Anonymous wrote:Because you ignored our previous instructions on how to acknowledge birthdays, we are going to try one more time to get you to celebrate this birthday by spending your money the way we want.

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine for her wedding asked that in lieu of gifts, guests donate to an organization focused on the disease that killed her mother. You think that's rude? I thought it was beautiful and gave much more generously than I would have for a typical gift.

Yes, I do find it really rude. The idea is nice, but most people who wanted to donate would have done it after mom was diagnosed and fighting it or after she passed as a memorial.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With all the stuff our kids have, at a certain age, I think many nice kids would prefer giving to and receiving for charity. And some kids are there as early as preschool (but some are not - I've had both). I'm amazed by how many people think it's rude to do anything other than a gift grab. It's disheartening. I think it's nice to introduce our kids to thinking beyond themselves and I look for those opportunities.

+1

It is beyond me why some PPs find this SO offensive. Our kids often have so much sh*t already. My kid loves having big parties and I'm fine with inviting tons of kids, but we really, really, really don't need 20 more LEGO sets. It's wasteful and unnecessary. I'm with the OP completely. If you say "No Gifts", people still feel they need to bring something. At least this provides an alternative. If you find it so distasteful, go ahead and give a gift anyway. Or, if you find OP so distasteful, just don't attend the party and move on.

OP, do what works for your kid. Some people are just miserable and find fault in everything.

Then regift all the legos. I don't get this oh, we're too good for your gifts as we buy our kids so much stuff that we just don't need or want anything from someone else. If your kids have that much stuff, look at your buying patterns and give away/regift the old/new stuff. Simple. We do enough for charities and in all reality, much of the money donated just goes to salaries and to line the pockets of the higher up folks, not to the people who really need it. I don't think you should dictate where someone should donate as different people feel different about each cause and just because it is important to you, it may not be important to someone else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not make the donation, but tell anyone who was rude to enough to ask me about it, that I did.

Win, win!

Awesome! You are a class act. Pretty sure there is absolutely NOTHING that OP can do that would make you happy.

While I don't agree with the sentiment, if I was backed into a corner where I had to donate to a charity I didn't want to, for whatever reason, to save face to attend a birthday party, I might.
I don't need to justify where, why or how much I donate. And if my child really wanted to go and I thought the request was ridiculous? I could see going that route

Anonymous wrote:I would not make the donation, but tell anyone who was rude to enough to ask me about it, that I did.

Win, win!

Awesome! You are a class act. Pretty sure there is absolutely NOTHING that OP can do that would make you happy.

Anonymous wrote:I would not make the donation, but tell anyone who was rude to enough to ask me about it, that I did.

Win, win!

This is becoming an easy call. I just don't want to be friends with people who think like this. Hopefully they decline the invite.

I would not make the donation, but tell anyone who was rude to enough to ask me about it, that I did.

Win, win!

Anonymous wrote:A friend of mine for her wedding asked that in lieu of gifts, guests donate to an organization focused on the disease that killed her mother. You think that's rude? I thought it was beautiful and gave much more generously than I would have for a typical gift.

I agree that it's beautiful! And considerate. And, much more worthwhile, IMO, than another picture frame/serving platter/toaster oven. Good for her!

Anonymous wrote:With all the stuff our kids have, at a certain age, I think many nice kids would prefer giving to and receiving for charity. And some kids are there as early as preschool (but some are not - I've had both). I'm amazed by how many people think it's rude to do anything other than a gift grab. It's disheartening. I think it's nice to introduce our kids to thinking beyond themselves and I look for those opportunities.

+1

It is beyond me why some PPs find this SO offensive. Our kids often have so much sh*t already. My kid loves having big parties and I'm fine with inviting tons of kids, but we really, really, really don't need 20 more LEGO sets. It's wasteful and unnecessary. I'm with the OP completely. If you say "No Gifts", people still feel they need to bring something. At least this provides an alternative. If you find it so distasteful, go ahead and give a gift anyway. Or, if you find OP so distasteful, just don't attend the party and move on.

OP, do what works for your kid. Some people are just miserable and find fault in everything.

A friend of mine for her wedding asked that in lieu of gifts, guests donate to an organization focused on the disease that killed her mother. You think that's rude? I thought it was beautiful and gave much more generously than I would have for a typical gift.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:With all the stuff our kids have, at a certain age, I think many nice kids would prefer giving to and receiving for charity. And some kids are there as early as preschool (but some are not - I've had both). I'm amazed by how many people think it's rude to do anything other than a gift grab. It's disheartening. I think it's nice to introduce our kids to thinking beyond themselves and I look for those opportunities.

It's rude to dictate how people spend THEIR money.

Not the PP, but nobody is DICTATING. WTF is your issue? If you don't want to donate, just don't. End of story. OP is not dictating anything. On the contrary, you are dictating that she have a party where people bring gifts.

She's simply asking for no gifts.

Anonymous wrote:With all the stuff our kids have, at a certain age, I think many nice kids would prefer giving to and receiving for charity. And some kids are there as early as preschool (but some are not - I've had both). I'm amazed by how many people think it's rude to do anything other than a gift grab. It's disheartening. I think it's nice to introduce our kids to thinking beyond themselves and I look for those opportunities.

It's rude to dictate how people spend THEIR money.

With all the stuff our kids have, at a certain age, I think many nice kids would prefer giving to and receiving for charity. And some kids are there as early as preschool (but some are not - I've had both). I'm amazed by how many people think it's rude to do anything other than a gift grab. It's disheartening. I think it's nice to introduce our kids to thinking beyond themselves and I look for those opportunities.

Anonymous wrote:In the past, we've tried "no gifts" but everyone brings gifts. So I thought we could do something different -- and raise funds for earthquake relief in lieu of gifts. How do I word this? Is it offensive to ask people to give the cash they would've spent on a gift (and probably some would be just re-gifting so they weren't going to spend $ in the first place)? People don't have to contribute. Just know there are others who need more than we need another Lego set and it would be nice to facilitate giving. We are open to matching contributions, too.

thanks

My kids do cloverbyclover.com every year.

It's PERFECT. Go check it out.

Good grief accept gifts, put on ebay and give money or charity.