If you have an engagement ring, but don't wear it, why not, once your children are past the age of being scratched by it? If you're going to have one at all, it seems silly to own a fine piece of jewelry and never wear it. Same (but on a less expensive level) with fine china- what's the point of it sitting in the china cabinet?

Anonymous wrote:To the women that don't wear a ring at all, aren't you worried about being hit on? Most men look at the ring finger first. I get not wearing a diamond in some circumstances, but give the men an idea by looking if you are potentially available or not.

LOL. No. This is not even in my list of top 1000 concerns in life.

To the women that don't wear a ring at all, aren't you worried about being hit on? Most men look at the ring finger first. I get not wearing a diamond in some circumstances, but give the men an idea by looking if you are potentially available or not.

Anonymous wrote:Good grief, what a waste of money. My ring was like $3k twenty years ago. I haven't even bothered to wear it in years. Even that $3k seems foolish now.

+1! Almost exactly the same price, and I love the ring, but it came off when I was breastfeeding because it could scratch the baby and now I only wear it on special occasions. Sure it's a sign that "You're very much in LOVE," but that kind of love shouldn't cost as much as a down payment on a house!

If she really loves you, she'll be happy with a reasonably priced ring that shows that you have a future together in mind.

OP here. Sorry for the absence. I want to fully address some of the replies and suggestions.

First, I am not getting her a fake diamond. That's really tacky.
Second, I already own a home. I'm not rich but I've saved a lot and can afford a nice lifestyle. I have no debt expect a mortgage. I'm mid-30's and comfortable spending up to 50k.

I know my girl. She sing materialistic but I know she would love a nice ring. My sister and her have become close. My girlfriend told her she loves Asscher cut rings which are more expensive than the traditional cut. I want to get her a nice ring that she will love. We have been together for two years and have home through tough times. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I plan to propose in October and ask her to move in with me.

Anonymous wrote:The general rule of thumb is 2-3 months salary

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No, the marketing con job promoted by DeBeers was only 2 month's of salary (nice that a diamond mining company gets to decide how much of your salary you need to give them). The rest is just inflation creep, which is utterly insane.

but I've seen stories of men paying $ 75 - 100k for a ring. My girl deserves the best but has unique tastes. She prefers cushion or Asscher cut instead of princess or round. I can't afford to spend 75+ on a ring. I'm more in the $20 - 50k range.

This is also total stupidity all around. Please take a look at the poor schmoes on Craigslist trying to sell engagement rings. Please ask the jeweler how much of a refund you get if the ring needs to go back. You will be very very very very lucky to get 50% back.

Please have a look at this [url http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2014/10/10/big-engagement-rings-divorce-rates_n_5965234.html]story about a study linking a higher divorce rate to the higher ring price[/url]

I bought an extraordinarily nice diamond - used - from a woman on CL who was getting divorced after just two years. 1.2c stone I picked up for about 40% of what the same stone would have cost me new. I then had it set in a custom setting - not some mass produced "Jared" or "Zales" or "Kay" machine made ring - for under a couple of grand. Paid <$10k altogether for something that would have been >$20k if I'd listened to a jeweller. Honestly, I nearly talked to her about a moissanette or CZ. I would, at the very least, look into the option of "artisanal" custom jewelry and "used" stones.

that is, unless you just want to give a corporate chain store ten grand.

I spent 7k and it is a fabulous 1k near perfect stone. I suppose if you are insanely rich and 50k is meaningless, sure, buy whatever you want. Most men I know spent between 2-10k

OP, if you spent $20-$50k on an engagement ring for me, I'd have to reject your proposal.

Seriously, that is the very definition of insanity.

I knew your inquiry would bring to tons of judgy condescending replies lol

Your range is huge and spans $30k, that strikes me as odd. Might as well really hone in on what you want to spend and work from there. If you go to a jeweler with your current figures, you'll walk out with a $55k ring.

Similarly, DH told me to ignore the 2-3 month rule because he wouldn't have wanted me to spend that much money just because I thought I could. Finding a stone and setting I liked was more important than "trying to hit" $75k. The ring I chose was $30k and it's not huge but It's the ring of my dreams.

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Anonymous wrote:The biggest issue you will have is finding a quality diamond in those cuts. I wanted a cushion cut, but there was virtually nothing to choose from that was a quality diamond. I ended up with a really high quality round diamond instead.

Untrue. There are quality diamonds in those cuts but you are paying more. I bought my wife an Asscher cut diamond from Blue Nile. 2 carat, VVS2 clarity, D color, and excellent symmetry. I paid a little under 50k for the ring.

Op, go to Blue Nile. They have great quality diamonds in your price range. Congrats

My husband and I have a 2 carat gorgeous Asscher CZ (CZ's are not measured in carats but this is the equivalent) in a spectacular 18k rose gold setting. Total cost 4k. Not a soul can tell.

Rest of the money paid off my student loan. Best decision I ever made.

2 cte and rose gold. *shivers*

That's rude.

I personally feel like ostentatious jewelry is incredibly gauche and new-money. The best people pass down rings.

This conversation is just too funny. Thanks for the giggle.

I know a lot of WASPy women and its true-no one wears large diamond rings.

I know mostly SAHMs of little kids and they just wear the bands. I wear neither because my joints expanded when I was pregnant and now they don't fit.

The engagement ring can be pretty impractical if you spend your day changing diapers, getting dirty at the playground, cleaning bathrooms, etc. You all might live more glamorous lives!

OP - talk to her. Find out what she'd like. I'm in my mid 30s, dating a guy who is late 30s, and the conversation came up pretty quickly when some of our friends got engaged - it didn't make me scared thinking he was going to propose immediately, and it didn't make him scared thinking that's what I was gunning for.

If you don't know anyone getting engaged/married - make it up! Say someone at your office (who she doesn't know) just got engaged and women were talking about rings, and how someone said she wanted a Tiffany ring, or something specific, and see what she says. If you really don't want to talk to her, and you are absolutely set on proposing, try one of her best friends. I've helped 2 guys pick rings that weren't for me. Her friends will know what price range is normal for your circle, and also, her tastes.

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Anonymous wrote:The biggest issue you will have is finding a quality diamond in those cuts. I wanted a cushion cut, but there was virtually nothing to choose from that was a quality diamond. I ended up with a really high quality round diamond instead.

Untrue. There are quality diamonds in those cuts but you are paying more. I bought my wife an Asscher cut diamond from Blue Nile. 2 carat, VVS2 clarity, D color, and excellent symmetry. I paid a little under 50k for the ring.

Op, go to Blue Nile. They have great quality diamonds in your price range. Congrats

My husband and I have a 2 carat gorgeous Asscher CZ (CZ's are not measured in carats but this is the equivalent) in a spectacular 18k rose gold setting. Total cost 4k. Not a soul can tell.

Rest of the money paid off my student loan. Best decision I ever made.

2 cte and rose gold. *shivers*

That's rude.

I personally feel like ostentatious jewelry is incredibly gauche and new-money. The best people pass down rings.

This conversation is just too funny. Thanks for the giggle.

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Anonymous wrote:Really? What kind of circles do you run in? Most women I know don't even wear their engagement rings every day.

WTF? I've worn my engagement ring every day since DH proposed! What circles are you running with where ladies don't wear both the rings? That's uncommon

No. Most women I know just wear the wedding ring.