Anonymous wrote:My mother regularly lied to my teachers and school. She would lie about the reasons I was late for class, why I left school without being signed out, or why I didn't do my homework. She didn't want me to get in trouble for these things, so would make excuses. The truth was that she was an alcoholic and my home life was chaotic. I was late or not picked up because she was passed out. I didn't do my homework because I was busy fending for myself.

I'm sure the teachers saw through the lies, but what could they do? OP, be careful what you wish for. Sometimes, you really don't want the truth.

I have a similar story, PP. I was also the kid who'd seemingly flake on homework assignments or go from straight As to Ds in one semester or have a spate of absences. My truth was my dad was a raging alcoholic who'd often pull me out of bed in the middle of the night to answer for some perceived wrongdoing/transgression or to clean up a "mess" I made. I was putting my bike away at 2 a.m. or cleaning a bathroom at midnight or listening to my parents scream at each other for hours.

My mom, ever the enabler, would just let me sleep late, or miss school or write a note to my teacher saying that I was sick or needed an extension on the homework. Not one teacher ever asked me further questions or expressed concern. One high school math teacher suggested I get tested for a learning disability, called my parents and asked if they'd come in to discuss this with a school resource teacher. My dad shut it down, said no kid of his was "terrible R-word we no longer use" and conceded that I could get a student math tutor.

My suggestion...ask the questions you want answers to in different way and call in the experts for back up.

By the way, I grew up in a large local school district.

Why do some parents lie to teachers? Because there is some they don't want the teacher to know about or don't want to talk to the teacher about. This seems simple to me -- why does anybody lie to anybody?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with kid seeing SLP.

1) This happens after school. 2) Obviously don't tell child not to say anything. It's like soccer practice to him--something he does after school. 3) Not for speech but for language and, no, apart from the kindergarten teacher who alerted me to a possible problem, which I took immediate steps to address outside the school system, teachers haven't caught on there is a language issue. If they had, I'd have been more than happy to discuss and describe what we are doing to address it.

So much for knowing my kid so well and caring so much.

You seem so angry. Why not homeschool or look for a more nurturing school environment?

Wow, what is up with you undermining a parent's decision about who needs to know what about their kid? Teachers are not parents. You seem to have this naive and invasive belief that the public school system is a coparent.

The fact is children bring EVERYTHING they experience and do into the classroom. Your mentality that what happens outside of school stays outside of school is just naive.
Classroom teachers are entrusted with not only the academic but the social, emotional development of children. We should be a team, not engaged in an adversarial relationship.

The more you push on this the more creeped out I am about your lack of boundaries. You are not a coparent. Do you also think you have the right to decide on my kid's diet, bedtime, and religion?

I was the PP, but it was my first post-thanks.

Parent and educator

PS thanks for helping me understand why my job has gotten so difficult in recent years and why teacher burnout rates are SO high.

Maybe you burn out because you don't understand the limits of what your job is? You are a teacher and your job is to teach. A child's social and emotional wellbeing is actually the responsibility of the parent ultimately. I think you will find that if you approach parents with respect and professionalism you will get all the information you need.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with kid seeing SLP.

1) This happens after school. 2) Obviously don't tell child not to say anything. It's like soccer practice to him--something he does after school. 3) Not for speech but for language and, no, apart from the kindergarten teacher who alerted me to a possible problem, which I took immediate steps to address outside the school system, teachers haven't caught on there is a language issue. If they had, I'd have been more than happy to discuss and describe what we are doing to address it.

So much for knowing my kid so well and caring so much.

You seem so angry. Why not homeschool or look for a more nurturing school environment?

Wow, what is up with you undermining a parent's decision about who needs to know what about their kid? Teachers are not parents. You seem to have this naive and invasive belief that the public school system is a coparent.

The fact is children bring EVERYTHING they experience and do into the classroom. Your mentality that what happens outside of school stays outside of school is just naive.
Classroom teachers are entrusted with not only the academic but the social, emotional development of children. We should be a team, not engaged in an adversarial relationship.

The more you push on this the more creeped out I am about your lack of boundaries. You are not a coparent. Do you also think you have the right to decide on my kid's diet, bedtime, and religion?

I was the PP, but it was my first post-thanks.

Parent and educator

PS thanks for helping me understand why my job has gotten so difficult in recent years and why teacher burnout rates are SO high.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with kid seeing SLP.

1) This happens after school. 2) Obviously don't tell child not to say anything. It's like soccer practice to him--something he does after school. 3) Not for speech but for language and, no, apart from the kindergarten teacher who alerted me to a possible problem, which I took immediate steps to address outside the school system, teachers haven't caught on there is a language issue. If they had, I'd have been more than happy to discuss and describe what we are doing to address it.

So much for knowing my kid so well and caring so much.

You seem so angry. Why not homeschool or look for a more nurturing school environment?

Wow, what is up with you undermining a parent's decision about who needs to know what about their kid? Teachers are not parents. You seem to have this naive and invasive belief that the public school system is a coparent.

The fact is children bring EVERYTHING they experience and do into the classroom. Your mentality that what happens outside of school stays outside of school is just naive.
Classroom teachers are entrusted with not only the academic but the social, emotional development of children. We should be a team, not engaged in an adversarial relationship.

The more you push on this the more creeped out I am about your lack of boundaries. You are not a coparent. Do you also think you have the right to decide on my kid's diet, bedtime, and religion?

+1 I really think this OP may be a young, relatively inexperienced, new teacher who just may be a little over-zealous. OP, over time, I think you will calm down a bit. (I hope!) Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with kid seeing SLP.

1) This happens after school. 2) Obviously don't tell child not to say anything. It's like soccer practice to him--something he does after school. 3) Not for speech but for language and, no, apart from the kindergarten teacher who alerted me to a possible problem, which I took immediate steps to address outside the school system, teachers haven't caught on there is a language issue. If they had, I'd have been more than happy to discuss and describe what we are doing to address it.

So much for knowing my kid so well and caring so much.

You seem so angry. Why not homeschool or look for a more nurturing school environment?

Wow, what is up with you undermining a parent's decision about who needs to know what about their kid? Teachers are not parents. You seem to have this naive and invasive belief that the public school system is a coparent.

The fact is children bring EVERYTHING they experience and do into the classroom. Your mentality that what happens outside of school stays outside of school is just naive.
Classroom teachers are entrusted with not only the academic but the social, emotional development of children. We should be a team, not engaged in an adversarial relationship.

The more you push on this the more creeped out I am about your lack of boundaries. You are not a coparent. Do you also think you have the right to decide on my kid's diet, bedtime, and religion?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with kid seeing SLP.

1) This happens after school. 2) Obviously don't tell child not to say anything. It's like soccer practice to him--something he does after school. 3) Not for speech but for language and, no, apart from the kindergarten teacher who alerted me to a possible problem, which I took immediate steps to address outside the school system, teachers haven't caught on there is a language issue. If they had, I'd have been more than happy to discuss and describe what we are doing to address it.

So much for knowing my kid so well and caring so much.

You seem so angry. Why not homeschool or look for a more nurturing school environment?

Wow, what is up with you undermining a parent's decision about who needs to know what about their kid? Teachers are not parents. You seem to have this naive and invasive belief that the public school system is a coparent.

The fact is children bring EVERYTHING they experience and do into the classroom. Your mentality that what happens outside of school stays outside of school is just naive.
Classroom teachers are entrusted with not only the academic but the social, emotional development of children. We should be a team, not engaged in an adversarial relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with kid seeing SLP.

1) This happens after school. 2) Obviously don't tell child not to say anything. It's like soccer practice to him--something he does after school. 3) Not for speech but for language and, no, apart from the kindergarten teacher who alerted me to a possible problem, which I took immediate steps to address outside the school system, teachers haven't caught on there is a language issue. If they had, I'd have been more than happy to discuss and describe what we are doing to address it.

So much for knowing my kid so well and caring so much.

You seem so angry. Why not homeschool or look for a more nurturing school environment?

Wow, what is up with you undermining a parent's decision about who needs to know what about their kid? Teachers are not parents. You seem to have this naive and invasive belief that the public school system is a coparent.

Ever heard of the phrase "in loco parentis" - I was taught this in 8th grade in public school. It means, if you don't know Latin, that the school functions as the parent in the absence of the parents, during the school day.

Ha ha no that does not mean the school has the right to all the information the parent might have. The parent is the parent. In loco parentis, legally speaking, give a very limited set of rights and duties to schools that is nothing like parental rights.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with kid seeing SLP.

1) This happens after school. 2) Obviously don't tell child not to say anything. It's like soccer practice to him--something he does after school. 3) Not for speech but for language and, no, apart from the kindergarten teacher who alerted me to a possible problem, which I took immediate steps to address outside the school system, teachers haven't caught on there is a language issue. If they had, I'd have been more than happy to discuss and describe what we are doing to address it.

So much for knowing my kid so well and caring so much.

You seem so angry. Why not homeschool or look for a more nurturing school environment?

Wow, what is up with you undermining a parent's decision about who needs to know what about their kid? Teachers are not parents. You seem to have this naive and invasive belief that the public school system is a coparent.

Ever heard of the phrase "in loco parentis" - I was taught this in 8th grade in public school. It means, if you don't know Latin, that the school functions as the parent in the absence of the parents, during the school day.

I am pretty sure most people here have heard this term.

How old are you? You seem young.

OP, you sound a little adversarial and accusatory in your approach. I don't know if this is how you are in real life, but it may be contributing to the very "problem" you are trying to get to the bottom to. Apparently, you see many parents as not acting in their children's best interests and/or making poor decisions? That right there would immediately get my ire up.

OP, do you have kids yet? You seem like your only experience with this is from a teacher perspective, not a parent perspective.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with kid seeing SLP.

1) This happens after school. 2) Obviously don't tell child not to say anything. It's like soccer practice to him--something he does after school. 3) Not for speech but for language and, no, apart from the kindergarten teacher who alerted me to a possible problem, which I took immediate steps to address outside the school system, teachers haven't caught on there is a language issue. If they had, I'd have been more than happy to discuss and describe what we are doing to address it.

So much for knowing my kid so well and caring so much.

You seem so angry. Why not homeschool or look for a more nurturing school environment?

Wow, what is up with you undermining a parent's decision about who needs to know what about their kid? Teachers are not parents. You seem to have this naive and invasive belief that the public school system is a coparent.

Ever heard of the phrase "in loco parentis" - I was taught this in 8th grade in public school. It means, if you don't know Latin, that the school functions as the parent in the absence of the parents, during the school day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with kid seeing SLP.

1) This happens after school. 2) Obviously don't tell child not to say anything. It's like soccer practice to him--something he does after school. 3) Not for speech but for language and, no, apart from the kindergarten teacher who alerted me to a possible problem, which I took immediate steps to address outside the school system, teachers haven't caught on there is a language issue. If they had, I'd have been more than happy to discuss and describe what we are doing to address it.

So much for knowing my kid so well and caring so much.

You seem so angry. Why not homeschool or look for a more nurturing school environment?

Wow, what is up with you undermining a parent's decision about who needs to know what about their kid? Teachers are not parents. You seem to have this naive and invasive belief that the public school system is a coparent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP with kid seeing SLP.

1) This happens after school. 2) Obviously don't tell child not to say anything. It's like soccer practice to him--something he does after school. 3) Not for speech but for language and, no, apart from the kindergarten teacher who alerted me to a possible problem, which I took immediate steps to address outside the school system, teachers haven't caught on there is a language issue. If they had, I'd have been more than happy to discuss and describe what we are doing to address it.

So much for knowing my kid so well and caring so much.

You seem so angry. Why not homeschool or look for a more nurturing school environment?

I don't think she seems angry. I think she is pointing out the facts to you. While the teacher does have the child in his/her class for 6-7 hours a day for approx. 9 months, the parent still knows more than the teacher, the history, etc.

Anonymous wrote:PP with kid seeing SLP.

1) This happens after school. 2) Obviously don't tell child not to say anything. It's like soccer practice to him--something he does after school. 3) Not for speech but for language and, no, apart from the kindergarten teacher who alerted me to a possible problem, which I took immediate steps to address outside the school system, teachers haven't caught on there is a language issue. If they had, I'd have been more than happy to discuss and describe what we are doing to address it.

So much for knowing my kid so well and caring so much.

+1