Anonymous wrote:This is a horrible story and it's gross. It still gives me shudders.

Play date kid went to the bathroom by himself. Since he was recently potty trained, I nervously asked my new mom friend if she wanted to go with him. She was really into the daiquiris I served and said he'd be fine. After they left, I found out the kids had peed all over my bathroom, everywhere but the toilet and pooped in the sink. It's a pedestal sink, so I don't even know how he got up there. Upside is, mom came over to clean up the mess and we've become really good friends since.

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:New-mom friend(?) who I had just been introduced to at preschool, invited me to her house so our children could play. After I arrived the Mom left the house w/out any real explanation but as she was heading out the door said I should make myself feel at home and help myself to anything in the kitchen. Left me to socialize with the nanny (generally non-English speaking) who wasn't any help for an explanation.

LOL I wonder if this was me? Occasionally some SAHMs from my preschool ask to do playdates with my child. I always explain I work full-time (most days at home but sometimes in office), but they never seem to understand that means I'll be upstairs in my office working or will have to go into my office for meetings during the day. Like, NEVER. This has happened 3-4 times to me over the years. I don't want to make anyone sad, but I can't hang out and drink wine "on the clock" at work (no matter how desperately I'd like to!). I work after the kids are asleep most nights and I can't take down time during the day without it cutting into family time later!

What? Did you not explain to the moms that you won't be there, but the nanny would? I also WAH, and when I make playdates with SAHM-- especially for preschoolers--I make sure to plan it on a day that I won't be working or on a weekend. I assumed that all working moms did this? I think it is really awkward to schedule a playdate between your nanny and another mom. At age 3, the playdates are not just about the kids getting along, but connecting with other parents.

Yes. As per bolded I always explain if it's during the workday I can't be around. They have insisted that's no big deal, a couple have even bonded with our nanny (who's young and awesome and fun to be around) but a couple have only requested to come over during the week once and then switched to weekends/evenings. My take was that they didn't think I was serious that I have to work during the day.

I have three kids so you don't need to instruct me on what playdates are about A good playdate is of course as much about the caregivers/parents getting along as the kids (and the best have booze, but hey...) -- no reason caregivers and parents can't become friends unless you're classist.

No, that is not an explanation. That is a statement about the total number of hours you work per week. I work full time, but that does not mean that I work from 8-5; I don't. Clearly you aren't explaining it as they "like, NEVER" understand. Why don't you just say, I will have to be upstairs working during that whole time. THAT would explain it. Instead you have repeatedly put people in awkward positions without ever acknowledging that your lack of communication could have caused the problem.

Not to pile on, but I'm mystified why, if you say "we would love to see Clara at 10 am to play with Stella, but just so you know I will be working in my office and our nanny Susan will be there to supervise the children and looks forward to getting to know you if you are going to stay while the girls stay."

Why is that not said, and how is that unclear

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Anonymous wrote:Invited nursery school friend over for a drop off playdate with son and nanny. Friend's father comes to pick him up and takes son home. I call for playdate the next week and father says yes. Mother calls back and says her child will never go to my house again because when father picked up his son, my nanny was asleep on the couch. Father gets on phone to explain and says the nanny was sleeping when he arrived to pick up his son so he took his son and left mine completely unattended without waking the nanny. They didn't have the decency to tell me that my nanny was asleep on the job and left my 3 year old completely unattended and then basically reamed me out two weeks later.

Why would you invite a child over for a drop off playdate when you weren't going to be the responsible adult?!

Anonymous wrote:Invited nursery school friend over for a drop off playdate with son and nanny. Friend's father comes to pick him up and takes son home. I call for playdate the next week and father says yes. Mother calls back and says her child will never go to my house again because when father picked up his son, my nanny was asleep on the couch. Father gets on phone to explain and says the nanny was sleeping when he arrived to pick up his son so he took his son and left mine completely unattended without waking the nanny. They didn't have the decency to tell me that my nanny was asleep on the job and left my 3 year old completely unattended and then basically reamed me out two weeks later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a horrible story and it's gross. It still gives me shudders.

Play date kid went to the bathroom by himself. Since he was recently potty trained, I nervously asked my new mom friend if she wanted to go with him. She was really into the daiquiris I served and said he'd be fine. After they left, I found out the kids had peed all over my bathroom, everywhere but the toilet and pooped in the sink. It's a pedestal sink, so I don't even know how he got up there. Upside is, mom came over to clean up the mess and we've become really good friends since.

She came back and cleaned up after they left? What did you do, call her and tell her about the mess? And a newly potty trained kid pooped in a pedestal sink? Creative and athletic, I guess.

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Anonymous wrote:DS 10 got invited for 3-day beach weekend. That week lice had run through classroom. Everyone did their best to eradicate lice, of course. I got a call from my ds on friday evening. He was sitting on the porch of his friend's house; they had left him behind b/c they found lice on him. They were long gone. OK - i went and picked him up. Did the whole lice treatment thing all over again. Saturday they rang "would DS like to join us now?" Uh Certainly -drove down I-95 met them half-way. The mom gave DS a lice check while i waited. Ok - great - clean bill of health. DS got in their car and they drove off. I drove back home. As soon as i walked in the door, phone rang - "your son has lice. you must come get him. We will not allow him into our beach house" He was in SOUTH CAROLINA.

It's been years but i feel my neck getting hot as I type this. I say "can you take him to a hair dresser who will do a lice treatment? NO - they would not let him into the house.

Misery. Sheer misery. I am so glad that lice-in-classroom phase is past.

I would never consider another playdate no less weekend after they left him behind.. I could see not having him come for the weekend..but parents should have called you and waited for a pickup.

Yeah, confused as to why you let him go with them the second time after they left him on the porch!

I dont get that either.

Anonymous wrote:**Let me preface this by saying I nursed both my boys until they were 1, and they didn't love covers and I did nurse in public but tries to walk a line between comfort and being disscreet.

I went to a new friends home for a play date with our 3 year olds and her 2 year old. I knew she was a little hippie crunchy and really liked her from our interactions at preschool.
She answered the door with a men's shirt on, unbuttoned to her navel, and as soon as I was in there she undid the whole thing so it was casually open in front, with full view of both large boobs, so her 2 year old could walk up whenever he wanted and have a drink.
So we sat at her kitchen table drinking coffee while she had both boobs out and would occasionally have to lean over when she felt her son tug and want a drink.
I fought a furious battle in my head trying to be open and nonjudgmental that I ultimately lost after futily trying to look anywhere, anywhere else but at her chest. It was like Jesus himself was beckoning me to look, I literally could not *not* see them, like they were following me or a weird Mona Lisa type thing.
I was so exhausted from the effort to not think it was weird and be normal that I had to take a Tylenol and go to bed.

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Anonymous wrote:Had just moved to DC area and had a young 2 year old. Met a group of very La Leche League a parents and we did a round robin of houses each week for playdate. There were not my type, but I was so desperate for company as my husband was working long hours at a new job and I knew NO ONE. On e week we get to one of the women's houses and she says, Oh I have to show you guys what my boyfriend (father of child) has been working on and hands my child and another 2 yr old a long hand-blown glass object. Aren't they awesome, she asks? Yes, but we are nervous as they are glass. What are they? Oh, he had a special order from some guys in DC for dildos. Aren't they awesome? Just the right weight, she said.

I just about DIED.

That is true story. Swear to God. Last playdate with that family.

I just laughed so hard at this that I got a "wtf" look from my puppy. I nursed mine until 2 1/2 and I can't imagine doing that, in front of a new friend at that. Thanks for the laugh, PP!

Anonymous wrote:Had just moved to DC area and had a young 2 year old. Met a group of very La Leche League a parents and we did a round robin of houses each week for playdate. There were not my type, but I was so desperate for company as my husband was working long hours at a new job and I knew NO ONE. On e week we get to one of the women's houses and she says, Oh I have to show you guys what my boyfriend (father of child) has been working on and hands my child and another 2 yr old a long hand-blown glass object. Aren't they awesome, she asks? Yes, but we are nervous as they are glass. What are they? Oh, he had a special order from some guys in DC for dildos. Aren't they awesome? Just the right weight, she said.

I just about DIED.

That is true story. Swear to God. Last playdate with that family.

Anonymous wrote:Had just moved to DC area and had a young 2 year old. Met a group of very La Leche League a parents and we did a round robin of houses each week for playdate. There were not my type, but I was so desperate for company as my husband was working long hours at a new job and I knew NO ONE. On e week we get to one of the women's houses and she says, Oh I have to show you guys what my boyfriend (father of child) has been working on and hands my child and another 2 yr old a long hand-blown glass object. Aren't they awesome, she asks? Yes, but we are nervous as they are glass. What are they? Oh, he had a special order from some guys in DC for dildos. Aren't they awesome? Just the right weight, she said.

I just about DIED.

That is true story. Swear to God. Last playdate with that family.

You guys have got me. I've explained it very clearly "I have to work until 5pm, but if you'd like to bring Larla over for a playdate with my DD and Nanny at 3pm, that works for them."

Sorry to disappoint everyone who desperately wants to think I was talking in code about this. 3-4 times over 3 kids and about 7 years combined of preschool isn't a lot, I guess, but it's funny when it happens. I suspect there was a similar misalignment of expectations with PP I was responding to, but I have no idea why it takes actual experiential learning for some moms to understand as opposed to a clear explanation.