Leave a note where you found it. 'We need to talk." Then ground the fuck out of her unless you want her to only get in to safety colleges.

Replace the pot with oregano and see what happens.

Seriously, the PPs who said to treat it like alcohol are right.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pot can kill. Not alone in a room just overdosing, but the more acceptable it becomes, the more people will drive while high. Sam Ellis was drunk and high on marijuana when he killed his two friends last summer.

not true.. studies are proving that pot doesn't impair driving the way alcohol and other drugs do

Link?

I provided some later in the thread

Anonymous wrote:I understand you, OP. My big issues with this would be, in no particular order:

1. she's doing something that could affect DH's job/the family's ability to support itself

2. she's doing something that can affect her brain, but it's still developing and will be until 24 or 25

3. she's doing something illegal.

This. And that's what I'd tell her. First, she should not be engaging in illegal activity in my house. Second, she needs to be aware that her behavior can put others at risk (in this case, of job loss). And third, she may not fully understand the risks to herself. I mean, the first two would apply to any adult staying in my house. And the third isn't freaking out about pot, it's doing your job as a parent to help your kids learn to make good decisions; in this case, by explaining why pot is especially risky for teenagers with still-developing brains.

Alcohol kills more brain cells than cannabis.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have small kids, but I work with teens as a psychiatrist and have some experience in adolescent rehab centers. My problem with pot isn't that it causes people to do dangerous things, but just that it causes apathy. Kids who are smoking don't really care about doing well in school, playing sports, relationships with friends and parents. I can usually tell within twenty minutes of meeting a kid in my clinic if they are a regular pot smoker. They just don't care about stuff that most adolescents get all in a tizzy about.
And besides the impact on future career prospects if a kid tanks high school, there are developmental implications as well. Kids are supposed to get all depressed when they break up with their first boyfriend or go through any number of high school dramas. If you choose not to deal with these things and just get high instead, you are going to be far behind your peers if/when you do decide to cope with normal ups and downs of daily life.
It also puts kids at higher risk for developing psychosis as they get older.
So, no, finding your daughter smoking pot in her room on a Sunday afternoon isn't as bad as finding her passed out drunk in your front yard on Saturday night, but it is something to take seriously.

You have some valid points, but LOL at the bolded above....as a psychiatrist, it must be good for business when kids "get all depressed" with their breakups and high school dramas.

Let me ask you this--do you prescribe your teenage patients things like Adderal, Ritalin, Xanax, etc.?

Just an FYI--nearly every coke head at my competitive university was prescribed (and abused) those "legal" drugs in high school. If you think the majority of your teenage patients are taking those drugs as prescribed, you are sadly mistaken. Many of them are crushing them up and snorting, passing them out to their friends like Skittles, and looking for more aggressive stimulant options (like coke) once they reach college.

"Many of them" isn't really a quantifiable number. Is there research to prove this? Or is it anecdotal experience.

Another issue with pot is that it's fat soluable, where as alcohol is not. Alcohol passed through your system fairly quickly. Pot hangs out, which is why you can flunk a drug test 2 weeks after smoking. There are long-term effects on memory, learning and even IQ for even occasional pot smokers.

My observations are anecdotal, just like the psychiatrist's are. As for the abuse of drugs like Ritalin/Adderal (prescribed by psychiatrists)--this is well-documented. http://www.cnn.com/2014/04/17/health/adderall-college-students/

If you are so concerned about the long-term effects of pot on memory, learning and IQ, why don't you at least acknowledge the long term effects of alcohol on teens?

^^cite your last sentence

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have small kids, but I work with teens as a psychiatrist and have some experience in adolescent rehab centers. My problem with pot isn't that it causes people to do dangerous things, but just that it causes apathy. Kids who are smoking don't really care about doing well in school, playing sports, relationships with friends and parents. I can usually tell within twenty minutes of meeting a kid in my clinic if they are a regular pot smoker. They just don't care about stuff that most adolescents get all in a tizzy about.
And besides the impact on future career prospects if a kid tanks high school, there are developmental implications as well. Kids are supposed to get all depressed when they break up with their first boyfriend or go through any number of high school dramas. If you choose not to deal with these things and just get high instead, you are going to be far behind your peers if/when you do decide to cope with normal ups and downs of daily life.
It also puts kids at higher risk for developing psychosis as they get older.
So, no, finding your daughter smoking pot in her room on a Sunday afternoon isn't as bad as finding her passed out drunk in your front yard on Saturday night, but it is something to take seriously.

You have some valid points, but LOL at the bolded above....as a psychiatrist, it must be good for business when kids "get all depressed" with their breakups and high school dramas.

Let me ask you this--do you prescribe your teenage patients things like Adderal, Ritalin, Xanax, etc.?

Just an FYI--nearly every coke head at my competitive university was prescribed (and abused) those "legal" drugs in high school. If you think the majority of your teenage patients are taking those drugs as prescribed, you are sadly mistaken. Many of them are crushing them up and snorting, passing them out to their friends like Skittles, and looking for more aggressive stimulant options (like coke) once they reach college.

"Many of them" isn't really a quantifiable number. Is there research to prove this? Or is it anecdotal experience.

Another issue with pot is that it's fat soluable, where as alcohol is not. Alcohol passed through your system fairly quickly. Pot hangs out, which is why you can flunk a drug test 2 weeks after smoking. There are long-term effects on memory, learning and even IQ for even occasional pot smokers.

Anonymous wrote:I have small kids, but I work with teens as a psychiatrist and have some experience in adolescent rehab centers. My problem with pot isn't that it causes people to do dangerous things, but just that it causes apathy. Kids who are smoking don't really care about doing well in school, playing sports, relationships with friends and parents. I can usually tell within twenty minutes of meeting a kid in my clinic if they are a regular pot smoker. They just don't care about stuff that most adolescents get all in a tizzy about.
And besides the impact on future career prospects if a kid tanks high school, there are developmental implications as well. Kids are supposed to get all depressed when they break up with their first boyfriend or go through any number of high school dramas. If you choose not to deal with these things and just get high instead, you are going to be far behind your peers if/when you do decide to cope with normal ups and downs of daily life.
It also puts kids at higher risk for developing psychosis as they get older.
So, no, finding your daughter smoking pot in her room on a Sunday afternoon isn't as bad as finding her passed out drunk in your front yard on Saturday night, but it is something to take seriously.

You have some valid points, but LOL at the bolded above....as a psychiatrist, it must be good for business when kids "get all depressed" with their breakups and high school dramas.

Let me ask you this--do you prescribe your teenage patients things like Adderal, Ritalin, Xanax, etc.?

Just an FYI--nearly every coke head at my competitive university was prescribed (and abused) those "legal" drugs in high school. If you think the majority of your teenage patients are taking those drugs as prescribed, you are sadly mistaken. Many of them are crushing them up and snorting, passing them out to their friends like Skittles, and looking for more aggressive stimulant options (like coke) once they reach college.

I have small kids, but I work with teens as a psychiatrist and have some experience in adolescent rehab centers. My problem with pot isn't that it causes people to do dangerous things, but just that it causes apathy. Kids who are smoking don't really care about doing well in school, playing sports, relationships with friends and parents. I can usually tell within twenty minutes of meeting a kid in my clinic if they are a regular pot smoker. They just don't care about stuff that most adolescents get all in a tizzy about.
And besides the impact on future career prospects if a kid tanks high school, there are developmental implications as well. Kids are supposed to get all depressed when they break up with their first boyfriend or go through any number of high school dramas. If you choose not to deal with these things and just get high instead, you are going to be far behind your peers if/when you do decide to cope with normal ups and downs of daily life.
It also puts kids at higher risk for developing psychosis as they get older.
So, no, finding your daughter smoking pot in her room on a Sunday afternoon isn't as bad as finding her passed out drunk in your front yard on Saturday night, but it is something to take seriously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would have held onto if for myself but DH was worried having it in the house would affect his clearance. We live in DC so it's legal by district law for *adults* - DD is sixteen. I could smell it from the hall which is why I went looking.

Now I'm not sure about next steps. Im tempted to say nothing and see if she has the courage to mention it/apologize. We aren't super anti-pot, DD knows we think it's safer than alcohol and should be legal for adults but that teens shouldn't be doing either. We don't smoke - DH never has and I haven't since college, so she's not getting any messaging that this is okay behavior. I'm annoyed that she disrespected us/broke the rules, but not that worked up over occasional pot smoking. So what's the best way to approach this?

You have set the standard with your attitude toward pot. You say it is safer than alcohol. How so? Pot can be laced with all sorts of chemicals and has a detrimental effect on memory. As long as you send these messages, you will have a hard time managing your DD's behavior and drug/alcohol use.

OP didn't say they thought pot was innocuous...she said they believe it's safer than alcohol.

Many reputable doctors/researchers espouse the same idea--they agree that neither alcohol nor pot should be used by teens--but still think pot is the lesser of the two evils (for teens).

To answer your question "How so?"

Everyone has a right to their own opinion, but OP's opinion (backed by some in the medical community) isn't wrong just because it doesn't agree with your sensibilities.

"The first answer always has to be neither," Dr. Aaron Carroll, a professor of pediatrics at Indiana University School of Medicine, told CBS News. But then he acknowledges they're not exactly equivalent -- and he considers alcohol much more dangerous.

Carroll wrote a provocative piece for the New York Times exploring what's known about the risks of these two popular but easily abused substances. And while doesn't advocate underage users trying either one, he says it's clear that overall, alcohol causes a lot more harm.

"After going through all the data and looking at which is more dangerous in almost any metric you would pick, pot really looks like it's safer than alcohol," he said. "So I guess if I had to choose, that would be the answer."

Though many people associate drugs with crime, Carroll notes that most of the criminal activity tied to marijuana has to do with illegal distribution, not violence committed by people who smoke it.

"On the other hand, the number of crimes that are committed that have some sort of alcohol component related to them are massive -- hundreds of thousands a year, if not more," he said. "It's far worse than what's going on with pot."

Violent assaults, in particular, are often fueled by alcohol. In contrast, Carroll says research shows rates of interpersonal or domestic violence are actually "lower in people who smoke marijuana than people that don't."

Also tipping the scales against drinking is the fact that 1,800 college students die each year from alcohol-related accidents and almost 600,000 are injured while under the influence of alcohol, according to the National Institutes of Health.

A study published last year, looking at data from more than 7,400 U.S. high school seniors who said they had used alcohol or marijuana at least once, found drinking alcohol was associated with more unsafe driving, damage to relationships with friends and romantic partners, and regret about actions while under the influence of alcohol, especially among females.

"We always worry about pot as a gateway drug," Carroll said, "but research shows us that about 9 percent of people who experiment with pot will become dependent or abuse it. The percent that later become dependent or abuse alcohol is greater than 20 percent. So more people who use alcohol are actually going to have a problem with it later in life."

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/which-is-worse-booze-or-pot-a-doctor-weighs-in/

http://www.salon.com/2015/07/08/7_facts_that_prove_alcohol_is_way_more_dangerous_than_marijuana/

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I would have held onto if for myself but DH was worried having it in the house would affect his clearance. We live in DC so it's legal by district law for *adults* - DD is sixteen. I could smell it from the hall which is why I went looking.

Now I'm not sure about next steps. Im tempted to say nothing and see if she has the courage to mention it/apologize. We aren't super anti-pot, DD knows we think it's safer than alcohol and should be legal for adults but that teens shouldn't be doing either. We don't smoke - DH never has and I haven't since college, so she's not getting any messaging that this is okay behavior. I'm annoyed that she disrespected us/broke the rules, but not that worked up over occasional pot smoking. So what's the best way to approach this?

You have set the standard with your attitude toward pot. You say it is safer than alcohol. How so? Pot can be laced with all sorts of chemicals and has a detrimental effect on memory. As long as you send these messages, you will have a hard time managing your DD's behavior and drug/alcohol use.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pot can kill. Not alone in a room just overdosing, but the more acceptable it becomes, the more people will drive while high. Sam Ellis was drunk and high on marijuana when he killed his two friends last summer.

not true.. studies are proving that pot doesn't impair driving the way alcohol and other drugs do

Link?

There will not be drugs or alcohol in my house while I have minors living with me. It's not going to happen (probably won't after they're gone, either). Oh, and I teach kids to respect their bodies and minds, and let them have time to develop.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP does not sound like an idiot. She sounds like a rational person who knows pot is not evil, but still doesn't want her teen to bring it in the house.

Tell your teen just this.

OP said she doesn't care that her 16 year old does occasional pot. That is an idiot

This. And with OP as a mother, DD needs to preserve the brain cells she has. Genetics are not working in her favor here.

Jesus, people, get a grip. It's pot. She's 16. Try to stop it. I actually don't know anyone in my social circle (PhDs, professionals, etc.) who DIDN'T smoke pot in HS. The conversation needs to be about being safe and smart. Abstinence-only discussions go over about as well as those surrounding sex.

Sex =\= illegal (statutory rape aside)
Pot == illegal almost everywhere (DC aside)

Even if you personally think it's no big deal, you owe it to your kids not to shrug off violating the law.

This is insanity- unwanted pregnancy/ sexually transmitted diseases are so not a big deal against POT SMOKING... lady you are crazy!! even under age, this girl won't serve jail time getting caught with a little pot...

19 states plus the district have decriminalized pot
23 states offer medical pot
2 states do retail sales

your "almost everywhere" is getting smaller by the year.

*Especially* underage she won't get in big legal trouble for pot. My possession charge was dropped after taking a course in drugs & alcohol.