Hmmm...should you r shouldn't you deliberately SPURN a child?

Yeah, tough one.

Anonymous wrote:I have a thought. She is 5.5. How about you be the grown-up and teach her how to be the bigger person and be inclusive. Is exclusion and pettiness the kind of example you want to set?

This is a very very fine line. We may be teaching out daughters to be the bigger person but also telling them that mean behavior towards them is ok. I have experienced this the hard way. I kept telling DD to be the bigger person and nicer person and she ended up being bullied by the so called best friend. OP if you do decide to invite the girl make sure your DD understands that on future if she leaves her out, says mean things to her like you aren't invited etc, it's not okay. Not okay at all.

I have a thought. She is 5.5. How about you be the grown-up and teach her how to be the bigger person and be inclusive. Is exclusion and pettiness the kind of example you want to set?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but why isn't it appropriate for a mean girl to learn the consequences of her own meanness? Birthday parties aren't the be all and end all.

first, because we don't know the lack of invite was the girls fault, second, you are so eager to teach the other kid consequences that you are failing to teach yours about kindness and inclusivity.

I don't know the particulars of this situation, obviously. But if there's a mean girl who has bullied my daughter I do NOT think she needs to be "inclusive' and "kind" to her. That's valuing someone else's feelings above my own child's. There are many other avenues for teaching inclusion.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but why isn't it appropriate for a mean girl to learn the consequences of her own meanness? Birthday parties aren't the be all and end all.

first, because we don't know the lack of invite was the girls fault, second, you are so eager to teach the other kid consequences that you are failing to teach yours about kindness and inclusivity.

OP, I for one, am with you. Teach your DD about self-respect and dignity. I wouldn't invite that girl and if her parents throw a fit, you can tell them why.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry but why isn't it appropriate for a mean girl to learn the consequences of her own meanness? Birthday parties aren't the be all and end all.

She's learning that if she is mean other people will be mean, true. She's also learning that it is acceptable behavior. If want our children to be kind, we have to teach them to be kind.