OP, $ don't buy no happiness!

I'd be annoyed too OP. You were hoping this degree would lead to life being a little easier in the future. Nothing wrong with that.

OP, you sound like my dad (with some key variations, of course) on one of his disappointed rants about how I'm "just a teacher"... Now I'm feeling sad again.

I'd like to know the exact amount of "zillions of dollars" -- seems OP has a penchant for exaggeration.

It seems that OP values the net financial contribution more than the personal contribution to the relationship/family. It's one thing to say you are feeling stressed about always being tight on money. It's quite another thing to specifically blame your husband for your unhappiness. The latter is very dangerous. He hasn't gambled away your family money. He hasn't put himself in jail by doing something stupid. He hasn't put you all in debt with a prostitute habit. He simply works in a job that pays $X, and brings it home for the family. Maybe he could have done that in a less expensive way.... maybe YOU, OP, could buy less expensive shoes, or picked a less expensive coat, or driven a less expensive car. Even if he agreed with you that going to X school wasn't "the best" decision in hindsight, it wasn't a completely terrible decision... it's shades of gray.

Any degree would have cost $$. A state univ. would have cost X, and his (or your joint choice) cost $$. Sometimes you get a big fat return on your investment, sometimes, you just get a return.

You (jointly) ARE getting a return on the investment.

It seems like your arguing that he should have invested in X stock b/c it went through the roof and you're mad that DH invested in Y stock -- which has a less impressive return, but still a return. That's why you sound like a complainer who isn't seeing your "half full." Life's a gamble.... you are already winning, but you are convinced that you're losing.

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that the DH is in the govt making 110-150, which in addition to her salary affords them a perfectly nice middle class life. Yet now that the kids are getting older, college is looming, and she wants to consider private school - she's realizing it isn't all that easy and would be much easier if her DH would bring home 250k+ by himself like so many of his classmates.

In general I agree w DH - you got the damn degree that she helped pay for, now use it. Doesn't matter if it won't make happy to be in the rat race - he can deal for 10 yrs, sock away cash and then go back to his cushy job. And yes I'd say the same if the situation was reversed and it was the wife wasting away earnings potential; I know of a similar situation where the wife is an MD and just does not want to work - she barely wants to work part time and wants the DH to provide, which he does yet just given their career choices, he doesn't have the same earnings potential in engineering that she does in medicine.

Meant that I agree w the OP.

My guess is that the DH is in the govt making 110-150, which in addition to her salary affords them a perfectly nice middle class life. Yet now that the kids are getting older, college is looming, and she wants to consider private school - she's realizing it isn't all that easy and would be much easier if her DH would bring home 250k+ by himself like so many of his classmates.

In general I agree w DH - you got the damn degree that she helped pay for, now use it. Doesn't matter if it won't make happy to be in the rat race - he can deal for 10 yrs, sock away cash and then go back to his cushy job. And yes I'd say the same if the situation was reversed and it was the wife wasting away earnings potential; I know of a similar situation where the wife is an MD and just does not want to work - she barely wants to work part time and wants the DH to provide, which he does yet just given their career choices, he doesn't have the same earnings potential in engineering that she does in medicine.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP why don't you tell us how much each of you makes?

OP also has not said whether she and DH made the decision together for DH to spend a lot on education or whether DH was already on that path when she met him.

She clarified at 13:31 that she moved and lost educational opportunities for this degree, and decided together to pay "zillions of dollars"

I'm still interested in how much they make. Huge difference if he's making $30K or if he's making $150K.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP why don't you tell us how much each of you makes?

OP also has not said whether she and DH made the decision together for DH to spend a lot on education or whether DH was already on that path when she met him.

She clarified at 13:31 that she moved and lost educational opportunities for this degree, and decided together to pay "zillions of dollars"

Anonymous wrote:OP why don't you tell us how much each of you makes?

OP also has not said whether she and DH made the decision together for DH to spend a lot on education or whether DH was already on that path when she met him.

OP why don't you tell us how much each of you makes?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you want more money, go out and make more yourself. Having an Ivy league education does not obligate anyone to chase the big $$$$$.

Amen.

if he is doing work he enjoys and is a good husband and father, then your post is pathetic and sad ...

at least you may now admit how craven and shallow your priorities are given your bitterness, but, wow ...

BTW I also have a similar background (Top 5 LAC undergrad degree, Top 20 law school) and spent most of a 33 yr. career in public service, which IMO /IME was far more interesting than the BigLaw, big money high-priced-wage-slave rat race treadmill.

p.s. your presumption defining "never lived up to the potential" as solely meaning not making a lot of money is ignorant and offensive on multiple levels ...

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you want more money, go out and make more yourself. Having an Ivy league education does not obligate anyone to chase the big $$$$$.

Amen.

if he is doing work he enjoys and is a good husband and father, then your post is pathetic and sad ...

at least you may now admit how craven and shallow your priorities are given your bitterness, but, wow ...

BTW I also have a similar background (Top 5 LAC undergrad degree, Top 20 law school) and spent most of a 33 yr. career in public service, which IMO /IME was far more interesting than the BigLaw, big money high-priced-wage-slave rat race treadmill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ yes but that is in today's market. would not have been the case 20 years ago for OP's DH.

Please. The government is filled with law firm strike-outs.

And, conversely, it is also filled with high performing lawyers who choose to stay -- I saw many resumes from law-firm associates, senior associates, and even some partners who wanted out of law firms but they weren't qualified at the high level of specialized work and experience we sought. Park your presumptions and stereotypes, they can make you look foolish.

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you want more money, go out and make more yourself. Having an Ivy league education does not obligate anyone to chase the big $$$$$.

+1