I just want to echo the pp who wrote that three is a difficult age, especially for boys, and age four was something of a continuation for my ADHD/ODD boy. Their day care teacher expressed concerns at this age about both my twins at different times, my special needs kid and his mostly neurotypical twin. We put our ADHD boy in a therapy playgroup at InStep in Fairfax when he was about 4.5, and I think it did help. Now, my twins did not experience motor delays, and that could be a source of frustration that could fuel aggressive behavior, too. In general, the best thing we found for aggression was lots of exercise, and I know with these winter months, you've probably been in the worst of it lately. It sounds as though you've gotten a lot of advice from experienced parents here, but I'm learning (slowly) that I need to be on top of new, unhealthy behaviors, but sometimes they're transient and sometimes it takes more time to see the big picture. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:If OP's child is continuing to have issues or has developed additional issues, one resource is to go back and ask for another eval. Switching schools willy-nilly without insights may waste precious time.

I would do private and county screenings.

on the flip side, given the 6-month waiting lists for screenings and less-than-cooperative school officials in this region might mean that NOT switching schools wastes precious time ... I don't have all the answers, but I do think that the school environment is one place to look.

If OP's child is continuing to have issues or has developed additional issues, one resource is to go back and ask for another eval. Switching schools willy-nilly without insights may waste precious time.

I would do private and county screenings.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks to all who have replied! He's not already enrolled in the programs many of you have mentioned because these are new issues, or at least the aggression is. He "graduated" from physical therapy with infants and toddlers more than a year ago, and he made a great deal of progress during that time - so much that we didn't realize until recently that he is still having some physical challenges that we're now in the process of addressing.

I don't want to say I'm happy to know others have dealt with/are dealing with the same issues, but it is nice to know we're not the only ones.

OP, early intervention can be very helpful but often not enough. "Graduating" really means the kid has aged out or isn't delayed enough to qualify for services.

We did PT through Infant & Toddlers too. We supplemented with private OT. We saw a developmental pediatrician at age 4 and got a diagnosis of DCD: https://canchild.ca/en/diagnoses/developmental-coordination-disorder

Not saying this is your kid, but it really helped clarify the challenges. Good luck.

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Anonymous wrote:Why isn't he in PEP if you are in MoCo? Maddux will not take kids who act out aggressively. I'm not saying that to be mean at all. I feel like this child is in a school setting that may be triggering the behaviors in some way. Maybe he has anxiety or something else. But the stress at school could absolutely contribute to his acting out at home with his sister.

+1. PEP is your best bet for now while waiting to see the developmental ped and attending PEP will start the process for a 504/IEP so that your child can succeed in K.

A PP here - But how can you be sure a kid whose only issue is aggression (say 2x/week) will qualify for an IEP or PEP? (I'm not familiar with the entry standards.)

That is why everyone suggested a full developmental evaluation including receptive/expressive speech. OP already stated that her child has gross and fine motor issues and coupled with the behavioral issues (and maybe speech issues) should get them into PEP. It is obvious that the current preschool is unable to help her DS.

No, she is saying her child's language skills are good. I would try switching the school first.

It's worth getting evaluated and a speech evaluation is part of any full eval at this age: Just bc a child expressive language is good does not mean they understand everything that is said.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks to all who have replied! He's not already enrolled in the programs many of you have mentioned because these are new issues, or at least the aggression is. He "graduated" from physical therapy with infants and toddlers more than a year ago, and he made a great deal of progress during that time - so much that we didn't realize until recently that he is still having some physical challenges that we're now in the process of addressing.

I don't want to say I'm happy to know others have dealt with/are dealing with the same issues, but it is nice to know we're not the only ones.

OP, I would try him at a new school and see what happens before taking some of the recommendations here. First rule out it is something at the school. It may not be the right fit and he cannot tell you so he is acting out instead.

Put him in individual sports - karate, gymnastics and/or swim. Sometimes soccer is good but it depends on the child. Those will also help with the gross motor skills and make it fun doing.

3 is a difficult age so I'd be careful about labeling it and just focus on getting him the help he needs. But, I'd be concerned something is going on at school if he behaved at school and now is not.