OP, there are 7 seasons of My Cat From Hell on itunes. I'm sure it is widely available other places too (I'm overseas at the moment so can't access Netflix, etc. here).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I advise you to call the local stables and ask if they will accept a vaccinated, spayed barn cat (emphasis spayed). This is a great life for a cat!

I grew up on a horse farm and remember several of my parents' friends giving us their cats-with-issues to live as barn cats, and I named/loved/played with each one. Our stable had a heated tack room with a cat flap, but the cats loved to nest down in hay, and one of them even slept on top of a horse in the winter. I would see them hunting in the fields, and we took them all to be vaccinated each year, and had them spayed/neutered. This is NOT the same as leaving the cat outdoors/to the elements. Our barn cats lived very, very long lives (the oldest was 18, I think) and were happy. If you can find a stable (commercial barn or otherwise), this is your best bet. They won't care about your cats peeing problem because the cat can pee outside. Every stable needs barn cats to keep the rodents at bay. You can find the stables listed in phone directories: check equestrian facilities, etc.

This cat doesn't sound like it would tolerate that environment.

I don't see why not. If the cat wanted to lounge indoors, it could, and it could also go outside whenever it wanted. And stables usually have a lot of animal-loving young girls around, so if it wanted some attention, it could have that too.

An elderly, anxious, single cat who has been indoors its whole life? Give me a break.

^^This.

I have experience working at barns and taking care of barn cats, and frankly it is not the “fabulous” life for some cats. Sure, some thrive in that environment, but some do not. Some cannot adjust to outdoor life. Especially if there are several cats already living there and end up fighting to establish a pecking order. Also, not all barns take care of their cats well. I seriously doubt this cat would adjust to being a barn cat.

OP, I absolutely feel for you. I recently took in a stray that appears to be a very sweet cat, but come to find out it has a terrible diarrhea problem. I will throw all the money I can to fix the problem, but frankly if I cannot fix it, I will euthanize him. I will not take him to a rescue group or shelter and add to their burden. I have done my share of rescue/rehab and you can’t save them all.

OP, she is 13 years old, you gave her a decent life. Do what you have to do.

It really depends on the barn, too. If the barn isn't taking care of its cats, it isn't taking care of its horses properly, either. Horses are very expensive and very delicate, and no responsible horse owner wants to expose their horses to other mammals that are diseased or sick, which is why responsible horse owners also care for the cats. Barns that don't care for them are also barns that don't properly clean their tack after each use, or groom their horses properly each day, and I've seen that a lot too. Also, barn cats are not living an "outdoor life": they have a huge building with free access at all times, and a tack room should be heated at a reputable barn. If the horses are well cared-for and the owners aren't cutting corners there, the cats should be fine, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Have not watched the cat show. May look it up.

Simply closing the bedroom door won't help, as (1) the pee is not confined to the bedroom, and (2) that's the cat's safe place to hide from a house filled with four active, loud children ranging in age from 2-9. She gets thoroughly freaked out when locked out of our room.

She's had two pee free days so it's quieted down a bit. I think she has a reprieve until it starts happening again.

If she does have arthritis or something else that is causing her pain, I honestly think she's better off with a peaceful end. It is just cruel (in my opinion) to let an animal suffer because we don't want to say goodbye. (Admittedly in our cat's case, at least one family member would be fine saying goodbye, but others less so.) She's a nice animal but I realize she is probably living in a state of high stress and awful lot of the time.

But you DO want to say goodbye, and seem to be trying to convince yourself that your cat, who just got a clean bill of health, should be euthanized to prevent her from suffering.

I realize that your situation is complicated, but this just makes me so sad for your cat.

ITA.

Anonymous wrote:I am offended by the way OP wrote the title of this thread.

Writing "gets the needle" shows how little respect she has for her animal, as though the cat is a piece of garbage to be disposed of because she's become an annoyance.

The cat has done nothing wrong, aside from growing older. It sounds like OP is not a sympathetic pet owner. If the cat has been having problems for years, OP ought to have found a new, less stressful home for her long ago.

Animals are living creatures who deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. The title of OP's post is neither respectful, nor dignified. I'm sorry for her cat.

I couldn't agree more PP.

When I saw this title, I was just floored that someone could be so insensitive as to articulate this issue in such a cruel manner. It's not like this cat is in the same category as a serial killer who should "get the electric chair."

Poor kitty cat.

As an animal lover, I am sorry but I cannot stand your husband's stance on this.

My pet cats do things ALL the time that get on my nerves. They scratch up the furniture, one defecates outside his litterbox and has been doing so for five years, and they knock things down with their strong tales when they fight. I have cat fur all over and sometimes they get bored and follow me around the house, seeking to be entertained in some fashion.

However when I adopted them, I did so with the expectation that my love for them was 120% unconditional. I promised to give them a "FURR-ever" home and I feel I owe it to them to honor that.

These cats are not a novelty to me, they are a part of my life.

I think it is rude that your husband is telling you the cat "has to go." Do you feel the same way? Did you have the cat prior to the dog...err...sorry..I mean your hubby??

It's so unfair that after 13 years of being this kitty's mommy, you are now going to give up on him because of this. Kitties get old just like humans do, and it is wrong and unfair to consider killing him off or getting rid of him just because he is getting older.

Please put yourself in his paws...He thinks your love and his home are permanent. It is all he knows. He would be so broken-hearted if he had any inkling that everything in his life that he knows, he is about to lose.

Please re-consider. Or get rid of the hubby.

Signed,

~ A Fellow Kitty Mommy

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Have not watched the cat show. May look it up.

Simply closing the bedroom door won't help, as (1) the pee is not confined to the bedroom, and (2) that's the cat's safe place to hide from a house filled with four active, loud children ranging in age from 2-9. She gets thoroughly freaked out when locked out of our room.

She's had two pee free days so it's quieted down a bit. I think she has a reprieve until it starts happening again.

If she does have arthritis or something else that is causing her pain, I honestly think she's better off with a peaceful end. It is just cruel (in my opinion) to let an animal suffer because we don't want to say goodbye. (Admittedly in our cat's case, at least one family member would be fine saying goodbye, but others less so.) She's a nice animal but I realize she is probably living in a state of high stress and awful lot of the time.

But you DO want to say goodbye, and seem to be trying to convince yourself that your cat, who just got a clean bill of health, should be euthanized to prevent her from suffering.

I realize that your situation is complicated, but this just makes me so sad for your cat.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:er, I DISagree that the cat is healthy--no UTI doesn't mean she's not feeling creaky.

Yes, she may be feeling old. We're trying an easier path to litter box to see if there is any improvement. If not, it's vet time for the shot, I guess. Not sure how to explain this one to the kids.

Did you try hanging the bath mat over the tub?? That's what we do. Also, you can try iffering her more than one litter box, or using a brand called "cat attract". I could never euthanize my cat.

OP if you haven't acted, please hear me out. We had a kitty who was about 5 when he began peeing on our carpet. For a while we thought we solved the issue by replacing our carpet with wood. After some time the problem began again. We tried Prozac, extra pans, sprays, etc. After the vet ran out of ideas, DH was just miserable with the situation and threatened the shelter. The vet recognizing our desperation suggested keeping the cat restricted to the laundry room when we couldn't supervise. It seemed mean at first but it was better than being euthanized. He lived like this for years and was a happy content cat. He did still pee outside his box at times but it was contained to one area that was easy to clean. Every evening he sat with me to watch tv and at other times of the day when I could keep an eye on him he also came out of his room. When the kids were older they would play in the laundry room with him so he wasn't ignored. He lived to be a very old guy and I was grateful we found a solution that kept him at home. Just throwing it out there as a compromise.

I will also say that through word of mouth we found a rescue that was willing to take him when he was probably about 13. We were literally within hours of the handover when DH saw how distraught I was and said he couldn't go through with it. To his credit, he never said another word but I know it was a huge annoyance for him until the end.

A little OT, but is it seriously difficult to find a vet to euthanize a cat that won't use the litter box??? I can see how they wouldn't love it, but this owner has certainly given this situation plenty of time and has tried nearly everything to make it work.

OP are you still around? We adopted a 'mature' cat from a friend who had two and the second cat suddenly started battling the first. You're asking how to rehome:
--tell all your friends, colleagues, etc. that the cat has a peeing issue, unknown cause, and you want to find a new home, with the idea that the cat may have to be put down.
--Put on a note on a community bulletin board (my office has an online one, my synagog has one on a wall)
--talk to an assisted living facility, who might want an older, calmer cat
--contact some local shelters to find out if they'll take her

You might try to diagnosis this a bit - an anxious cat in a noisy, busy house w/ four kids and an anxious spouse sounds like a cause to me. A calm, quiet house might stop the cat from peeing outside the box.

It is OK to euthanize or let someone else euthanize a 13 year old cat. The hard part is finding someone to do it.

OP Ignore the haters. Rehoming a mature cat (older than a kitten) is very difficult. The shelters are full, the stables do not want another cat, and they live to be 17+ years old. It is a tough situation. Vets are loathe to put an animal down. If the cat pees outside the box, you can be sure your house REEKS of pee. Sorry. You can try some websites, but you will get crazies who want you to drive 3-4 hours to their home in the mountains of Appalachia. There are something like 4-5 million+ cats in the US needing homes. signed,
no more cats and so very happy

Anonymous wrote:OP, I agree with PP that you should not get a dog. Dogs are much more difficult and demanding than cats. With four children, you will not have the energy to take care of a dog.

How does your DH feel about dogs? Puppies poop and pee in the house for a long time until they are finally housebroken, but in their golden years, they often become incontinent.

We think of our dog as a member of our family. If he became inconvenient, we would not euthanize him, any more than we would euthanize our grandmother, who is far more annoying and inconvenient.

Do what you want to do, OP, but don't expect sympathy from DCUM. If you've had enough of the cat, find her a new home or euthanize her, if you can find a vet who feels comfortable euthanizing a healthy animal.

But for God's sake, don't get another animal! Maybe a fish, if you must, but not a dog or another cat.

+1

I completely disagree that she would have to be euthanized even in a new home -- there's no way to know what would happen if you don't try. I would look into rehoming first, through one of the nonprofits already mentioned. If the cat is healthy, she could very well be going outside the box due to stress from what you say is a very noisy and chaotic home. She may stop entirely once in a calmer environment.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is an asshole. What is this, the 1950s and you have to listen to him like he's your boss? Stand up for your beloved cat and figure out what's wrong.

Ever heard of picking your battles? Do you think there just MIGHT be other issues in our lives that I'd prefer to wage war over rather than the cat? I can think of three genuinely life-changing issues on which we disagree and will need to work through. Making him feel like I've chosen the aging cat over him - something that would literally be right in front of him everyday - is not a great strategy.

As for PPs suggesting litter box somewhere on same floor. Where? Which one of our kids' bedrooms should it go in? Is the hallway the right place? Our bathroom is by far the best option but it is truly a non-starter.

No no no. Kids' bedrooms for a litter box? That's so unsanitary.

And forget these shrill people who think calling your husband an "ass" is helpful or accurate. People! A cat only lives so long and in this poster's case, maybe another year or so. She's supposed to ruin her marriage for that? Sorry, but no one should ever ruin an otherwise good relationship for an animal that would gladly leave you for another owner with better food. And by the way, peeing outside the box is not an easy thing to get over. Cat urine and feces is truly foul stuff. There's only so long people can grit their teeth while their things get ruined.

OP, I agree with other posters that rehoming is just a way to pass the euthanizing duties off to someone else. It's going to happen either way. I'm sure your longtime pet would like to spend her last moments with you, not a stranger.