OP, I mean this in the nicest way-Please stop calling your child violent. Yes, he's reacting aggressively because of stress or anxiety or whatever the reason may be but that's not the same at all as a child who willfully hits others at random because it's fun or because he wants to feel in control like a bully.

You should also stop thinking of him as having a mental illness in the traditional sense. He has neurodevelopmental disorders that impact how he thinks so the world around him is confusing and he's reacting physically because this is the only way he knows how.

You mentioned that after he was told he would miss a big school event he lashed out even more. This seems like a clear sign that he's angry with what's been going on at the school or himself and that cannot feel good.




+1

I am the pp who has an 8 yr old with ASD/ADHD who went through something similar last year in 2nd grade. Your child is Not being "violent" on purpose but basically freaking out and lashing out bc there is something "off" at school.

Please be careful with language.

Stop. While the cause of the behavior isn't willful, it results in violent behavior. Violence is a the physical expression of aggression and it sounds like that what OP's DS is - violent. Using euphemisms downplays the seriousness of the issue and certainly diminishes the impact on his victims.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also to the PP who says kids with anxiety shouldn't be on stimulants - you are wrong and should not give out medical advice. My child has both ADHD and anxiety and is taking meds for both. If you give her the anti-anxiety meds but forget the Concerta - watch out. Her behavior spikes and she feels WORSE about herself, which makes the anxiety worse.

According to her psych, plenty of kids need a combo of both types of meds. In our case, it's clonidine and concerta that are helping her be successful at home and at school.

I agree we should not give advice and we need to watch our wording, but I do think it is important to say "look into this." I'm glad to hear Adderall worked for your child. Yes, some drugs work well together and sometimes it is hard to find the right "cocktail" as a psychiatrist we met once said. The thing is Adderall can also exacerbate the aggressive behavior and OP might not have been told that. Too often parents are not given enough info about side effects and are just left to try to read the very tiny print. Also, Adderall is a highly regulated drug for a reason and insurance companies are paying much closer attention to it and in some cases they are making it harder to get the prescription covered. You have to get yearly clearance from your provider and the government and you must see your provider a certain number of times a year.

Risperdal is a very powerful drug. While not regulated the way Adderall is, it can have some pretty serious side effects. It is life changing for some in a good way. The thing is it is often tried after other meds are tried and not as the go to drug for children with extreme anxiety. I believe it's an antipsychotic. I don't recall how much research has been done on children with this drug.

+1

Risperdal and the other atypical antipsychotics can be very helpful, but there is a CUMULATIVE risk of an irreversible movement disorder, tardive dyskinesia. They should not be thought of as a long term solution.

Anonymous wrote:Also to the PP who says kids with anxiety shouldn't be on stimulants - you are wrong and should not give out medical advice. My child has both ADHD and anxiety and is taking meds for both. If you give her the anti-anxiety meds but forget the Concerta - watch out. Her behavior spikes and she feels WORSE about herself, which makes the anxiety worse.

According to her psych, plenty of kids need a combo of both types of meds. In our case, it's clonidine and concerta that are helping her be successful at home and at school.

I agree we should not give advice and we need to watch our wording, but I do think it is important to say "look into this." I'm glad to hear Adderall worked for your child. Yes, some drugs work well together and sometimes it is hard to find the right "cocktail" as a psychiatrist we met once said. The thing is Adderall can also exacerbate the aggressive behavior and OP might not have been told that. Too often parents are not given enough info about side effects and are just left to try to read the very tiny print. Also, Adderall is a highly regulated drug for a reason and insurance companies are paying much closer attention to it and in some cases they are making it harder to get the prescription covered. You have to get yearly clearance from your provider and the government and you must see your provider a certain number of times a year.

Risperdal is a very powerful drug. While not regulated the way Adderall is, it can have some pretty serious side effects. It is life changing for some in a good way. The thing is it is often tried after other meds are tried and not as the go to drug for children with extreme anxiety. I believe it's an antipsychotic. I don't recall how much research has been done on children with this drug.

Anonymous wrote:
I am the pp who has an 8 yr old with ASD/ADHD who went through something similar last year in 2nd grade. Your child is Not being "violent" on purpose but basically freaking out and lashing out bc there is something "off" at school.

Please be careful with language.

My DS is not in AAP but in a language immersion program since prek4. It is possible to get the right supports and have your child thrive but you have to have the school team on your side.

Start with the FBA. Why is your school suspending your DS when his behavior is clearly due to his disability? And the behaviors are obviously out of his control and the suspensions make absolutely zero difference in his behavior. My child was never suspended not once.

1. See how the FBA and behavioral intervention plan work. I can't believe they suspended your DS that many times and it is now November. It really sounds like the school does not want him there. Hire an advocate. At the very least, they should stop the suspensions and get your child more IEP hours or even an aide until these issues are sorted out.

2. Why is he on the Risperadol? What is it suppose to do for him? Adderall should not be given to someone with anxiety. His meds need to be changed. You may want to call up the Ross Center and see Dr Daniel Pine who works with kids with anxiety disorders.

My child is on Focalin XR for his ADHD, combined type, but I actually prefer him off. It makes him weepy and emotional which he normally never is. My DS does not have an anxiety disorder but I can see how a stimulant will make any anxiety issues worse.

3. Get a new neuropsych. The wait to see Dr. Black will be long at least 6 months but it sounds like you need an expert. It will be worth it.

Hang in there! It can get better.

OP, There is a lot of good advice here but this is one of the most important posts so I wanted to highlight and add to what this PP said.

The main thing is that you need to recognize YOU ARE NOT AT A GOOD SCHOOL. Your school is not being supportive. Your school does not want to help and they are just building a case to get your son out of there. A good school would never repeatedly suspend a child this age with a known disability without throwing every type of intervention at him first. It's unfathomable that they have not put a BIP into place and are dragging their feet. You should be meeting with them every time there is an incident and trying to figure out next steps. They should have contacted the county's central office to request that a behaviorist come and observe your son. You cannot just keep sending him back there hoping he magically changes. He's awfully young and is probably angry and terrified of what's going on. The school needs to make changes in their supports and how they work with your son. The IEP is clearly inadequate.

Please stop putting this all on your son. It's great that you recognize he has a lot of challenges and it's possible he may need a self-contained classroom or a SN school but I don't think you have information yet. You need to get him to an environment where they are actually working with you to put the right supports into place and to decide after that whether he needs more help than they can give him in a mainstream school.

If you want to keep your son there despite all signs pointing to the fact that this school administration stinks, I would 1. call the county and get their oversight and 2. get an outside observer in there right away to figure out what is going on. It could be an advocate but it could could be a psychologist, behavioral specialist, etc. or someone else you trust. But if I were you I would move him back to his base school where he seems to have been relatively happy.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I mean this in the nicest way-Please stop calling your child violent. Yes, he's reacting aggressively because of stress or anxiety or whatever the reason may be but that's not the same at all as a child who willfully hits others at random because it's fun or because he wants to feel in control like a bully.

You should also stop thinking of him as having a mental illness in the traditional sense. He has neurodevelopmental disorders that impact how he thinks so the world around him is confusing and he's reacting physically because this is the only way he knows how.

You mentioned that after he was told he would miss a big school event he lashed out even more. This seems like a clear sign that he's angry with what's been going on at the school or himself and that cannot feel good.

+ a million