Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I agree that I was overly picky or looking for the wrong things until I was at least 37. I just didn't want to settle and I'm glad I didn't. But my choices also mean I probably won't ever have my own kids. Weird thing is that I don't feel too sad about that? Maybe the PPs are right that subconsciously maybe I've just wanted to be alone until now. I spent so many years travelling the world and living a kind of selfish life and I don't regret any of that. Maybe if I'd found the one earlier I'd be regretting not seeing the world. But now I'm ready to meet someone and hope it's still possible. Maybe therapy would help?

You sound overly focused on yourself.

how is that overly focused on herself? she is living life on her terms. it is her life. she is not hurting anyone in the process.

Men don't like when women don't pay attention to them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I agree that I was overly picky or looking for the wrong things until I was at least 37. I just didn't want to settle and I'm glad I didn't. But my choices also mean I probably won't ever have my own kids. Weird thing is that I don't feel too sad about that? Maybe the PPs are right that subconsciously maybe I've just wanted to be alone until now. I spent so many years travelling the world and living a kind of selfish life and I don't regret any of that. Maybe if I'd found the one earlier I'd be regretting not seeing the world. But now I'm ready to meet someone and hope it's still possible. Maybe therapy would help?

You sound overly focused on yourself.

how is that overly focused on herself? she is living life on her terms. it is her life. she is not hurting anyone in the process.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That it is VERY difficult/daunting to meet quality men after college-especially when you are certain careers (teaching, etc.) And, that women nowadays have more options so there is not the stigma of "old maid." For example, I adopted an infant as a single woman in my mid 40's.

I disagree. I think marrying someone from college dating is a huge risk. You're children.

It is. But it's still true it is far easier to date a variety of people in college than it is post college when you are trying to settle into a career.

AGREE

Anonymous wrote:Op here- I agree that I was overly picky or looking for the wrong things until I was at least 37. I just didn't want to settle and I'm glad I didn't. But my choices also mean I probably won't ever have my own kids. Weird thing is that I don't feel too sad about that? Maybe the PPs are right that subconsciously maybe I've just wanted to be alone until now. I spent so many years travelling the world and living a kind of selfish life and I don't regret any of that. Maybe if I'd found the one earlier I'd be regretting not seeing the world. But now I'm ready to meet someone and hope it's still possible. Maybe therapy would help?

You sound overly focused on yourself.

Anonymous wrote:I think single and 40-- you probably have your shit together. The women I know like this have traveled, are educated, volunteer and generally have a full life. They own their own homes, have good jobs and have put away for retirement. When they decide they are ready to have a child or children, they are in a financial and emotional place to be able to do it as a single mom.

Yep, this is my aunt. She's 55, about to retire, has a great house, has her shit together, travels, etc. She was married when I was little, had her tubes tied in her 20s, divorced, and has had a few LTRs, but enjoys being independent. She has a lot of friends and hobbies and stays busy. Slightly jealous at times.

Op here- I agree that I was overly picky or looking for the wrong things until I was at least 37. I just didn't want to settle and I'm glad I didn't. But my choices also mean I probably won't ever have my own kids. Weird thing is that I don't feel too sad about that? Maybe the PPs are right that subconsciously maybe I've just wanted to be alone until now. I spent so many years travelling the world and living a kind of selfish life and I don't regret any of that. Maybe if I'd found the one earlier I'd be regretting not seeing the world. But now I'm ready to meet someone and hope it's still possible. Maybe therapy would help?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 36, divorced, and childless, and don't want kids. I have a great boyfriend who is 11 years my junior, and sexy as all hell. So, all the "desirable" men are not taken. I don't think anything is wrong with an older woman with no kids and not married. If she's confident, has her shit together work and finance-wise, who cares? A lot of these women are much more stable and happy than younger women, married with kids, whose lives are secretly falling apart behind closed doors.

photo = proof that this is a sexist troll thread!
Newsflash: men like cats too!
signed,
DH brought home cats for me and the kids

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the person who called troll- I'm the OP and asked this question because I'm 40, single, never married and don't have kids. I saw the 50 years old never married man thread and wondered what people thought of women like me. Not trying to start a fight!

Op = why are you single childless at 40?

Honestly? Bad decisions when it came to picking a partner. I also spent s lot of time travelling (over 50 countries) and living abroad. Didn't settle down and buy a house or live in one spot until I was 33. Then it seemed like everyone good was taken. Guys my age seem to want to date 24 year olds.

It sounds like you had a great life. You did a lot of stuff that I wish I could have done, but didn't because I got married and had kids. Everything is a trade-off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the person who called troll- I'm the OP and asked this question because I'm 40, single, never married and don't have kids. I saw the 50 years old never married man thread and wondered what people thought of women like me. Not trying to start a fight!

Op = why are you single childless at 40?

Honestly? Bad decisions when it came to picking a partner. I also spent s lot of time travelling (over 50 countries) and living abroad. Didn't settle down and buy a house or live in one spot until I was 33. Then it seemed like everyone good was taken. Guys my age seem to want to date 24 year olds.

Maybe a case of being too picky?

33 isn't that old.

Anyway I hope you find someone since that is what you want.

Love can happen as long as you are alive, you just might need to restructure your vision of it. Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the person who called troll- I'm the OP and asked this question because I'm 40, single, never married and don't have kids. I saw the 50 years old never married man thread and wondered what people thought of women like me. Not trying to start a fight!

Op = why are you single childless at 40?

Honestly? Bad decisions when it came to picking a partner. I also spent s lot of time travelling (over 50 countries) and living abroad. Didn't settle down and buy a house or live in one spot until I was 33. Then it seemed like everyone good was taken. Guys my age seem to want to date 24 year olds.

I met my husband at 36, got married at 37. You were pushed to the back of the shelf at 33?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the person who called troll- I'm the OP and asked this question because I'm 40, single, never married and don't have kids. I saw the 50 years old never married man thread and wondered what people thought of women like me. Not trying to start a fight!

Op = why are you single childless at 40?

Honestly? Bad decisions when it came to picking a partner. I also spent s lot of time travelling (over 50 countries) and living abroad. Didn't settle down and buy a house or live in one spot until I was 33. Then it seemed like everyone good was taken. Guys my age seem to want to date 24 year olds.

I would have been miserable with my college boyfriend because we had very different ideas about our lives. I broke up with him at 19 (I was a junior) because I felt pressure from all corners to get engaged to him (he was 22 and had graduated) and get started on babies. I was 19! He has been content to stay near where he grew up -- which is not where I grew up or had any interest in living. He never wanted me to work -- I know now I never would have been happy as a SAHW/M, and back then it all just sounded like a suffocating prison sentence. And frankly I was really immature at the time.

Luckily I found someone who was a better fit for me and married him and things worked out but I am always amazed at people who know enough about themselves/are mature enough to marry their college sweethearts.

I'm jealous.

I think they're likely having the time of their life.

I'm thinking she doesn't have to put up with a nagging husband's crap or support her unemployed husband, and is free to do as she pleases. She can go out with her friends and not have to fight about it. I'm jealous of her.