It happened to me once. I'm white and in my 30s and was kinda taken aback; I think it is just because it was a weekday and I was dressed for, um, play (read: ratty blue jeans, old shoes, tank top, bandana). I'm not a SAHM, just happened to be home with a sick kid that day.

Anyway, I also made that mistake myself exactly once, apologized profusely, and have never made assumptions of that particular sort again.

I also was out with a friend of mine once, a 30-something white woman with biracial kids, and saw her berated by a random crazy stranger who seemed to think she must have stolen black children away from their family. it was awful.

If you're not white, they assume you're the caregiver. And if you're white with a biracial child, they assume you are not the birth mother. I can't count the number of times I was asked, "Where did you get him?" Several times, they were white parents of non-white adopted children, so I took it as an effort to make a connection. But I was surprised that they seem less fluent in racial matters generally and seemed to pack a lot more assumptions about race in their thinking. I would have thought the whole decision to form a mixed race family would have engendered a little self-examination and some scrutiny about white privilege.

I'm white and kids are biracial. I was once asked if I had adopted them. ( I am adopted myself but just found the whole thing odd.) The woman apologized profusely but...

Yeah; same as many of you. I'm mixed and look latina (or something)-- my kinds are blond with blue eyes.

Yes. I've posted this before. I am South Asian and DH is white. I'm also very short, so many people confuse me for a latina nanny rather than a very old, crotchety lawyer. My kids, especially when they were itty, are very fair. One time, a woman who was with her 20-something daughter told me when I was taking DS out of the stroller by his arms rather than torso, "his mother wouldn't want you to do that". Her daughter was visibly horrified about her mom's mistaking me as the nanny. Someone also once asked me "how long have you with with them" at the playground with both DD and DS. I wished I was quick-minded enough to retort "since their dad knocked me up". I think I read about an AA mom who did that when questioned about her very fair kids.

I have been asked "How long have you been taking of them?" in reference to my twin girls at a local playground. They were around 1.5 years old at the time. I was 39 years old and am Asian. Kids are also half-white.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Never and I became a Mom at 25. My son also looks like my clone and I'm very hands on and affectionate with him.

this is stupid. i see plenty of helicopter nannies and lazy moms in the park. nobody assumes someone is a mom or nanny based only on this factor.

Affectionate = helicopter? I wouldn't expect a Nanny to kiss a charge. So that's a dead give away IMO.

My nanny kissed my kids all the time. Why wouldn't you expect that? I wanted that in an nanny.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven't but I get asked EVERY.SINGLE.DAY "where does that blond hair come from?"

Both of my kids are white blond. My husband and I have brown hair but we were both blond as kids. It's pretty simple.

Who is asking you this? Because I think that's super common for white people (I was also white-blond as a kid and now have dark brown hair). However, DH, who is Asian, thinks color-changing hair in white kids is just crazy. I could see someone from a different race thinking it's unusual because it doesn't happen in that race. Try to be understanding when you get this question.

I have naturally curly hair that is a bit more wavy after pregnancy, but definitely still not straight. My toddler has tight little ringlets and people are constantly asking me where she got those curls. I kind of just want to point to my head and be like "??????"

I'm not sure. I am 30 with two kids. I did have an elderly woman who was of Middle Eastern heritage (wearing a hijab) who came up to me at Wegmans once and asked if both kids with me were mine. I said yes and she said "You're too young." It didn't sound like a compliment though, LOL.

Not sure who tf people think I am, but they do ask, Is that your daughter?

I always want to ask, do you see anyone else???

My mother in law (who is a lovely AA Ethiopian) was mistaken for my nanny. She met us for lunch before work in scrubs and someone mentioned off hand "how great your nanny is," which was strange because I was there and two who makes their nanny wear scrubs.

Anonymous wrote:I have and it was so strange. I guess it had to do wih looking like a youngish parent for this area and the fact that my kid is mixed and I'm not. Has his happened to you?

My best friend is half Italian / half Japanese (grew up in Switzerland), and she has dark skin. She married a French Canadian, and their children (3 year old + 8 year old) are light skinned, blonde and blue eyed. She gets mistaken for the nanny all the time. We think it's hilarious.

Anonymous wrote:No one has ever mistaken me as my kids' nanny, at least not to my face or openly, despite my mixed race kids looking much more white (like their dad) than like me. It's probably because my youngest is always yelling Mommy this, Mommy that.

Haha! That's funny. He's "marked" you through his incessant words. My kid went through a phase like that. I swear, it seemed like every sentence started with "Mama!"

I've been mistaken for my daughter's grandmother. I was 42 at the time, she was almost 18 months old.

Ha! (It motivated me to kick my health into gear, I'll tell you that!)

Anonymous wrote:I haven't but I get asked EVERY.SINGLE.DAY "where does that blond hair come from?"

Both of my kids are white blond. My husband and I have brown hair but we were both blond as kids. It's pretty simple.

Who is asking you this? Because I think that's super common for white people (I was also white-blond as a kid and now have dark brown hair). However, DH, who is Asian, thinks color-changing hair in white kids is just crazy. I could see someone from a different race thinking it's unusual because it doesn't happen in that race. Try to be understanding when you get this question.