Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:21     Subject: Spanking
No= new sorry for typos
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:21     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why do you say so definitively that spanking won't help?


Because OP says her goal is to prevent the explosion, by which she means the critical behaviour (hitting, spitting on her and such).

If you want to be proactive, which OP states she wants to be, spanking is just about the furthest you can get from your goal. Spanking is an out-of-control reaction if you spank in anger. And if you calmly plan the spanking and postpone it, if you can truly hit your child while you're calm and do it rationally, in a pre-planned way, you are cruel, devoided of any empathy, and - to me at least - in need of professional help.


If you spank, but not in anger and you're rational about it, that makes you cruel and devoid of any empathy? Do you even read what you write?


Yes, I do. Calmly planning to strike a child and carrying out the act while you are in a supposedly rational state of mind is much worse than the (still inexcusable) swat on the bottom given as a on-the-spot reaction.

You and the rest of the pro-spanking crowd may not want to hear it, but that's the truth.
I'm not even someone who uses spanking, but you make no sense. If you're going to spank, this is the correct way to do it.


There is no correct way to hit another human being. The only situation in which hitting someone else is warranted is self-defence.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:20     Subject: Spanking
** say * saw-op
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:20     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How old is the child, OP? A three or four year old being a holy terror, not being able to go out to eat, hitting, is unfortunate but not out of the realm of normal. But that isn't average behavior for a 6 year old, and if you child is school age (even preschool) I think its time to talk to the teachers and see what is up. Maybe your kid needs some help with emotional regulation and impulsivity. If so, spanking really won't help, because it doesn't teach those things. Your kid can't exercise control he doesn't yet have. So my first step in your case wouldn't be to decide on how to punish, but to figure out what is going on with your guy. Start with the pediatrician and the teachers.


3 and it was the teachers that declared it a problem. I thought this was how all 3 year olds behave-op


Is he like this at home? How do you handle?


On occasion. But rarely. Bad behaviors they say were nipped immediately at home. As the year has progressed no behaviors )the hitting )
started. This is rare at home and much more frequent at school (3-5 days a week) .not acceptable.-op
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:19     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How old is the child, OP? A three or four year old being a holy terror, not being able to go out to eat, hitting, is unfortunate but not out of the realm of normal. But that isn't average behavior for a 6 year old, and if you child is school age (even preschool) I think its time to talk to the teachers and see what is up. Maybe your kid needs some help with emotional regulation and impulsivity. If so, spanking really won't help, because it doesn't teach those things. Your kid can't exercise control he doesn't yet have. So my first step in your case wouldn't be to decide on how to punish, but to figure out what is going on with your guy. Start with the pediatrician and the teachers.


3 and it was the teachers that declared it a problem. I thought this was how all 3 year olds behave-op


A 3-year-old is still learning impulse control and appropriate reactions.

Some teachers are overly eager to label children and that's a fact.

In any case, OP, you need to model being in control and responding appropriately. "A hit for a hit" teaches the opposite.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:18     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why do you say so definitively that spanking won't help?


Because OP says her goal is to prevent the explosion, by which she means the critical behaviour (hitting, spitting on her and such).

If you want to be proactive, which OP states she wants to be, spanking is just about the furthest you can get from your goal. Spanking is an out-of-control reaction if you spank in anger. And if you calmly plan the spanking and postpone it, if you can truly hit your child while you're calm and do it rationally, in a pre-planned way, you are cruel, devoided of any empathy, and - to me at least - in need of professional help.


If you spank, but not in anger and you're rational about it, that makes you cruel and devoid of any empathy? Do you even read what you write?


Yes, I do. Calmly planning to strike a child and carrying out the act while you are in a supposedly rational state of mind is much worse than the (still inexcusable) swat on the bottom given as a on-the-spot reaction.

You and the rest of the pro-spanking crowd may not want to hear it, but that's the truth.
I'm not even someone who uses spanking, but you make no sense. If you're going to spank, this is the correct way to do it.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:17     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How old is the child, OP? A three or four year old being a holy terror, not being able to go out to eat, hitting, is unfortunate but not out of the realm of normal. But that isn't average behavior for a 6 year old, and if you child is school age (even preschool) I think its time to talk to the teachers and see what is up. Maybe your kid needs some help with emotional regulation and impulsivity. If so, spanking really won't help, because it doesn't teach those things. Your kid can't exercise control he doesn't yet have. So my first step in your case wouldn't be to decide on how to punish, but to figure out what is going on with your guy. Start with the pediatrician and the teachers.


3 and it was the teachers that declared it a problem. I thought this was how all 3 year olds behave-op


Is he like this at home? How do you handle?
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:17     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why do you say so definitively that spanking won't help?


Because OP says her goal is to prevent the explosion, by which she means the critical behaviour (hitting, spitting on her and such).

If you want to be proactive, which OP states she wants to be, spanking is just about the furthest you can get from your goal. Spanking is an out-of-control reaction if you spank in anger. And if you calmly plan the spanking and postpone it, if you can truly hit your child while you're calm and do it rationally, in a pre-planned way, you are cruel, devoided of any empathy, and - to me at least - in need of professional help.


If you spank, but not in anger and you're rational about it, that makes you cruel and devoid of any empathy? Do you even read what you write?


Yes, I do. Calmly planning to strike a child and carrying out the act while you are in a supposedly rational state of mind is much worse than the (still inexcusable) swat on the bottom given as a on-the-spot reaction.

You and the rest of the pro-spanking crowd may not want to hear it, but that's the truth.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:16     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:How old is the child, OP? A three or four year old being a holy terror, not being able to go out to eat, hitting, is unfortunate but not out of the realm of normal. But that isn't average behavior for a 6 year old, and if you child is school age (even preschool) I think its time to talk to the teachers and see what is up. Maybe your kid needs some help with emotional regulation and impulsivity. If so, spanking really won't help, because it doesn't teach those things. Your kid can't exercise control he doesn't yet have. So my first step in your case wouldn't be to decide on how to punish, but to figure out what is going on with your guy. Start with the pediatrician and the teachers.


3 and it was the teachers that declared it a problem. I thought this was how all 3 year olds behave-op
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:15     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People are going to do what people are going to do. The majority of Americans still believe in spanking. The research is unequivocal that it does not help and often makes problems worse.


Not true. One reason for an explosion in young people mixed up with the criminal justice system is that their parents may have been afraid to "apply the board of education to the seat of learning."


Stop.

Violence on children is not funny.

You're a terrible human being.

Just stop making fun of children who are being hurt by people who are supposed to love them.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:15     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why do you say so definitively that spanking won't help?


Because OP says her goal is to prevent the explosion, by which she means the critical behaviour (hitting, spitting on her and such).

If you want to be proactive, which OP states she wants to be, spanking is just about the furthest you can get from your goal. Spanking is an out-of-control reaction if you spank in anger. And if you calmly plan the spanking and postpone it, if you can truly hit your child while you're calm and do it rationally, in a pre-planned way, you are cruel, devoided of any empathy, and - to me at least - in need of professional help.


If you spank, but not in anger and you're rational about it, that makes you cruel and devoid of any empathy? Do you even read what you write?
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:14     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Why do you say so definitively that spanking won't help?


Because OP says her goal is to prevent the explosion, by which she means the critical behaviour (hitting, spitting on her and such).

If you want to be proactive, which OP states she wants to be, spanking is just about the furthest you can get from your goal. Spanking is an out-of-control reaction if you spank in anger. And if you calmly plan the spanking and postpone it, if you can truly hit your child while you're calm and do it rationally, in a pre-planned way, you are cruel, devoided of any empathy, and - to me at least - in need of professional help.


this is ridiculous. You make yourself sound very dumb when you write like this.


That's your opinion and it's your constitutional right to have one. Laugh all you want. Do you want to know what I think of your words?

This card says it better than I ever could:

http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/behold-the-field-in-which-i-grow-my-fucks-lay-thine-eyes-upon-it-and-thou-shalt-see-that-it-is-barren-4bc2e.png

Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:10     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People are going to do what people are going to do. The majority of Americans still believe in spanking. The research is unequivocal that it does not help and often makes problems worse.


Not true. One reason for an explosion in young people mixed up with the criminal justice system is that their parents may have been afraid to "apply the board of education to the seat of learning."


I'd be curious to see this "unequivocal research." Hint: it doesn't exist.
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:08     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:People are going to do what people are going to do. The majority of Americans still believe in spanking. The research is unequivocal that it does not help and often makes problems worse.


Not true. One reason for an explosion in young people mixed up with the criminal justice system is that their parents may have been afraid to "apply the board of education to the seat of learning."
Anonymous
Post 05/26/2015 11:08     Subject: Spanking
Anonymous wrote:How old is the child, OP? A three or four year old being a holy terror, not being able to go out to eat, hitting, is unfortunate but not out of the realm of normal. But that isn't average behavior for a 6 year old, and if you child is school age (even preschool) I think its time to talk to the teachers and see what is up. Maybe your kid needs some help with emotional regulation and impulsivity. If so, spanking really won't help, because it doesn't teach those things. Your kid can't exercise control he doesn't yet have. So my first step in your case wouldn't be to decide on how to punish, but to figure out what is going on with your guy. Start with the pediatrician and the teachers.


Awesome advice. OP, heed it.

As a PP said, seeking help doesn't make you a failure. Seeking help makes you a *good* parent.