Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 16:50     Subject: Re:Neighbors always coming in our yard
Anonymous wrote:This behavior goes beyond brazen or even creepy. It is almost sociopathic. And you are assuming a huge amount of liability if someone gets injured on your property. I would take a multi step approach:

- gate lock and no trespassing sign. Actually, the lock may be required by county code if you have a spa or pool. Might be worth looking into.
- blunt talk with neighbors. Do NOT give them excuses why you don't want them over. They won't get it or they won't care. Tell them directly that you do not want them on any part of your property at any time. Period.
- call the non-emergency police number if they still violate your property
- if all else fails, get a restraining order

Seriously, these people sound unstable. Your first responsibility is to your family and your property.




+1

My friends' have hot tubs, and there is no way in hell the neighbors would be able to come over willy nilly. Half the time, they are naked in their own hot tub! WTF are these neighbors thinking, that the world revolves around them? Wonder where they got that (hint: their parents). Just tell them no one under 16 is allowed in the hot tub, so no one is allowed in the yard without express consent. Such BS that they expect to use your yard, and are basically challenging you to say something to them. Unbelievable.

Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 16:20     Subject: Neighbors always coming in our yard
Anonymous wrote:I also clicked thinking it was my neighbors! We have a fenced in area for our yard, and they don't, but we share a driveway. So their yard is open to our driveway, while ours is not. They have this amazing swing set. We do our best not to go out there unless they are playing in it (and they are always inviting us to join them), but it makes me so uncomfortable when they are not there. The tough part is, it doesn't make sense for us to get a play yard, b/c we know the kids will just flock to the neighbor's house. So, I try to buy joint toys that we can put in the shared space so their DD can use them too.

I should say, we are also very close with them. We usually do a group cookout a few times a week, have them over often, and hang out with each other's kids often. We've even had them stay at our house while they remodeled. So, it's definitely different. It would be much harder if we weren't this friendly with them.


You describe a reciprocal relationship. Totally different. OP's situation is one-sided. The other family uses and attends events but has never had anyone to their home.

We have a family like this and they get offended when somebody doesn't invite them. HELLO-they've never once hosted. ANything. The one time people were on the porch (invited)--the wife screamed that everyone was too loud.

Unbelievable. Pushy as hell to get invited to our events but never return the favor.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 16:11     Subject: Neighbors always coming in our yard
I also clicked thinking it was my neighbors! We have a fenced in area for our yard, and they don't, but we share a driveway. So their yard is open to our driveway, while ours is not. They have this amazing swing set. We do our best not to go out there unless they are playing in it (and they are always inviting us to join them), but it makes me so uncomfortable when they are not there. The tough part is, it doesn't make sense for us to get a play yard, b/c we know the kids will just flock to the neighbor's house. So, I try to buy joint toys that we can put in the shared space so their DD can use them too.

I should say, we are also very close with them. We usually do a group cookout a few times a week, have them over often, and hang out with each other's kids often. We've even had them stay at our house while they remodeled. So, it's definitely different. It would be much harder if we weren't this friendly with them.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 16:04     Subject: Re:Neighbors always coming in our yard
This is ridiculous. Next time they come over tell them you don't want them to come over uninvited or at least without ringing on your door and asking if you want to hang outthey can hang out in your yard. If they fail to comply call the freaking cops - it's trespassing and that's very simple really.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 15:55     Subject: Re:Neighbors always coming in our yard
Anonymous wrote:I don't like labeling the neighbor. She doesn't have to be an awful person, be an idiot, be creepy or have autism. The family is just doing something that you don't like or want to have happen. I like the honest approach of trying to bet balize what you want and need. Say, I woukdnorefer that the kids not come over all the time unattended or without asking. Or I don't feel that itMs safe for them to be there an attended could you call first? Or you're kids are great but they come over a bit too much. Could we try to talk frost before they come over so I can say if it is a good time?


It doesn't have to be rude or hostile or make you a jerk. You just have to be calm, honest and straightforward about what you want. GL.


The family is doing something illegal. It's called 'trespassing'. How can anyone justify this behavior? They are going back there when nobody is home. Wtf?
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 15:52     Subject: Re:Neighbors always coming in our yard
Anonymous wrote:I don't like labeling the neighbor. She doesn't have to be an awful person, be an idiot, be creepy or have autism. The family is just doing something that you don't like or want to have happen. I like the honest approach of trying to bet balize what you want and need. Say, I woukdnorefer that the kids not come over all the time unattended or without asking. Or I don't feel that itMs safe for them to be there an attended could you call first? Or you're kids are great but they come over a bit too much. Could we try to talk frost before they come over so I can say if it is a good time?


It doesn't have to be rude or hostile or make you a jerk. You just have to be calm, honest and straightforward about what you want. GL.


Clueless. I think this label fits. A house is private property. How could anyone ever think it's acceptable to go through somebody's back gate and use their yard.

This is the strangest and rudest thing.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 15:52     Subject: Neighbors always coming in our yard
These stories are crazy! The family picnicking on someone else's lawn! The people dropping their kids off to sled at someone else's house! Nuts.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 15:41     Subject: Re:Neighbors always coming in our yard
I don't like labeling the neighbor. She doesn't have to be an awful person, be an idiot, be creepy or have autism. The family is just doing something that you don't like or want to have happen. I like the honest approach of trying to bet balize what you want and need. Say, I woukdnorefer that the kids not come over all the time unattended or without asking. Or I don't feel that itMs safe for them to be there an attended could you call first? Or you're kids are great but they come over a bit too much. Could we try to talk frost before they come over so I can say if it is a good time?


It doesn't have to be rude or hostile or make you a jerk. You just have to be calm, honest and straightforward about what you want. GL.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 15:26     Subject: Neighbors always coming in our yard
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I had a neighbor like this - just show up in the backyard. I told them 'I think we need to take a break from this for awhile.' To which they asked, 'how long' and I said at least til the (Fall in my case).' This was 2 years ago. I've never asked them over since. This is a neighborly 'friendship' you can do without.

My backyard is my oasis and I wouldn't want anything that creates stress, like it's doing for you.


+1

The crazy bold person above--- really?? Why should she have to? God-the self-entitlement! You don't go uninvited into people's backyards. It's called trespassing and in many states you could be shot for doing it.


Not the 'bolded climb the gate'. I was referring to the woman attacking OP for not saying more. Not everyone is a bitch and wants strife
not the pp to whom you are responding, But commonsense dictates if they're already violating boundaries then you need to be extremely direct and clear with them about what you do not want them to do. And what year are we living in, standing up for yourself doesn't make you a bitch makes you a grown ass woman.


This. People are so dependent on group support, that when they have to stand up and handle a negative situation all by themselves, they are too passive and prefer to rely on weak social cues instead. No wonder her neighbors keep coming back.


Really?? Why is the onus never on the uncouth assholes?

How about rude people have some class and manners?

People like OP described run through life crying how people are so mean.

To the other poster--teach your kid NOT to go in other people's yards. It's thar simple. Pick them up and remove them when they do and forcefully tell them this is not our yard/house. It's called teaching. It's how kids learn appropriate behaviors. Don't be a pansy and talk in a baby voice 'no sweetie'--half-assly all the while letting your kid call the shots. It's rude.



This. And passive-aggressively blaming the neighbor 'Mr. Smith doesn't want us back here' is f-d up. It's a law. It's private property. Teach your kids this.


+5000. I've lived in the DC area for a couple years and never cease to be amazed at some of the weird, awkward, antisocial behavior that seems to run strong around here.

Reminds me of when I moved here shortly after college and a 20something roommate in the group house I was living in let her strict, very old fashioned parents LIVE in our 6 person young professional/millennial house when they visited from out of town. First they overstayed their welcome for a long weekend (we said they could spend two nights and assumed it'd be a one time thing), then crashed again for over a WEEK while informing us on short notice without really giving us a choice that they'd be coming again... This was a lousy, angry, bossy roommate who no one really cared for anyway due to her lack of coping and social skills (only child and home taught too), and we had the displeasure of her folks not only sleeping overnight, but roaming around the house during the day (she gave them a spare key and some of us worked from home), making family dinners every night in our kitchen, even entertaining a family friend on a Saturday night in our dining room as roommates awkwardly steered around them. :-x

The lack of boundaries and social tact was appalling, and the parents never even thanked us, offered us food or money or directly communicated with me or the roommates. We realized this saved them $$ vs. a hotel...but the principal of encouraging your parents to chill out among your roomies while they go about their business on a weekend/drink, blast dance music, have loud sex upstairs etc...And when we had the nerve to tell them to stop this, she and her parents FLIPPED OUT at us and acted like we were the bad guys for implying that parents shouldn't be roaming around a shared house of young professionals. Especially when they don't pay rent or respect boundaries. Unreal...


Ok, you are a bitch.


No, not a biotch at all. I lived in a group house before. It was still my home - the place I went to unwind, chill out with people of my own generation. If I had wanted to share a place with parents I would saved my rent $ and stayed in my own parents' house. But I wanted my own place where I could have fun and be comfortable. I would not have appreciated a roommate who kept having her parents over for long weekends, week long stays, etc. In fact, I would have really resented the heck out of that.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 14:49     Subject: Neighbors always coming in our yard
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The next tine they come over just pointedly and politely ask them "hi there. was there something you needed?"

When they say no say " oh. Ok. Well-good to see you. We're not really expecting company now. But Have a good weekend. ". And say. Nothing. Else. It will feel awkward. Don't flinch.



Omg--I was stone-faced last night. Blatantly ignoring this person and she kept trying to insert her kid in my 10-year olds ge we were playing. We were out together and didn't want to stop active play to entertain a 1-year old when we out there and not the park to spend time together.

Very pushy people that take no social clues and ignore that I've said not comfortable with kid coming back there uninvited because we have an inground spa. Sbe already passively aggressively makes 'jokes' about how they can't go in it.


But "stone-faced" is still expecting mind reading. A PP gave you very appropriate and polite language to address your situation, just use it. Speak up. Being there without saying anything is providing implicit consent. Please speak up and put an end to this.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 14:46     Subject: Neighbors always coming in our yard
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:That's so odd. I wonder if the parents have aspergers or something.


Why is Asperger's/ASD the go-to diagnosis on this board for anyone acting weird, not having manners, doing anything outside the poster's idea of normal? It is obnoxious.

Carry on.


+1000 Thank you! Someone with Aspergers is more likely to NEVER go into your home or yard unless explicitly invited since they have learned it is a social rule.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 14:45     Subject: Neighbors always coming in our yard
Our front yard sits high on hill with a sloping front lawn and driveway. It's the sledding hill. I've looked out my window to see my adult neighbor tobogganing down my front yard. Doesn't ask or even knock on my door...also have watched while other neighbors drop their kids off to sled and drive off...
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 14:25     Subject: Re:Neighbors always coming in our yard
My front yard is the neighborhood park to some. We have a pond in the front yard right along the sidewalk with a bridge over it. Many people with young kids come and walk on the bridge, etc. It kind of annoys me but I can deal with it but have told people to stay on the public sidewalk as the bridge is not particularly stable at times.

A few have REALLY crossed the line - throwing stuff in the pond, walking all over the yard, and one who let their dog swim in it. My kitchen windows face the front so people see us sitting there, etc. Some will even wave and look and point at us! We've planted bushes in front of the windows and along the edge and ask people to stand on the PUBLIC sidewalk, not on private property. I remember when we bought the house, we were renting the house directly across the street. There was about 2 weeks when the current house was empty and we were still across the street. I watched a family take their lunch and have a picnic on the front yard of our new home. I walked over with the keys, told them to fuck off, and went inside for a few minutes than left.

My backyard is fully fenced and has a padlock on the gate and only I have the keys.

Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 14:08     Subject: Neighbors always coming in our yard
Anonymous wrote:Man, people sure are unfriendly! While I agree that the family seems clueless, it is a little sad that so many people seem to be against neighbors casually dropping by.


There's casually stopping by with which we are very cool with and then there are these peopl that just barge in our yard and never leave...and are there sometimes when we've been out--and as we pull up in our driveway are in it or are yard.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2015 14:01     Subject: Neighbors always coming in our yard
Good fences make good neighbors. Locks too. Don't wait, find a fence co. on the internet today.