Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 23:03     Subject: Re:What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
That if she would be ok with me sleeping with other women, I would be the most devoted loving husband ever (and she can sleep with other men too). It would remove the elephant in the room of our sex drive disparity.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 21:14     Subject: Re:What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
I'd ask him if he remembers foreplay, because I barely do.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 21:12     Subject: Re:What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
Anonymous wrote:I would love to tell DH that I lost respect for him. He makes excuses for everything he never gets done when the truth is he is just lazy. That I don't even want to have sex with him anymore because even that seems like it's too much of an effort for him. He's out of shape and huffs and puffs about anything even remotely physical and I can't count on him to take care of even one administrative thing for the kids (for example, calling the school to confirm X, making a Dr.s appointment for Y, signing kids up for various activities) it's always "I didn't get around to it" yet he doesn't do anything else.

That I am only staying with him because of the kids and he's a generally nice guy and we get along - it's just I have to do everything.


+100

Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 20:39     Subject: What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
Anonymous wrote:I wish she could see how mean she is to me and our son sometimes. Her personality is just like her mom's who she deeply resented for the exact same type of meaness. Even worse is that she can't see that she's building up the same type of resentment in our son that she had for her mom.


Why would you not talk to her about this? Stand up for your son at a bare minimum.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 20:29     Subject: What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
Anonymous wrote:I'd say that I'm tired and need help. That I'm not as strong and capable as he thinks I am. I want him to hold me and let me cry, and him not think I'm being weak. Then I want him to make love to me like he used to, like he really desires me.


Wow! I have felt this many times.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 19:26     Subject: What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
We fuck regularly, but there are at least three people in the bed because in order for me to cum I usually need to fantasize about somebody else ....
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 18:23     Subject: What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
That even though she was away on a business trip last week, none of us (H + tween kids) was particularly thrilled that she came back, which she cemented by spending the first few hours bitching about her meetings and texting her friends on the phone.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 18:20     Subject: What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
Anonymous wrote:I wish she could see how mean she is to me and our son sometimes. Her personality is just like her mom's who she deeply resented for the exact same type of meaness. Even worse is that she can't see that she's building up the same type of resentment in our son that she had for her mom.


Wow! Bingo! +1
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 18:19     Subject: What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Brush your teeth before going to bed. Seriously. Last night was like kissing a taco and was a real turn-off. This from a DH.


Mouth taco or between the legs taco?


Um, teeth. That was enough to turn me off, so instead I rolled over and read a book. Seriously, she doesn't care enough to brush her teeth before coming to bed, yet wants to kiss?
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 17:26     Subject: Re:What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
Anonymous wrote:I would love to tell DH that I lost respect for him. He makes excuses for everything he never gets done when the truth is he is just lazy. That I don't even want to have sex with him anymore because even that seems like it's too much of an effort for him. He's out of shape and huffs and puffs about anything even remotely physical and I can't count on him to take care of even one administrative thing for the kids (for example, calling the school to confirm X, making a Dr.s appointment for Y, signing kids up for various activities) it's always "I didn't get around to it" yet he doesn't do anything else.

That I am only staying with him because of the kids and he's a generally nice guy and we get along - it's just I have to do everything.


Sorry, PP, that sucks really bad. My DH can be like this, too.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 16:51     Subject: Re:What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
Anonymous wrote:to the PP who wrote this: "He needs help. Guide him. Most men want to please their partners but all men require feedback. Saying "you didn't please me" isn't helpful. You need to tell him, or better yet show him, how to please you."

You are either a woman or the most evolved man ever. My husband doesn't want to please me - he's only 50, but he grew up in an Ozzie and Harriet household - women asking for something, you've got to be kidding. We can't have a conversation about what movie to see, let alone whether I'm happy in bed. I know that I am choosing to stay in this situation, but it's a lot more complicated than an orgasm.

If only I had know this before I had the two most wonderful kids in the world.


I'm the PP who said that and I'm not that evolved. I simply know the frustration of suspecting that DW isn't getting as much as she can out of it but has a hard (if not impossible) time of telling me what she really wants. It's like I'm supposed to know exactly what she needs, where, and when. I just want her to scream, "touch me there now, with your foot, dammit," but she's far too passive to articulate anything.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 16:50     Subject: Re:What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That I fantasize about giving a previous lover head almost every single day.


Hot


Very.

Head rules.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 16:48     Subject: What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
I waste hours getting high and watching porn.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 16:47     Subject: Re:What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
I would love to tell DH that I lost respect for him. He makes excuses for everything he never gets done when the truth is he is just lazy. That I don't even want to have sex with him anymore because even that seems like it's too much of an effort for him. He's out of shape and huffs and puffs about anything even remotely physical and I can't count on him to take care of even one administrative thing for the kids (for example, calling the school to confirm X, making a Dr.s appointment for Y, signing kids up for various activities) it's always "I didn't get around to it" yet he doesn't do anything else.

That I am only staying with him because of the kids and he's a generally nice guy and we get along - it's just I have to do everything.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2016 16:45     Subject: Re:What would you really like to tell your spouse or partner but can't or won't?
I've got to weigh in here - my husband, who I haven't had an orgasm with in years, is well-hung. My lover, who I can't get enough of, is not. It's not the package. It's the interest in me, the feeling that I'm the only one in the world...........
I don't want to be his wife, I just want that feeling.....