Whatever you choose, you need to work on some coping skills. What if you have any sort of serious illness in the future? That is not the time to work through your issues. Perhaps reach out to some people either on this thread or in your real life...

OP You need a second opinion. 25% chance is what they say to everyone. look up your exact numbers, and talk to someone else. IVF is a real PITA if your chances are low. they used to tell us 'it only takes one" This is very misleading as the main success in IVf goes to those who have 12+ mature follicles. (which I found out when I had 7, 2 mature, 5 umature-small) Not much chance of a BPP, there and unsurprisingly, no pregnancy.

OP here. Thanks for all your replies. I am ambivalent about having a second child for a lot of reasons. But the biggest reason that I do want a second child is that I would really like to give our child a sibling, so that she won't feel all alone the way I did/do now. Our child doesn't have any cousins, aunts or uncles, and all 4 grandparents live far away and we don't see them often. We have no local family. I don't want our child to grow up lonely, and I also want for her to have more family. On the other hand, raising a child with no family support and a spouse who works 80 hour weeks is challenging.

I have been told different things by the REs I've seen regarding DOR. On the one hand, because I got pregnant just 2 years ago quickly, they felt that I had DOR back then too but managed to get pregnant easily, so they thought there was hope to get pregnant naturally because of that. They also said we haven't been trying naturally long enough. They also said they don't put that much stock in my blood test results, relying more on age to determine IVF stats. Basically they thought I have a 25% chance of giving birth with IVF. I'm not sure if this number should be encouraging or not.

OP It sounds like you have a diagnosis that leads to an easy out (as I did) but sometimes that can leave you feeling guilty. talk this over with your therapist. medically, it seems like you need more than IVF to succeed. Maybe you really understand that you would be doing all of that intervention in vain, which makes you much less motivated. And no matter how supportive your DH is, it is YOU who takes the brunt of the treatments.

... Low ovarian reserve is when there is a physiological decrease in the number of .... treatment decision or to use alternative options like donor eggs or adoption.
https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=decreased+ovarian+reserve+treatment

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't have to do it. You have a family that works for you.

OP here. Being one and done works for me. Being one and done does not work for my husband. He is pressuring me to do IVF and doesn't seem to care what I have to go through, as long as he gets a second child. I feel like he views me as a baby making machine, and is already resentful that I have decreased ovarian reserve and that I haven't already gotten pregnant. I believe that he will harbor resentment forever if I do not go through with IVF.

OP Can you do some online research? Decreased ovarian reserve usually means "going on to DE" so you might be facing doing IVF for no reason. REs are notorious for "trying" when they are getting paid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't have to do it. You have a family that works for you.

OP here. Being one and done works for me. Being one and done does not work for my husband. He is pressuring me to do IVF and doesn't seem to care what I have to go through, as long as he gets a second child. I feel like he views me as a baby making machine, and is already resentful that I have decreased ovarian reserve and that I haven't already gotten pregnant. I believe that he will harbor resentment forever if I do not go through with IVF.

Are you and DH South Asian?
If you can't do needles and swallow pills - you can't, don't do it.

No, we are American. Why do you think we're South Asian?

I can't swallow pills and have never been able to. Some meds come in liquid form or the pills can be crushed, this might be an option for me.

And needles?

You seem to be very infantile and overly reliant on some idealized idea of all-encompassing community support which is not typical in this country. Nobody here wants extended family or community members at every medical appointment, especially when an ultrasound is going up your hooha. Your husband, on the other hand, seems (according to you) not to care about your extreme fear of medical manipulations, lack of coping skills in the daily life and places high value on reproduction at any cost to you - having more kids no matter what. Either that, or you're too afraid to too tell him how you really feel about IVF and that you don't want to go though it. All these things are characteristic of many patriarchal societies where women do not have a lot of independent say over their bodies, marriage or reproductive choices, but if they comply with the cultural code the community and society supports them (aunties will hold your hand 24/7 and "the village" raises all the kids you manage to give life to).

OP - It is noticeable that you haven't answered the hard questions or reached out to people here who wanted to help or offered support. It seems like you're not even up for trying, which is fine, but I wouldn't string DH along by pretending that you are working on it when you're not. I hope both of you find peace with that choice and enjoy the LO you have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't have to do it. You have a family that works for you.

OP here. Being one and done works for me. Being one and done does not work for my husband. He is pressuring me to do IVF and doesn't seem to care what I have to go through, as long as he gets a second child. I feel like he views me as a baby making machine, and is already resentful that I have decreased ovarian reserve and that I haven't already gotten pregnant. I believe that he will harbor resentment forever if I do not go through with IVF.

Have you discussed adoption?

OP here. We are not planning to adopt. My husband has an adopted sibling who is now estranged from the family and doesn't want to do adoption because of this.

Adoption stories can be happy, too.....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't have to do it. You have a family that works for you.

OP here. Being one and done works for me. Being one and done does not work for my husband. He is pressuring me to do IVF and doesn't seem to care what I have to go through, as long as he gets a second child. I feel like he views me as a baby making machine, and is already resentful that I have decreased ovarian reserve and that I haven't already gotten pregnant. I believe that he will harbor resentment forever if I do not go through with IVF.

Have you discussed adoption?

OP here. We are not planning to adopt. My husband has an adopted sibling who is now estranged from the family and doesn't want to do adoption because of this.