Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bigger issue is not that OP has no friends to throw a shower, but rather that she has no friends. This will make motherhood isolating.

Maybe. I don't have many friends and I have been perfectly content w that for my entire life, including motherhood. I only rarely feel isolated or lonely, mostly I'm perfectly fine w just having close relationships w my husband, family members and a handful of not very close friends. Not everyone needs a lot of friends to have a happy and fulfilling life

What happens if you get divorced?

You date and find another guy to love? But why talk so negatively? Op and her husband have a baby on the way! It's time to celebrate!

Anonymous wrote:Thanks pps.

I think I'll just reiterated to my DH that it doesn't make sense to have a shower. And let our families know we don't need anything big for baby. They have been asking. We would never ASK them for anyrhiw but we also wouldn't say no of they offered to get the baby some diapers or gifts. They are family after all and they are excited.

I actually work solo so I don't have an office environment and we did have a large circle of friends who disagreed with our choice to live together 6 mths before our wedding. The whole pre martial sex thing really made us terrible people I guess. Oh well I guess we'll make friends in hell

Let them plan a family shower for you. They're excited! They love you guys. It'll be fun .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The bigger issue is not that OP has no friends to throw a shower, but rather that she has no friends. This will make motherhood isolating.

Maybe. I don't have many friends and I have been perfectly content w that for my entire life, including motherhood. I only rarely feel isolated or lonely, mostly I'm perfectly fine w just having close relationships w my husband, family members and a handful of not very close friends. Not everyone needs a lot of friends to have a happy and fulfilling life

What happens if you get divorced?

Anonymous wrote:The bigger issue is not that OP has no friends to throw a shower, but rather that she has no friends. This will make motherhood isolating.

Maybe. I don't have many friends and I have been perfectly content w that for my entire life, including motherhood. I only rarely feel isolated or lonely, mostly I'm perfectly fine w just having close relationships w my husband, family members and a handful of not very close friends. Not everyone needs a lot of friends to have a happy and fulfilling life

Anonymous wrote:Thanks pps.

I think I'll just reiterated to my DH that it doesn't make sense to have a shower. And let our families know we don't need anything big for baby. They have been asking. We would never ASK them for anyrhiw but we also wouldn't say no of they offered to get the baby some diapers or gifts. They are family after all and they are excited.

I actually work solo so I don't have an office environment and we did have a large circle of friends who disagreed with our choice to live together 6 mths before our wedding. The whole pre martial sex thing really made us terrible people I guess. Oh well I guess we'll make friends in hell

If people ask you if there's anything you need for baby, it's perfectly fine to say x or y or even we are registered at x.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks pps.

I think I'll just reiterated to my DH that it doesn't make sense to have a shower. And let our families know we don't need anything big for baby. They have been asking. We would never ASK them for anyrhiw but we also wouldn't say no of they offered to get the baby some diapers or gifts. They are family after all and they are excited.

I actually work solo so I don't have an office environment and we did have a large circle of friends who disagreed with our choice to live together 6 mths before our wedding. The whole pre martial sex thing really made us terrible people I guess. Oh well I guess we'll make friends in hell

You don't need to have a shower to have your family buy you gifts! They want to buy you gifts to celebrate your little one. I would recommend starting a registry even if you don't tell anyone in order to get the completion discount...but if you do register and let family know you have done so (or rather let your mom or sister let others know), I also don't think it's a big deal. Sounds like a shower might be a little forced in your case, though a family-only shower would be fine, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't let your family share the joy by buying you gifts if that's what they want to do (obviously no obligation that they need to do so).

Thanks pps.

I think I'll just reiterated to my DH that it doesn't make sense to have a shower. And let our families know we don't need anything big for baby. They have been asking. We would never ASK them for anyrhiw but we also wouldn't say no of they offered to get the baby some diapers or gifts. They are family after all and they are excited.

I actually work solo so I don't have an office environment and we did have a large circle of friends who disagreed with our choice to live together 6 mths before our wedding. The whole pre martial sex thing really made us terrible people I guess. Oh well I guess we'll make friends in hell

^Point is - don't freak out if you don't have a lot of friends with young children. So much depends on the stage of life you are in and really just the timing of it all.

If your family wants to throw a shower that is fine by me.

Anonymous wrote:The bigger issue is not that OP has no friends to throw a shower, but rather that she has no friends. This will make motherhood isolating.

I was 16 years out of HS, 12 out of college before I had my first baby. Dh and I were working long hours every day and coming home on the weekends to do yardwork and chill out. Sometimes we had friends over but they were usually other child free couples (no imminent plans to have kids) who wanted to hang out, eat and drink some wine. Sometimes we went out on the town but not that often. Many of those folks are still child free.

When I got pregnant, some of my old HS friends and relatives were dealing with teenagers . Old college friends had moved on, some were newly divorced and back on the dating scene. My younger sister was really the only person with young kids that I spent any time hanging around...aside from coworkers at work whom I had worked with for years.

Long story short, dh and I weren't friendless but who do you think should have thrown us a baby shower? Our single, beer drinking, fun loving former housemate? I wasn't exactly running with the "mommy crowd" and no way would I have put them on the spot like that. If my sister or my mom had thrown us a shower I really do think that would have been FINE. As it turns out, I had a shower at work thrown by my coworkers.

When my first was born I opted to SAH. I made it a point to get out there and meet other moms. But it took time to form solid friendships with other moms. It happened, just not right away. Some of those ladies are still my friends over a decade later :).

If you are a grown woman. Working full time, and have no friends then you have some serious problems.

Yikes! I am a grown woman, working full time and don't have any close friends except for one friend from college. I'm in my mid 30s and the rest of my small office is in their mid to late 50s. We are friendly and cordial at work, but we don't hang out outside of work. I'd consider my coworkers friendly acquaintances - they gave me a little baby shower at work, but I would definitely not expect them to come to a shower outside of the office with my family.

The bigger issue is not that OP has no friends to throw a shower, but rather that she has no friends. This will make motherhood isolating.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You wouldn't throw the shower for yourself anyway so don't worry yourself about it at all- you don't need the stress of this. But DH could get together with your family and figure some things out.

Good luck and hugs to you

Friends, not family, give showers.

Wrong! Whoever wants to host the shower does it.

Only for the hoi polloi.

Yes, by all means, have your sister throw your shower like a commoner. Meanwhile, PP will be wistfully reminiscing about the days when men wore hats and there were segregated drinking fountains.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First off it isn't proper to have family members throw showers.

Just accept the fact you don't have friends to invite and focus on what you have going on in your life. Count your blessings. Don't make someone throw you a party and invite people you aren't close with. That's lame and you'll feel awkward. You'll live without a baby shower.

Incorrect this is old school. OP my family is throwing me a coed shower. Really looking forward to it since I had been dreading an all girls shower when I don't have many close girlfriends to invite.

I love how people try to justify their tacky behavior by saying the rules don't apply anymore.

You seem to be the only one who thinks thi applies. Let me guess, you're a proper southern lady?

Family throwing a shower is way different than yourself.

PP is correct. It is tacky, and a gift grab. Buy the stuff yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe you should focus on making some friends.

We have tried....I hear it gets easier w kids. Play dates and groups and such. But we haven't had any luck.

If you are a grown woman. Working full time, and have no friends then you have some serious problems.

What? You have no idea what her office environment (number of similar aged colleagues) or commute (and time for hobbies outside of work) is like. What an unfair conclusion to jump to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You wouldn't throw the shower for yourself anyway so don't worry yourself about it at all- you don't need the stress of this. But DH could get together with your family and figure some things out.

Good luck and hugs to you

Friends, not family, give showers.

Wrong! Whoever wants to host the shower does it.

Only for the hoi polloi.