Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 16:35     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
Anonymous wrote:OP - feel like we're missing a lot of info here. Basically NONE of this makes sense. If she sent invites out a week after you told her about your business trip, the date was set long before that - or did she book a place, print and address invites all in that week? Some huge detail is missing here.


This. I'm pretty impressed however if she was able to do this all in a week. Took us more than 5 days to get our invitations printed! I can't tell if this is a troll, op Is leaving something out, or she's just dumb but it's basically impossible for someone to book a venue and send out invitations all in the span of a week
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 16:22     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
Anonymous wrote:Wait, so she has to plan her entire wedding around a day that works best for you!? You sent an immature email and you deserved the pissed if email she sent back. You weren't shunned. Perhaps her families schedule and her schedule were more important. This is not about you. Self absorbed much?


Right? OP's friend isn't the joking type, yet she (OP) sent a joking email. OP's a twit
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 16:20     Subject: Re:Friend completely shunned me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just because the invite showed up a week after they met, doesn't mean anything. Wedding venues are booked weeks in advance. My invitations took about a week to print and deliver. I can't imagine OP had lunch with friend and then friend rushed home and wrote, ordered, addressed and mailed her invites. I think this is a misunderstanding.


This. I don't know how the friend would have been able to schedule and book and make invitations in a week. She already had this date in mind. Who knows why she didn't say anything when you mentioned your work trip. Maybe she wasn't clear on the dates, maybe she didn't want to derail the conversation, whatever.


+1
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 16:19     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
OP - feel like we're missing a lot of info here. Basically NONE of this makes sense. If she sent invites out a week after you told her about your business trip, the date was set long before that - or did she book a place, print and address invites all in that week? Some huge detail is missing here.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 16:18     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
Anonymous wrote:One of my old friends is getting married in a few weeks. We never got a save the date card, but the invitation arrived just a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, it's on a Friday night when I'm returning to DC from a business trip, and the wedding is in Miami. I am unable to change the trip AND I had mentioned it to her last time I'd seen her because it's a big deal and I'm pretty stressed about it. I send the RSVP card back declining, then sent her an email jokingly asking her why she had to get married on a day I can't attend. She replied back "It was on purpose. Well, I guess this is awkward."



I didn't even reply because I really don't even understand what's going on here. I feel so snubbed. Who schedules a wedding for a day when you know a friend can't attend? I totally understand not being able to schedule it so everyone can attend, but that's not what happened here. Do I write her off as a friend?



I took it as "we picked our day on purpose b/c it worked for US, not that it didn't work for you". Why would they choose a day that YOU specifically couldn't attend (like they have every guests calendar at their disposal and are working around those) and then turn around and invite you? You sound whacked, OP
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 16:12     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
OP - this could be one of two things.

1. She purposefully excluded you. Maybe something is off in your friendship that you haven't picked up on, maybe she was worried you wouldn't approve, etc.

2. It was a joke.

Either way, it can't hurt to call. If she excluded you because she doesn't want to be your friend anymore, a phone call will make that clear and you can move on. If she excluded you because she worried you'd disapprove or because there's some other issue to address, you can address it and move on. If it was a joke, she'll tell you your crazy and obviously it was a joke and then you'll move on.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 15:59     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
Anonymous wrote:Umm, dear OP, your friend's wedding is not about accommodating YOU or YOUR business plans. It's about her. Deal with it.


Yet another person who can't see the difference. OP didn't ask her friend to accommodate her schedule.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 15:57     Subject: Re:Friend completely shunned me
Anonymous wrote:Just because the invite showed up a week after they met, doesn't mean anything. Wedding venues are booked weeks in advance. My invitations took about a week to print and deliver. I can't imagine OP had lunch with friend and then friend rushed home and wrote, ordered, addressed and mailed her invites. I think this is a misunderstanding.


This. I don't know how the friend would have been able to schedule and book and make invitations in a week. She already had this date in mind. Who knows why she didn't say anything when you mentioned your work trip. Maybe she wasn't clear on the dates, maybe she didn't want to derail the conversation, whatever.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 15:55     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
Umm, dear OP, your friend's wedding is not about accommodating YOU or YOUR business plans. It's about her. Deal with it.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 15:52     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:On the off chance that you are not a troll, OP, because this situation sounds so ridiculous that I doubt it's true, I recommend that you reply with a smiley face and sent her a heartfelt congratulatory card and gift. She was 100% joking and your first email was out of line.


I don't know why it was out of line - I was trying to tell her that I really did wish I could be there. I am a fairly conservative Christian so I really didn't want her thinking I wasn't attending because I disagreed with it.

Ding! That is the reason you were excluded, even though you are clearly fine with it. It's not that a same-sex wedding offends you, it's that she's offended by your conservative Christian beliefs. Sorry, OP, but this is why your friend shunned you.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 15:48     Subject: Re:Friend completely shunned me
Just because the invite showed up a week after they met, doesn't mean anything. Wedding venues are booked weeks in advance. My invitations took about a week to print and deliver. I can't imagine OP had lunch with friend and then friend rushed home and wrote, ordered, addressed and mailed her invites. I think this is a misunderstanding.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 15:48     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Email her back and say, "Wait, I was kidding - did you really?"


+1 don't try to read her mind here.


x2



Agree.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 15:48     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
Anonymous wrote:I think you're just upset, OP, because you were hurt that you weren't priority on her big day. You were being purposefully flip, and she brilliantly went toe to toe with you on that.



Just no.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 15:48     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
Anonymous wrote:I think you're just upset, OP, because you were hurt that you weren't priority on her big day. You were being purposefully flip, and she brilliantly went toe to toe with you on that.



You're wrong.
Anonymous
Post 08/07/2015 15:47     Subject: Friend completely shunned me
I think you're just upset, OP, because you were hurt that you weren't priority on her big day. You were being purposefully flip, and she brilliantly went toe to toe with you on that.