Eh, I leave my dogs only if I'm flying, and then they stay with family. Driving, they come. If not, I stay home, no hard feelings.

I love my dog so much it hurts, and I would allow other dogs as house guests only if they were not destructive. But I would never expect any of my non dog loving family to welcome her with open arms. She's my responsibility - not theirs.

Look, I love dogs. I was a dog owner previously, but I have not had a dog for many years because my wife is seriously allergic to most pet dander. She will be polite and put up with pets when we visit others, but she needs to be doped up on antihistimines and will often still have reactions for the next 12-24 hours after we leave a pet home.

That said, before I married, I still had a no pet rule as much because of the pet owners as the pets themselves. I find that pet owners who insist on traveling with their pets often have an unrealistic view of their pet. Their pet is better behavior, less intrusive and less of an issue in the owner's mind than in reality. Additionally, the pet owners who insist on treating their pets like their babies or who insist on traveling with their pets often are less restrictive on their pets than non pet owners are comfortable with, and they often don't really respect boundaries. I once had friends visit for one evening when they were traveling. I asked that they keep the dog in the kitchen and tried to put baby gates on the door, but the friends were aghast that I would do this; they said that their dog gets to roam freely in their home and that he wouldn't understand being limited to the kitchen. I insisted, but they acting offended and affronted the entire evening, they took turns staying in the kitchen keeping the dog company and cut the evening short because they had to take the dog away.

Anonymous wrote:They can bring the dogs, but they should stay at a hotel.

My ex's Mother once did this to us and it was a disaster. People who consider dogs family or people also have very poorly trained dogs. Eg sit on furniture, sleep on beds, even tore through our trash!

You hold your tongue. My 65 lb love muffin is a well behaved princess- though I would never push her on others!

I don't think the hotel idea will work. Would they be willing to leave their dogs at the hotel all day while they are at your house?

They can bring the dogs, but they should stay at a hotel.

My ex's Mother once did this to us and it was a disaster. People who consider dogs family or people also have very poorly trained dogs. Eg sit on furniture, sleep on beds, even tore through our trash!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we travel to our parents or siblings homes we bring our dog and they bring theirs. Same with out friends. I'm not sure id be offended but I probably wouldn't be able to visit if they didn't allow our dog. We do plan trips around the dog. Probably not what you want to hear. But I know we aren't unique.

We don't have children and we allow friends to bring theirs when they stay overnight. A toddler is insanely destructive but we couldn't really say no.

Why couldn't you visit without your dog?

We can't afford $40 a day for boarding, especially when it's our family who wants us to visit more. Our dog also has issues (seizures, etc) and gets very ill from being boarded. We have had a pet sitter come to our house, but it's even pricier.

We take the dog on "trips" but leave him with relatives (who live 2 hours away) for our 2 week vacation every year.

It's definitely tough with older or infirm animals. You do what you can.

Anonymous wrote:We have the easiest dog in the world and we love him as a family member. He's a certified therapy dog who is safe to visit hospitalized children and disoriented Alzheimer's patients, which I take him to do regularly. He is housebroken, doesn't bark, jump, or bite, is beloved by everyone who meets him, and will stay in a sit-stay away from non-dog people for as long as asked.

AND I would still never, EVER presume that he was welcome to someone else's house. When we receive an invite, if the person is close enough to us or I know they have their own dog or love dogs, I'll ask whether the invitation extends to my dog, reassuring them in the same breath that I completely understand if not.

Comparisons to kids just don't work, and that is not an insult to dogs. It's just life.

Sincerely, someone who refuses to be pigeon-holed as a crazy dog lady only because I am also a crazy cat lady, crazy horse lady, and general-purpose crazy lady.

I like you!

I love my dog, so much it hurts. But, totally say no OP. Completely out-of-line for ILs to expect you to deal with that. My dog is very well-behaved, and sheds, yes but not as much as you saying the IL's dogs do.

If it's going to make you nuts - shut it down.

Please know though, it would be incredibly gracious of you to offer to host them, and confine them to a few rooms if that's possible, or at least express regret that you just "don't think you can manage it all." Also, in the grand scheme, you may look back and realize it wasn't that big of a deal, but you need to be in the head space to allow it to not be a big deal. And i you aren't there, you aren't there. It's totally fine.