Anonymous wrote:This morning, a family member asked me to attend something next week and I said I'd love to, but we'll be out of town. Her reply was, "Again?! I wish I had the money to travel like you do. Must be nice". The thing is, we don't even have that much money, we just like to travel and forego other things (eating out, expensive clothing, etc) in order to do that. But, I know we have more money than a lot of people in my family and I feel guilty about it. I don't brag about our life or trips, but since they're close by, they know about it and I think they assume we roll around in piles of money at night. It makes me feel awkward. Anyone else?

Anonymous wrote:I just got in a weird text fight about this exact thing with my sister's MIL. (baby shower issue). There was an awkward beginning with a comment that I could pay for it all, and then when I suggested that the budget wouldn't work (MIL wanted to invite 50-60 people and rent a space on a $500 total budget), I pointed out that it wouldn't work because we couldn't afford to feed anyone anything and have the space. She said then I could just pay for all of it and that I should stop being so negative, and this party wasn't about me. Did I mention I've only met her 4-5 times?

I'm the only one of my family who left a small midwest town, and I feel like the more successful I get, the more my family resents me, despite that I super try to focus just on them when I talk to them. This is why I'm in therapy.

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. If you're "rich," you're automatically a sob. If you're smart you go to the 4th tier small college down the road, commuting from home. If you choose ANY 4 yr university besides that one, you think you're better than everyone. If you go to some other school or work elsewhere but eventually return, it's bc you couldn't "make it" in the big world. If you pursue a career in a big city, money is all that matters to you and you've abandoned God and your family.

Some of those 2000 person small town can be tough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In most cases, having money or not is all about work ethics, focus and priorities. To answer the OP question - No, not a bit!

So far, this whole thread has been pretty clueless, but you are officially the worst. And stupidest.

OP, I can't answer your question as we only have money compared to much of the country and world, but not much here, and it's really uncomfortable being on the poor end of that relationship. I am aware that our vacations are only to visit family, our house is small and shabby, our clothes are Target and Lands End, etc. I would never dream of saying anything to my monied friends - rude - but it is hard to feel, especially suddenly, like a poor relation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We work very hard for what we have also and both come from blue collar humble beginnings. But, being in such a different status now and having it acknowledged by them especially, makes me feel weird.

I still wouldn't feel guilty even if they are blue collar and you aren't. Likely you worked hard through college, grad school, and any number of jobs to get to where you're at. I fee like people assume that those who have some money were just handed said money. I'm an atty and have put up with some difficult firms and my current shitty govt job to make money, so I won't be made to feel guilty about it.

+1

People who count others' pennies have zero idea what it takes to earn their own.

This. I have extended family in rural Pa that literally says - I'd be rich too if I went to a fancy Ivy League college. Not realizing that that involved - being at the top of my high school class to get into said ivy; loans; working my ass off to do well in college to get into a top 10 law school; more loans; working 24-7 in biglaw for a decade; getting pushed out and sucking it up in the govt until I figure out my next step.

Somehow people think money just shows up for the asking once you get admitted to a certain school by luck.

Anonymous wrote:Yes I feel terribly guilty. I am constantly worried that it's not going to last. I work really hard for my money, but I also know that I've benefitted in many ways to get where I am now. I know I easily could be in a much worse financial situation but for the grace of God.

Anonymous wrote:President Obama was right to talk about bitter people in small town Pennsylvania clinging to guns and religion. Kind of dumb to have made that statement in San Francisco though.

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I kind of felt guilty when i started making more than my parents did. I felt bad that they are working so hard and making less.