Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the wife bonus article is the flip side to that ridiculous "I can't afford my wife" article making the rounds on facebook, where in both cases, the women are opting out of the formal economy and choosing to participate in the informal economy. All a SAH spouse does (whether a parent or not, and whether for a five-figure, six-figure, or seven-figure dude) is shift her labor onto her husband's side of the ledger so that he can get formal payment and credit for both of their work. There are some economic benefits to this that they share -- he doesn't have to pay sales tax or employer tax for her services like he would have to for a nanny or a maid service, she doesn't have to pay employee tax/SS/Medicare like everyone with a reportable salary does either. However, by and large the bulk of the benefits of this arrangement go to him -- he can tap his SS after retirement, she gets zip credit for all her years of (home) work, and she damn sure doesn't get paid overtime. Their au pair has more legal protections than she does.

Labor laws exist because exploitation is too too easy. The fact that anyone is being exploited doesn't help the rest of us -- it lowers our earning potential as well (see "scabs"). If one person has an indentured servant and another person doesn't, it's a hell of a lot easier for the person with the indentured servant to pull the all-nighter at the office and get the promotion. You get the point.

I just balk at any of these women (either UES bonus earners or the can't-afford-my-wife-masses) reveling in their status as informal economy workers. Then again, like most other types of cash-only, informal economy workers, they may just have a higher tolerance for high risk/high reward arrangements. And, as a lot of the ex-wives report, this arrangement certainly carries all-or-nothing risks to it.

It scares me that you actually believe this.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like the wife bonus article is the flip side to that ridiculous "I can't afford my wife" article making the rounds on facebook, where in both cases, the women are opting out of the formal economy and choosing to participate in the informal economy. All a SAH spouse does (whether a parent or not, and whether for a five-figure, six-figure, or seven-figure dude) is shift her labor onto her husband's side of the ledger so that he can get formal payment and credit for both of their work. There are some economic benefits to this that they share -- he doesn't have to pay sales tax or employer tax for her services like he would have to for a nanny or a maid service, she doesn't have to pay employee tax/SS/Medicare like everyone with a reportable salary does either. However, by and large the bulk of the benefits of this arrangement go to him -- he can tap his SS after retirement, she gets zip credit for all her years of (home) work, and she damn sure doesn't get paid overtime. Their au pair has more legal protections than she does.

Labor laws exist because exploitation is too too easy. The fact that anyone is being exploited doesn't help the rest of us -- it lowers our earning potential as well (see "scabs"). If one person has an indentured servant and another person doesn't, it's a hell of a lot easier for the person with the indentured servant to pull the all-nighter at the office and get the promotion. You get the point.

I just balk at any of these women (either UES bonus earners or the can't-afford-my-wife-masses) reveling in their status as informal economy workers. Then again, like most other types of cash-only, informal economy workers, they may just have a higher tolerance for high risk/high reward arrangements. And, as a lot of the ex-wives report, this arrangement certainly carries all-or-nothing risks to it.

Anonymous wrote:I get a wife bonus, ie 50% of my banker DHs bonus. We are very well to do but nowhere near as rich as the people in the article. My husband has always transferred 50% of his bonus to me. It is a non-trivial amount of money. It sort of started out as a sort of joke but has become a tradition with us. I have a job but he outearns me by a wide margin.

feel like the wife bonus article is the flip side to that ridiculous "I can't afford my wife" article making the rounds on facebook, where in both cases, the women are opting out of the formal economy and choosing to participate in the informal economy. All a SAH spouse does (whether a parent or not, and whether for a five-figure, six-figure, or seven-figure dude) is shift her labor onto her husband's side of the ledger so that he can get formal payment and credit for both of their work. There are some economic benefits to this that they share -- he doesn't have to pay sales tax or employer tax for her services like he would have to for a nanny or a maid service, she doesn't have to pay employee tax/SS/Medicare like everyone with a reportable salary does either. However, by and large the bulk of the benefits of this arrangement go to him -- he can tap his SS after retirement, she gets zip credit for all her years of (home) work, and she damn sure doesn't get paid overtime. Their au pair has more legal protections than she does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So heres something I will never admit in real life. In my early 20s I dated a married man. He was really wealthy and gave out wads of cash often. He would say things like "go shopping on me" or "try ABC spa and think of me" or " why don't you go look at cars". It was his exit tool, one that probably worked on many women before and after me. I just decided to hoard the cash. I put it in an account and when we broke up it was around 33k ("dated" for about 2 years). I invested it in a risky tech start up a few years later (mid 90s) and got fairly lucky. I bought a house and have never had a mortgage all because of my whore self.

Good for you. It's hard for me to say that being a cheated on wife, but I wholeheartedly am glad you did this for yourself. Really.

Anonymous wrote:So heres something I will never admit in real life. In my early 20s I dated a married man. He was really wealthy and gave out wads of cash often. He would say things like "go shopping on me" or "try ABC spa and think of me" or " why don't you go look at cars". It was his exit tool, one that probably worked on many women before and after me. I just decided to hoard the cash. I put it in an account and when we broke up it was around 33k ("dated" for about 2 years). I invested it in a risky tech start up a few years later (mid 90s) and got fairly lucky. I bought a house and have never had a mortgage all because of my whore self.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I thought the article was a little wobbly, but I am a SAHM and my DH always gives a me a percentage of his yearly bonus, to spend or save as I want. This has never changed based on my "performance".

I don't understand this 'give me some of his money'. It's both of your money; you staying home allows him to focus on work, you are a team.

Anonymous wrote:Wednesday Martin threw a grenade into the mommy wars, ugh. I find her more hypocritical and judgmental than anthropological.