Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't think we would make the move unless he could delay moving until I finish my project. I've actually been at my current job for 10 years, but just moved into this position recently. It would not be good to bail on this project-- would definitely burn bridges. I could also pitch doing my job remotely, which is not going to be easy.

We've both been to Chicago many times and do love the city, but not the winters. We've lived in cold places before and it sucks.

I'm also worried about living in the 'burbs and having an hour+ commute.

It also seems daunting to start over in a new city at this stage.

YOU stay here while you finish your project, he moves whenever he needs to. You and the kids join him when you are ready. If it’s less than a year what is the problem?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't think we would make the move unless he could delay moving until I finish my project. I've actually been at my current job for 10 years, but just moved into this position recently. It would not be good to bail on this project-- would definitely burn bridges. I could also pitch doing my job remotely, which is not going to be easy.

I think that the advantage of moving to Chicago is that you'd end up in a city with a more diverse economy.

The disadvantage, if you're moving there without knowing anyone, is that people there might be a little more insular, in some ways, than in Washington.

A lot of people are born in the Chicago area, grow up there, stay there, and can't imagine that much worth knowing about exists anywhere else in the world.

That’s not the case at all- people from a Chicago have transplanted all over the country. I’m in LA- full of Chicago transplants for example. I grew up in Chicago and only a small percentage of my friends growing up have remained.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I don't think we would make the move unless he could delay moving until I finish my project. I've actually been at my current job for 10 years, but just moved into this position recently. It would not be good to bail on this project-- would definitely burn bridges. I could also pitch doing my job remotely, which is not going to be easy.

I think that the advantage of moving to Chicago is that you'd end up in a city with a more diverse economy.

The disadvantage, if you're moving there without knowing anyone, is that people there might be a little more insular, in some ways, than in Washington.

A lot of people are born in the Chicago area, grow up there, stay there, and can't imagine that much worth knowing about exists anywhere else in the world.

I lived in DC for 8 years, moved to Chicago for 2, and realized I had made a huge mistake and came back to DC. I'm not posting this to bash on Chicago at all but I wanted to share my perspective in case it's helpful. Honestly mileage varies for everyone, clearly there are a TON of people who are or would be happier in Chicago. But for my part, DC is a million times higher QOL. Some reasons:

1. the winters were so much worse than I imagined - it's not that January is cold (it is), it's that MAY is still miserable. I am nearly positive I had SAD. I would wake up and look outside at the cold dreary weather and actually fight back tears.

2. like you, I have a kid. Something people love about Chicago is all the bars and restaurants and sure, they're great. But they're not THAT great and also, I don't go out that much, so DC has more than enough variety to keep me happy.

3. I know some people here are saying the people in Chicago are nicer and maybe that's true but as a non-Midwesterner, I felt so out of place. I've lived in tons of cities (and I'm from the West and moved to DC) so it's not like I don't know how to assimilate to different groups, for some reason I found the Midwestern vibe really intense and impenetrable.

4. Chicago is BIG and by that I mean it spreads out for miles in every direction. I think I spent more time in an Uber in Chicago in 2 years than I did in 8 years in DC. It's just, totally normal to take a cab ride 45 minutes to go somewhere. Once my DD outgrew an infant bucket seat and we suddenly had to start driving everywhere, I quickly tired of it.

5. Chicago is an oasis in the middle of nowhere. In DC we had a regular habit of weekend day trips or overnights to Shenandoah, Chesapeake Bay; or to visit family/friends in Baltimore or Philly. We really struggled to continue this habit in Chicago. We had a few long weekends on lakes in Michigan and those were great, but the car distance was too far to make a habit of it.


Of course there's a million things to love about Chicago but personally, all of these added up to a pretty low quality of life. Maybe I'm to blame for not really trying, but within 2 years I was back in DC.

^^Oh I am also the PP who mentioned how convenient it is that Chicago is an airport hub. Really is super easy and usually reasonably cheap to visit my parents.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the odes to Chicago but honestly, if we moved, we'd be a family of 4 with two small kids. We aren't going to be having regular meals at the chic restaurants, nor going to baseball/football/baskeball games, etc. Personally, I know 2-3 friends who LEFT Chicago for other places for lower-key pace of life. They lived in the city, but once they had 2+ kids, didn't want to deal with city living and schools and didn't want to start over moving to the 'burbs. I would love to hear from people with families talk about family life in Chicago.

Right now, we have a decent lifestyle by DC standards. I don't need a bigger house (we bought 10+ years ago and have re-fi'ed), our kid(s) are in very good JLKM schools, we have an easy 20-40 min commute to work. So most of the reasons people have for fleeing DC don't apply to us.

I'm 30, and ~20 years ago my parents were faced with the same choice you are making. We had a good life in NW DC, we were in a good JKLM school, generally happy with life, my parents had short commutes, etc. but my dad got the opportunity to transition from working in the government to working in private practice which he really wanted to do. Added to our situation, my dad's family is all in the Chicago area, which was a plus (although my mom grew up in the DC area, so we were already near one set of grandparents). They made the decision to move, and my parents love Chicago.

We grew up in Wilmette, which is not a crazy commute downtown, especially by Metra. It has access to both the Metra and the El, an excellent public school system, and it is pretty and leafy with a park district that has a lot of well organized activities. We did get the opportunity to take advantage of some of the cultural opportunities growing up (art institute, the aquarium, etc.) although we were the sort of family that generally did that because we spent a ton of time at the Smithsonian in DC. There are various issues with living in an affluent suburb that would happen in any metro area in the US, but it was a perfectly lovely, safe place to grow up. When I was a teenager, I really appreciated access to public transit so that I could escape suburbia (although frankly, we were 15 miles from downtown and less than 5 miles from the city limits, so it wasn't the desperate deep suburbia I thought as a dramatic teenager). Evanston and Oak Park are often considered good options if you want a more urban suburb with a shorter commute, but don't want to deal with the hassle of city schools. Like other cities, people move to the suburbs when they don't want to deal with the hassle of navigating an urban public school system after elementary school with the choice of evaluating a very small number of potentially acceptable open enrollment high schools, navigating test-in magnet programs, or deciding if private school is in the budget.

There are plenty of nice neighborhoods in the city and in suburbs to raise a family in Chicago, and a lot of cultural benefits to being in a big, vibrant city. But, DC is also great. I think you could have a good life in either place (we certainly did!). This decision for you really comes down to balancing the professional goals of you and DH.

The cold is indeed brutal, and I try to avoid living in the Midwest and Northeast for this reason. But, you buy the appropriate clothes and keep on with life. There are a lot of cities people move to where winter sucks (New York, Boston...)

Now my parents are empty nesters, they spend a ton of time going to chic restaurants, cool art shows, cubs games, sailing their little sailboat on Lake Michigan, and enjoying all the stuff that seems irrelevant to your life situation right now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every single thing about Chicago is better than DC.

I honestly cannot think of one area where DC beats Chicago.

Chicago native in DC here who loves loves loves Chicago, but just does not agree with that statement.

One thing that hasn't been previously mentioned is DC's proximity to other major cities / points of interest. I can drive an hour or two out of DC and be in somewhere completely topographically different for wine tasting or good hiking or a beach. Drive one to two hours out of Chicago and what do you get? Milwaukee? 4 hours out of DC and you have New York for a weekend getaway. The proximity to other places is a real draw for me.

But on the other hand Chicago is such an airport hub that is is easy and cheap to get anywhere from Chicago. My parents live in Chicago (I grew up there) and no matter where DH and I have moved (we've been in the Bay Area, Texas, and Tennessee), it has always been no problem to get reasonable direct flights there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The weather is absolutely brutal in Chicago many months of the year. I wouldn't move. I like someone's idea for your dh to commute.

LOL Oh please - it is not that bad, Princess. You bundle up.

Oh seriously. I hate all the OMG The Weather! hysteria. Wear a damn coat.

I've lived in both DC and Chicago and despite the long winters I'd take Chicago any day of the week. The city is fabulous from May through October - no city like it in the US. People flock to the city in the summer while people escape just about every other city. There are great suburbs and if you work in the city near one of the train stations its not a bad commute - just don't drive in. Towns like Lake Forest are beautiful with great schools. Housing prices are much lower than in DC and Lake Forest prices are still well below where they were pre-recession. Yes, it takes awhile to get use to the long winters but most people who relo to Chicago end up not wanting to leave.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the odes to Chicago but honestly, if we moved, we'd be a family of 4 with two small kids. We aren't going to be having regular meals at the chic restaurants, nor going to baseball/football/baskeball games, etc. Personally, I know 2-3 friends who LEFT Chicago for other places for lower-key pace of life. They lived in the city, but once they had 2+ kids, didn't want to deal with city living and schools and didn't want to start over moving to the 'burbs. I would love to hear from people with families talk about family life in Chicago.

Right now, we have a decent lifestyle by DC standards. I don't need a bigger house (we bought 10+ years ago and have re-fi'ed), our kid(s) are in very good JLKM schools, we have an easy 20-40 min commute to work. So most of the reasons people have for fleeing DC don't apply to us.

I can tell you that when I lived in Chicago with my toddlers, all I could do with them in the winter is bundle them up and run as fast as I could with them in the stroller towards the nearest bookstore/cafe on the weekend just so that I am not stuck at home with them all day. That's how cold it gets - you don't walk, you RUN. I don't miss it.

This thread is from two years ago. OP has probably made up her mind.

I have lived in several cities but the people in Chicago are the friendliest. It's a world class city- truly cosmopolitan. The north shore suburbs are beautiful- but its expensive to live there. Housing in the city is much more affordable than DC. Now I love DC too but it's very different- kinda hard to compare.

Anonymous wrote:I would live in the city. Chicago is such a great town! Best food in the world and so beautiful.

But if you have to live in the suburbs, my vote goes for Lake Forest as well. I was born and raised there and it is a great place to be a kid. Beautiful lakefront parks, great schools, bike paths and a cute little town square.

I agree Lake Forest is gorgeous but it is far from downtown- something to consider.

Anonymous wrote:Every single thing about Chicago is better than DC.

I honestly cannot think of one area where DC beats Chicago.

np. How about the fact that op's dream job is here? Why should she have to give up her job?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:9:40 I think the COL is lower in Chicago than DC, especially when you do an apples to apples comparison of neighborhoods/suburbs.

Housing is SO MUCH CHEAPER in Chicago than DC. My parents in DC like to debate me on this point, but it's ridiculous. My friends live in a trendy Chicago neighborhood brownstone, 3br and 3 ba for $600,000. WITH A GARAGE AND BASEMENT. Come on. A million bucks in DMV will buy you a shack.

Okay, but if you want to buy in the north shore, you will pay a million dollars for a pretty nice house, along with a 20-30k tax bill every year. Sounds a lot like DC suburbs, doesn't it!

zI was going go add, housing tends to be less for what you get, but taxes or super high.