Anonymous
05/09/2015 11:15
Subject: Re:Why do you "slut shame?"
Anonymous wrote:My man told me this: "As each additional "slut" enters the market, there is more sex available, and the price of sex falls, making sex a less scarce good. This makes it harder for non-sluts to hold out as a strategy for getting a man. Bad-mouthing is a counter strategy used by the non-sluts to deter men from having sex with them."
So, i wonder why do some men do this, too? Because they are afraid sleeping around is contageous?
I think that people can be legitimately uncomfortable with the idea of indiscriminate sex without being neanderthals. I can't imagine myself ever "playing the field" now (if I were not married) like I did back when I was younger and I wouldn't really be interested in dating a guy who was into ONS or brief casual flings. I'm sure I would hold out for someone more...solid. Not sure what the word that I'm looking for is. I can not imagine me sucking face on the dance floor with a guy I just met, lol. Ugh. No, just no. But there was a day when I did do that sort of thing....so I can't really judge those who do.
Anonymous
05/09/2015 10:43
Subject: Why do you "slut shame?"
I think they do it because they are genuinely bothered by the behavior, it makes them feel uncomfortable. It probably is a bit of a blow to the ego to go out with a girl and want to get serious with her only to have her reject you so that she can continue to be single and have fun playing the field.
What they don't realize is that they are dodging a bullet - because 10 to 1 that girl is not ready to commit to ANYTHING or ANYONE yet. I know that I sure wasn't.
What they don't realize is that they are dodging a bullet - because 10 to 1 that girl is not ready to commit to ANYTHING or ANYONE yet. I know that I sure wasn't.
Anonymous
05/09/2015 10:27
Subject: Re:Why do you "slut shame?"
Anonymous wrote:My man told me this: "As each additional "slut" enters the market, there is more sex available, and the price of sex falls, making sex a less scarce good. This makes it harder for non-sluts to hold out as a strategy for getting a man. Bad-mouthing is a counter strategy used by the non-sluts to deter men from having sex with them."
So, i wonder why do some men do this, too? Because they are afraid sleeping around is contageous?
The men do it if the so-called 'slut' wouldn't give them the time of day. They have to try to punish her somehow.
Anonymous
05/09/2015 10:10
Subject: Re:Why do you "slut shame?"
My man told me this: "As each additional "slut" enters the market, there is more sex available, and the price of sex falls, making sex a less scarce good. This makes it harder for non-sluts to hold out as a strategy for getting a man. Bad-mouthing is a counter strategy used by the non-sluts to deter men from having sex with them."
So, i wonder why do some men do this, too? Because they are afraid sleeping around is contageous?
So, i wonder why do some men do this, too? Because they are afraid sleeping around is contageous?
Anonymous
05/08/2015 11:23
Subject: Why do you "slut shame?"
Anonymous wrote:It's a lot easier for a woman, in terms of availability of willing partners, to go wild in college than for a man.
Yes, true to a degree. But there were always guys that could walk into a room and attract attention. They weren't always the best looking guy in the room but they had a certain confidence/charisma about them. And there were always bars and other places where it was pretty much known that people were there to hook up. And hook up they did.
Anonymous
05/08/2015 11:09
Subject: Why do you "slut shame?"
It's a lot easier for a woman, in terms of availability of willing partners, to go wild in college than for a man.
Anonymous
05/08/2015 11:00
Subject: Why do you "slut shame?"
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Those consequences primarily being that religious assholes will shame them.
Nope. Pregnancy,STD's, emotional baggage, being used for only sex etc.
It's not your life and the consequences are not yours to deal with, so MYOB. Nobody cares what you think.
My daughters = my responsibility
Which explains nothing about why boys don't face anything nearly like the same social opprobrium for having sex. They can get STDS, emotionally attached, be used for sex, and - if they get someone pregnant - be responsible for the child. So, given the difference between how males are treated versus females - while those concerns may be your actual reasons - they are bullshit pretexts if they are being offered as reasons why slut-shaming is a thing society-wide.
boys get shamed for being virgins
Truth.
Honestly, I played around in college - quite happily. I dated lots, I partied, I regularly made out with guys that I had just met and I made no pretense of being a "good girl". Some folks looked down on me for it. I remember a couple of sweet, sincere young men taking me aside and saying "Don't you know how pretty are you??!!" (because to them "pretty" girls didn't do what I was doing, they dated "nice" young men). I also remember a kind college professor who, witnessing some of my antics, assumed that I must have been attempting (in a misguided way) to get my MRS degree and directed one of his mind numbingly boring (but successful!) grad students my way..LOL. Worst. Date. Ever. And NO! I was not looking to get married - but thanks! Do you think that anyone would have made those assumptions about a guy? Ha. No.
Long story short. I had my fun, I experienced heart break, I learned about not only what I liked in a guy but what I did not like (equally important!). I also eventually settled down and matured, ready for the real thing to come along.
This is not to say that I think that all young men and women should go wild during their college years, not at all. But I don't view it as necessarily shameful to date (play around with) a wide and varied number of guys when you are single, unattached. I think it's a stage that some people just need to go through.
