Anonymous wrote:I also agree with OP. Completely rude.

+1

Rude

My DD went to a party a few weeks ago where the mom was inviting a few kids to spend the night at the end of the party, when everyone was there for pickup. Dang! Have enough class to at least text those parents instead of doing it out in the open in front of your guests and their parents.

Too bad OP didn't know this ahead of time - she could have given a "B" present too.. I would have! Actually, I would have skipped the party.

This is super rude and cheap (especially with the pizza and cake). WTF is wrong with people?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It's not rude at all. Growing up in the 70s this was standard. Big party, closest friends spent the night. Everybody got it. If people today were not teaching their kids that the entire universe revolved around them they wouldn't be so sensitive/emotionally immature. But then, look at the parents, just as.

I don't know where you are from but I grew up in the 1970's in Virginia (my first grade school year was 1970-71) and my mother and her friends would have never hosted such an A list/B list split party for us as children or even themselves as adults. And no we weren't little snowflakes to be protected. Hell any of the parents on the street could discipline any of the children and they did.

This isn't about inclusion/exclusion so much as it is common manners, which are apparently not quite so common any more, and basic hosting etiquette.

Rude.

I grew up in the 70s, too, and no one would have dreamed of doing this. You had a big party and you invited everyone, or you had a smaller party and invited just a few friends. You didn't have an A list/B list party.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it IS okay. My kids have birthday parties with 20+ kids in attendance, and then have their closest few friends sleep over. I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party.

Just because you too decide to be rude doesn't make it not rude. it's not very nice.

It's not rude at all. Growing up in the 70s this was standard. Big party, closest friends spent the night. Everybody got it. If people today were not teaching their kids that the entire universe revolved around them they wouldn't be so sensitive/emotionally immature. But then, look at the parents, just as.

I went to a couple of these sorts of parties in the 70s, but they were nothing like what the OP is describing. You'd have the big party at the roller rink (or wherever) and everyone there would have food and cake. Later, your close friends would come over for a sleepover. There was no hoarding of cake or other special things for the A team.

I can see this happening. But those are two different places with time in-between each event. Also, I would assume the two girls invited over plus the birthday girl would have been told not to talk about the sleepover during the party.

agree that it's thoughtless.
Why run the risk of hurting the feelings of other kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it IS okay. My kids have birthday parties with 20+ kids in attendance, and then have their closest few friends sleep over. I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party.

Just because you too decide to be rude doesn't make it not rude. it's not very nice.

It's not rude at all. Growing up in the 70s this was standard. Big party, closest friends spent the night. Everybody got it. If people today were not teaching their kids that the entire universe revolved around them they wouldn't be so sensitive/emotionally immature. But then, look at the parents, just as.

I went to a couple of these sorts of parties in the 70s, but they were nothing like what the OP is describing. You'd have the big party at the roller rink (or wherever) and everyone there would have food and cake. Later, your close friends would come over for a sleepover. There was no hoarding of cake or other special things for the A team.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have had larger parties with a later sleepover with a small number. It was just a few years in early sleepover stages (ages 6-8 or so). The numbers were different, and of course we'd never discuss the sleepover portion, nor would we ever hold anything back from invited guests with explanation that it was for the select guests. That's rude.

Plus we'd always invite th neighbor kid to the sleepover. Gotta keep the eyewitness happy.

In all seriousness, the rudeness was in making it abundantly obvious there was an A and B team. Everyone understands one best friend sleeping over.

I think you were still being incredibly rude not to pick a different night for a small sleepover. What is wrong with people these days.

Teaching their children to just get as many gifts as possible...

Agree, not nice, and rude and in poor taste.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because it IS okay. My kids have birthday parties with 20+ kids in attendance, and then have their closest few friends sleep over. I do warn the sleepover kids not to talk about it at the party.

Just because you too decide to be rude doesn't make it not rude. it's not very nice.

It's not rude at all. Growing up in the 70s this was standard. Big party, closest friends spent the night. Everybody got it. If people today were not teaching their kids that the entire universe revolved around them they wouldn't be so sensitive/emotionally immature. But then, look at the parents, just as.

I could probably be your mom age-wise, and the parents of our kids' friends didn't treat people that way. Neither did I.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It's not rude at all. Growing up in the 70s this was standard. Big party, closest friends spent the night. Everybody got it. If people today were not teaching their kids that the entire universe revolved around them they wouldn't be so sensitive/emotionally immature. But then, look at the parents, just as.

I don't know where you are from but I grew up in the 1970's in Virginia (my first grade school year was 1970-71) and my mother and her friends would have never hosted such an A list/B list split party for us as children or even themselves as adults. And no we weren't little snowflakes to be protected. Hell any of the parents on the street could discipline any of the children and they did.

This isn't about inclusion/exclusion so much as it is common manners, which are apparently not quite so common any more, and basic hosting etiquette.

Rude.

+1 You are so right! Some of these people are just trying to justify extreme rudeness.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/rude


first line under "Rude" :

: not having or showing concern or respect for the rights and feelings of other people : not polite

Whether or not is rude is secondary to the fact that it is extremely unkind and thoughtless. My guess these same people arguing that there is nothing wrong with blatantly excluding some kids (and don't delude yourself that the kids don't know that some are only good enough for the gift giving public celebration and others for the more intimate "true" friend special celebration) would be the same people on here screaming if their kid was subjected to the same treatment. How someone can justify doing this to kids is beyond me. If you want to have a special sleep over don't do it after the bigger party.

Anonymous wrote:

It's not rude at all. Growing up in the 70s this was standard. Big party, closest friends spent the night. Everybody got it. If people today were not teaching their kids that the entire universe revolved around them they wouldn't be so sensitive/emotionally immature. But then, look at the parents, just as.

I don't know where you are from but I grew up in the 1970's in Virginia (my first grade school year was 1970-71) and my mother and her friends would have never hosted such an A list/B list split party for us as children or even themselves as adults. And no we weren't little snowflakes to be protected. Hell any of the parents on the street could discipline any of the children and they did.

This isn't about inclusion/exclusion so much as it is common manners, which are apparently not quite so common any more, and basic hosting etiquette.

Rude.