Anonymous
Post 01/31/2016 13:34     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How could you not? I honestly don't understand. Don't you set financial goals together? Have a budget? Bank together? How would this be possible?


We don't really bank together - we each have our own savings account, and we have a joint account for household/child expenses. Sure, we set financial goals together. We can talk about savings, purchases, plans, investments, etc. but I don't need to know his salary to have those discussions. I don't know or care how much he has in his savings account, nor he mine. I realize that's not the approach most couple take, but it works for us.


Do you have children?


Yes, three children.


So what happens if he becomes disabled and you find out there's near nothing in the savings account? Or he dies and leaves you with five figures of credit card debt? I'm not saying these things will happen, but I would want to protect myself a little more.


We pay our credit cards off in full every month, so unless he has a secret credit card I don't know about (which wouldn't be prevented by my knowing his salary) that's not a concern. He has life insurance, and retirement savings for which I am the beneficiary. We have no debt. I work full time and have my own savings as well. I feel well protected financially in the event something were to happen to him.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 20:50     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
Um, so you never look at your tax returns, not to mention collecting the documentation for them?
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 20:42     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How could you not? I honestly don't understand. Don't you set financial goals together? Have a budget? Bank together? How would this be possible?


We don't really bank together - we each have our own savings account, and we have a joint account for household/child expenses. Sure, we set financial goals together. We can talk about savings, purchases, plans, investments, etc. but I don't need to know his salary to have those discussions. I don't know or care how much he has in his savings account, nor he mine. I realize that's not the approach most couple take, but it works for us.


Do you have children?


Yes, three children.


So what happens if he becomes disabled and you find out there's near nothing in the savings account? Or he dies and leaves you with five figures of credit card debt? I'm not saying these things will happen, but I would want to protect myself a little more.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 20:20     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How could you not? I honestly don't understand. Don't you set financial goals together? Have a budget? Bank together? How would this be possible?


We don't really bank together - we each have our own savings account, and we have a joint account for household/child expenses. Sure, we set financial goals together. We can talk about savings, purchases, plans, investments, etc. but I don't need to know his salary to have those discussions. I don't know or care how much he has in his savings account, nor he mine. I realize that's not the approach most couple take, but it works for us.


Do you have children?


Yes, three children.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 19:23     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
We were starting to talk about moving in together and discussing where we would want to live and what we could pay...so yeah, we knew each others salaries.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 19:23     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
So I think by date 3 I knew what my future DH was making and had him enrolled in his 401k plan straight out of his postdoc. Because I am a long range strategic planner like that.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 19:18     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's not necessary to spend all the money you have to be happy.


Get this idiot off the board.


-1 but lol
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 18:54     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
This reminds me of a thread a couple of months ago, when they guy who recently found out that his wife's family paid off her Nordstrom credit card every month.

Don't kid yourself. People are weird. Trust is a great thing, but requires two sides with equal commitment to the endeavor.

Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 18:51     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
Anonymous wrote:It's not necessary to spend all the money you have to be happy.


Get this idiot off the board.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 18:47     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
Anonymous wrote:Me. I didn't care.


It's not like not caring what color hair he had (or if he had hair)

I hope your overly simplistic world view is supported by a trust fund and a damn good lawyer
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 18:06     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you get married not knowing your spouse's income? How do you make a budget without that information?


We don't need to budget because we live well below our means and always have.


I know people like that, but guess what, they sit down every weekend and discuss finances. You never know when something comes out of left field (death in the family for example).
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 18:05     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
It's not necessary to spend all the money you have to be happy.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 18:04     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
Yes and yes. I said I knew within an order of magnitude, and that's still all I know. So, I guess I cannot claim to have "no idea" of what she makes."
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 17:58     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you get married not knwoing uour spouse's income? How do you make a budget without that information?


We don't need to budget because we live well below our means and always have.


How can you know what is below means if you don't know what the means are?


We know within an order of magnitude what our salaries are and that's close enough for our purposes. Our expenses are an order of magnitude less than either's salary. Combined, who cares.


You make 10x what you spend?!? Do you live in the DC area? Because for that to happen you are making $500k+, at which point it is pretty disingenuous to to act like you don't know. Or perhaps you do not understand what orders of magnitude are...?
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2016 17:51     Subject: Anyone else get married and had no idea what your spouses salary was at the time?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How do you get married not knwoing uour spouse's income? How do you make a budget without that information?


We don't need to budget because we live well below our means and always have.


How can you know what is below means if you don't know what the means are?


We know within an order of magnitude what our salaries are and that's close enough for our purposes. Our expenses are an order of magnitude less than either's salary. Combined, who cares.