. Does she want to hand the child a phone so you talk to them? No? then what possible good would this accomplish?

I would tell her to leave him/her alone, she or he won't stay under the table for a whole day, they'll come out eventually. When I come home, I'll talk to the child, and revert to her. This is all very silly.

Actually I got a call about the opposite problem. DS was standing ON the table and wouldn't get down. If anyone tried to take him down he started swinging. (Yes, there were some issues.)

Anyway, they gave ds the phone (cordless) and I talked to him. Clearly and concisely. Get off the table NOW, apologize to the adults and behave for the rest of the day. If I had to leave work to get him because of his behavior, he would not be a happy little boy. He got down and apologized, and behaved for the rest of the day. He knew from then on out that he was expected to listen.

It seems to me there's some information missing in OP's post. Are there behavior problems? What exactly did the guidance counselor expect from you? Is there a plan in place to manage his issues.. if he has them?

I don't expect to hear from the school unless it's an emergency, or he's sick and needs to be picked up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your kid has an IEP with a proven emotional need for quiet space, it's not going to be tolerated that he just gets up under tables because adults are "annoying" him.

A lot of kids who are 6 need quiet space and it's not just the ones with IEPs. In our classroom's quiet corner a lot of kids who do not have IEPs use it.
Refusing to do an activity is not the same as disrupting the class unless he's doing something else like screaming. If he's quietly under a table the children should be able to ignore and go about their own work. The only time it becomes a classroom disruption is when an inexperienced teacher panics and calls in the guidance counselor.
This happened once in my child's class one year while I was volunteering. Teacher let the kid go under the table. Teacher ignored her, told kids who were giggling to ignore her. The child was there for 5 minutes and came right back out. I couldn't tell if she was doing it for attention or because she was upset or being silly. I know the parents and am pretty sure the child does not have an IEP.

You think the teacher didn't try that? I volunteer all the time and have seen some atrocious behavior the teachers handle. The fact the counselor was not only involved but had to call the mom says a lot about what was or has been going on.

Then the answer should have been "yes, please come pick up your son". Otherwise the conversation could have waited.

Except that it's illegal for a school employee to ask a parent to pick up their child unless 1) The child is sick, 2) School is closing (e.g. snow day) or 3) The child is formally suspended.

Everything the OP said indicates it was NOT a big deal incident. If a counselor has 10 minutes to babble on before getting to the point it is not an emergency and couldn't possibly be very disruptive or else she would still be dealing with the kid.

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. If they can't draw a child out from under a table they shouldn't be in the education field.

My DD is 13 now but I reply when I can. They can hold her in the office, like they did a month or two ago when she got a migraine.

If you have a child who refuses to listen to the teacher you should rethink your (lack of) parenting and discipline.

Anonymous wrote:It's okay, OP. They've now determined you're a disinterested, disengaged parent and they will lower their expectations for your son and no longer bother you with boring calls about how he's disrupting his entire class and missing out on instruction by hiding under a table. When he isn't meeting benchmarks or can't pass his SOLs and you call to discuss, they may tell you they're in a meeting and will give you a call later.

I would say this is true if the OP cut off the counselor right away. But she says she did talk to her for 10 minutes. That's a LOOOOOONG time for a school phone call. Even when I had a pretty serious issue going on with one of my kids, I can't remember being on the phone for 10 minutes. The longer discussions are far more appropriate in person and at a scheduled time.
So, assuming OP isn't totally exaggerating, I don't think it's fair to peg her as disinterested and disengaged. At some point, it moves from being a time-critical/data gathering call to a longer behavioral/longterm issue type call. The latter kind can wait until the end of the meeting.

It's okay, OP. They've now determined you're a disinterested, disengaged parent and they will lower their expectations for your son and no longer bother you with boring calls about how he's disrupting his entire class and missing out on instruction by hiding under a table. When he isn't meeting benchmarks or can't pass his SOLs and you call to discuss, they may tell you they're in a meeting and will give you a call later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your kid has an IEP with a proven emotional need for quiet space, it's not going to be tolerated that he just gets up under tables because adults are "annoying" him.

A lot of kids who are 6 need quiet space and it's not just the ones with IEPs. In our classroom's quiet corner a lot of kids who do not have IEPs use it.
Refusing to do an activity is not the same as disrupting the class unless he's doing something else like screaming. If he's quietly under a table the children should be able to ignore and go about their own work. The only time it becomes a classroom disruption is when an inexperienced teacher panics and calls in the guidance counselor.
This happened once in my child's class one year while I was volunteering. Teacher let the kid go under the table. Teacher ignored her, told kids who were giggling to ignore her. The child was there for 5 minutes and came right back out. I couldn't tell if she was doing it for attention or because she was upset or being silly. I know the parents and am pretty sure the child does not have an IEP.

You think the teacher didn't try that? I volunteer all the time and have seen some atrocious behavior the treachers handle. The fact the counselor was not only involved but had to call the mom says a lot about what was or has been going on.

Then the answer should have been "yes, please come pick up your son". Otherwise the conversation could have waited.

That does NOT help the problem. It just teaches the child that if he misbehaves, he gets to go home with Mom. How naive are you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your kid has an IEP with a proven emotional need for quiet space, it's not going to be tolerated that he just gets up under tables because adults are "annoying" him.

A lot of kids who are 6 need quiet space and it's not just the ones with IEPs. In our classroom's quiet corner a lot of kids who do not have IEPs use it.
Refusing to do an activity is not the same as disrupting the class unless he's doing something else like screaming. If he's quietly under a table the children should be able to ignore and go about their own work. The only time it becomes a classroom disruption is when an inexperienced teacher panics and calls in the guidance counselor.
This happened once in my child's class one year while I was volunteering. Teacher let the kid go under the table. Teacher ignored her, told kids who were giggling to ignore her. The child was there for 5 minutes and came right back out. I couldn't tell if she was doing it for attention or because she was upset or being silly. I know the parents and am pretty sure the child does not have an IEP.

You think the teacher didn't try that? I volunteer all the time and have seen some atrocious behavior the treachers handle. The fact the counselor was not only involved but had to call the mom says a lot about what was or has been going on.

Then the answer should have been "yes, please come pick up your son". Otherwise the conversation could have waited.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless your kid has an IEP with a proven emotional need for quiet space, it's not going to be tolerated that he just gets up under tables because adults are "annoying" him.

A lot of kids who are 6 need quiet space and it's not just the ones with IEPs. In our classroom's quiet corner a lot of kids who do not have IEPs use it.
Refusing to do an activity is not the same as disrupting the class unless he's doing something else like screaming. If he's quietly under a table the children should be able to ignore and go about their own work. The only time it becomes a classroom disruption is when an inexperienced teacher panics and calls in the guidance counselor.
This happened once in my child's class one year while I was volunteering. Teacher let the kid go under the table. Teacher ignored her, told kids who were giggling to ignore her. The child was there for 5 minutes and came right back out. I couldn't tell if she was doing it for attention or because she was upset or being silly. I know the parents and am pretty sure the child does not have an IEP.

You think the teacher didn't try that? I volunteer all the time and have seen some atrocious behavior the treachers handle. The fact the counselor was not only involved but had to call the mom says a lot about what was or has been going on.

OP that sucks. Our school has 2 counselors. One is seasoned, professional and has kids of her own. If she called I would know it is a BIG deal. The other one is rather green and full of herself and her first few years a bunch of us got calls about trivial things (Johnny and Larlo were yelling at eachother in the cafeteria so we asked them to sit at different tables." Oh, OK, did the issue stop? "yes." So why was this call worthy, rather than just sending an email. I would have talked to Larlo and reminded him of what is expected in the cafeteria.