Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are often shitty to each other. This thread is exhibit A. With guys you don't have as many queen bee/mean girl issues. Women tend to put a lot more social pressure upon one another to conform than men do.

Women are their own worst enemy.

Writes a misogynistic man or self hating woman.

From the manual on "how to win any argument" by demonizing every other group/race/gender/etc.

A random DH... can I crash this thread?

I can relate to the OP. I have friends from when I was a kid, but making friends life is harder as life gets busier, people are more discriminate who they invest time in, some people get socially polarized by hobbies/religion... so many reasons! Regards, sexes, I find converstations and getting to know guys harder work cause the coventional topics of sports, cars, etc are of little intetrest to me.

There doesn't have to be anything wrong with you, but if this is making you anxious... it's worth soul searching why.

I'm a man -- so, biased. But male friendships just look so much easier. You give each other (mostly) good natured crap. You joke about superficial things like bodily functions. You don't worry too much about each other's feelings and don't expect anyone to worry too much about your. When you talk about serious stuff, you do it at a level of abstraction that's less likely to be taken personally (think national politics rather than the neighborhood association.)

That's not to say these friendships are better. They can fail to get very deep. But I can see where some women might find this type of social interaction more comfortable than what might be readily available among people they know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OMG, no wonder OP doesn't have women friends! Some of you are awful, awful human beings. I guess she was unlucky enough to only meet women like you!

OP, I hear you about not having much in common with other women. To others: it is not always about interests and hobbies. Many people are in different places in their lives, and it is impossible to relate to most other females. This happens, and this does not necessarily means OP is a self-centered insecure snowflake. Stop being so mean!

So no other woman within 100 miles of OP is in the same or similar place that she is?
Yet all the men around her are?
Okay sure. Seems like more excuse making and poor excuse making at that.
Oh and that's not OP's reasoning at all.
But let's all sy it's the other women or nothing to do with OP because that's Mean. The societal conditioning is astounding in the replies to this post on so many levels.

Yes, some women are in a place where none of their acquaintances are. If you have difficulty imagining that, I envy you.

Men live in a different emotional universe, so yes, it may be easier to relate to some of them.

PP here - just a note that I don't sit around judging other women on some sort of unknown female social handbook. There might be some women like that, but none of my friends are like that at all. So you should be more openminded about this and not assume other women are busy judging you.

I'm going to try to offer some advice, though I don't have the same problem as OP. OP, you talk about not relating to your husband's friends' wives, but maybe that is one of the problems. I haven't liked some of my husband's friends' wives at all, not because they are women, but because we had nothing in common and had personalities that might not mesh well. I don't hang out with those women, and it's not a big deal. I can go to a dinner with them, but those women are not going to be my best friends. I bet this is not that unusual. I wouldn't judge your ability to relate to women on those encounters.

What you might want to do if you do want a group of female friends is to think of something that interests you and join a Meetup group. For example, if you like rock climbing, go join a group with women and try your hand at it. It might be awkward at first because I think you have kind of developed some sort of anxiety about this, but if you force yourself to try to engage with women with similar interests, it might help. Then you can see who you are most compatible with. And you need to have an open mind about this.

One last thing - I have given up on a cohesive group of female friends like I had when I was younger. I have some very, very good female friends, but they aren't really friends with each other. It bothers me not to have some sort of little community where everyone is close, but I am accepting that this is good too - to have independent friendships that are deep and meaningful.

Hope this helps!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think I'm a special snowflake or somehow better than others. I desperately want to have a nice group of close girlfriends. I jus have never been able to accumulate female friends because I guess on some level I feel like I don't have anything to offer other women. I'm not very social and I'm not very cool. Why would they want to befriend me? So I guess I'm always guarded and come across as snobby or off putting.

Okay, but why is it that you think you have something to offer guys then?

I dunno. It's so much easier to talk to guys. There's less pressure for me to be a certain way. All I have to do is be myself and joke around and we become friends. With girls I always feel like they are trying to judge me or place me in a box. I'm just not fluent in female social politics. I'm a loner, I don't have a gaggle of girlfriends so I just can't relate.

Anonymous wrote:OMG, no wonder OP doesn't have women friends! Some of you are awful, awful human beings. I guess she was unlucky enough to only meet women like you!

OP, I hear you about not having much in common with other women. To others: it is not always about interests and hobbies. Many people are in different places in their lives, and it is impossible to relate to most other females. This happens, and this does not necessarily means OP is a self-centered insecure snowflake. Stop being so mean!

So no other woman within 100 miles of OP is in the same or similar place that she is?
Yet all the men around her are?
Okay sure. Seems like more excuse making and poor excuse making at that.
Oh and that's not OP's reasoning at all.
But let's all sy it's the other women or nothing to do with OP because that's Mean. The societal conditioning is astounding in the replies to this post on so many levels.

OMG, no wonder OP doesn't have women friends! Some of you are awful, awful human beings. I guess she was unlucky enough to only meet women like you!

OP, I hear you about not having much in common with other women. To others: it is not always about interests and hobbies. Many people are in different places in their lives, and it is impossible to relate to most other females. This happens, and this does not necessarily means OP is a self-centered insecure snowflake. Stop being so mean!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women are often shitty to each other. This thread is exhibit A. With guys you don't have as many queen bee/mean girl issues. Women tend to put a lot more social pressure upon one another to conform than men do.

Women are their own worst enemy.

Writes a misogynistic man or self hating woman.

Anonymous wrote:Women are often shitty to each other. This thread is exhibit A. With guys you don't have as many queen bee/mean girl issues. Women tend to put a lot more social pressure upon one another to conform than men do.

Women are their own worst enemy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Piling on with attacks against OP isn't at all useful and just makes you all look like hateful, bitchy shrews.

+1 and insecure self-serving narcissistic psychobable... but sometimes you have to pick through the weeds to find the flowers.

Sorry, second poster had it right. People like OP are space cadets who somehow think they are special.

Anonymous wrote:Allow me to be blunt, any woman who has claimed she can't be friends with another female because she doesn't have anything in common with them has 100% of the time been the problem.

She is usually overly critical of other women while make excuses for men.

She usually suffers from "snowflake syndrome" she is just oh so unique and the only woman on the planet to have xyz interests.

She also typically lacks appropriate social boundaries ie blantantlyflirts with boyfrien/husband of other womean and then plays dumb when called out on it saying things like " I just don't see it like that I'm one of the guys lolz."

It's not them or what you have in common with them that's making you insecure. You are insecure. When you are part of a group of females you think you have to compete with them for attention ( primarily male) doesn't matter that you are married.

When you are the only girl in the group you feel like you are special. " The guys are into me."

Grow up.

This is so on the money I can't emphasize it any more.

How come you never hear heterosexual men say "I have difficulty making friends with men, I get along much better with women?"

Anonymous wrote:Piling on with attacks against OP isn't at all useful and just makes you all look like hateful, bitchy shrews.

+1 and insecure self-serving narcissistic psychobable... but sometimes you have to pick through the weeds to find the flowers.

Anonymous wrote:OP and her "eloquent" defender(s) (what adult woman calls another "bitch"?) strongly remind me Samantha Brick from the Daily Mail. For those of you who don't remember her, she's the one who wrote "waaah all women hate me because I'm beautiful!"

And then of course she was oblivious to the fact that 1) she isn't very beautiful and 2) she is an intolerable personality.

Yeah, but Samanta Brick was genuinely a sad person. I felt very sorry for her.