Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is enlightening.

This is exactly why you rich people complain that you can't make it on $300k a year.

We have a wonderful family life and feel very lucky with where we're at financially and what we can do, but I have absolutely ZERO inclination to spend money on things that the rich idiots on this thread claim are essential for their children.

Our children are still young - 7 and 4 - but have cost us relatively little. We live in the same house we lived in pre kids and drive the same car, kids get a lot of their clothes from thrift stores, go to public charter schools, we've never paid a dime for child care (work out our schedules around the kids, trade babysitting with neighbors and friends). They eat what we eat and always have done - not much added to our grocery bill. When they were younger we used cloth diapers and breastfed, no interest in spending money for formula when it's free, warm and convenient straight from the breast. Also potty trained both and completely rid of diapers including overnight before age 2. We have an HMO which covers all our medical needs and costs less per month than our pre-kid insurance.

We go out much less now that we have kids. We drink less with kids than we used to. No more theater tickets or comedy tickets, or nights out to see live music. Or at least not very often. Ditto the movies. We socialize in different ways now but overall, likely save money.

My kids don't go to expensive camps, they are not signed up for expensive sports or activities. We do activities together as a family every weekend, go to the library often, have playdates. Take advantage of neighborhood activities (free) or those offered by parks and rec, including their summer camp.

Our biggest additional expense from kids is travel. While we now take them camping for a weekend a few times a summer when pre kids we might have stayed in a B and B, we also fly a couple of times a year which is now twice as expensive with four tickets. We also travel overseas every year or two years and have to rent a larger car than we'd done previously. And if not camping or staying with family we have to rent a larger apartment or vacation rental for the four of us.

So really, OP, don't let the freaking nutty people on this thread persuade you that it's normal to drop thousands on summer camp and sports and pool membership and on buying McMansions in the burbs in a good school district with all the other Stepford wives. This is a very skewed audience. Normal people work out how they can feed their kids and keep them in clothes and shoes, rather than justifying just how talented their kid is so that they feel better about dropping $300 a month on violin lessons.

Signed - parent of two kids, very comfortable with an HHI of about $95k

Nothing you say after this line has any meaning.

I can't even...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

#chiponthyshoulder

Well you'd have a chip on your shoulder too if you walked around all day with the sneaking suspicion that people were laughing at you behind you back for being kind of, um, dim. "Right" if passsage, indeed.

I'm not PP, but are you kidding? You're calling someone ELSE dim?

Anonymous wrote:This thread is enlightening.

This is exactly why you rich people complain that you can't make it on $300k a year.

We have a wonderful family life and feel very lucky with where we're at financially and what we can do, but I have absolutely ZERO inclination to spend money on things that the rich idiots on this thread claim are essential for their children.

Our children are still young - 7 and 4 - but have cost us relatively little. We live in the same house we lived in pre kids and drive the same car, kids get a lot of their clothes from thrift stores, go to public charter schools, we've never paid a dime for child care (work out our schedules around the kids, trade babysitting with neighbors and friends). They eat what we eat and always have done - not much added to our grocery bill. When they were younger we used cloth diapers and breastfed, no interest in spending money for formula when it's free, warm and convenient straight from the breast. Also potty trained both and completely rid of diapers including overnight before age 2. We have an HMO which covers all our medical needs and costs less per month than our pre-kid insurance.

We go out much less now that we have kids. We drink less with kids than we used to. No more theater tickets or comedy tickets, or nights out to see live music. Or at least not very often. Ditto the movies. We socialize in different ways now but overall, likely save money.

My kids don't go to expensive camps, they are not signed up for expensive sports or activities. We do activities together as a family every weekend, go to the library often, have playdates. Take advantage of neighborhood activities (free) or those offered by parks and rec, including their summer camp.

Our biggest additional expense from kids is travel. While we now take them camping for a weekend a few times a summer when pre kids we might have stayed in a B and B, we also fly a couple of times a year which is now twice as expensive with four tickets. We also travel overseas every year or two years and have to rent a larger car than we'd done previously. And if not camping or staying with family we have to rent a larger apartment or vacation rental for the four of us.

So really, OP, don't let the freaking nutty people on this thread persuade you that it's normal to drop thousands on summer camp and sports and pool membership and on buying McMansions in the burbs in a good school district with all the other Stepford wives. This is a very skewed audience. Normal people work out how they can feed their kids and keep them in clothes and shoes, rather than justifying just how talented their kid is so that they feel better about dropping $300 a month on violin lessons.

Signed - parent of two kids, very comfortable with an HHI of about $95k

Nothing you say after this line has any meaning.

This thread is enlightening.

This is exactly why you rich people complain that you can't make it on $300k a year.

We have a wonderful family life and feel very lucky with where we're at financially and what we can do, but I have absolutely ZERO inclination to spend money on things that the rich idiots on this thread claim are essential for their children.

Our children are still young - 7 and 4 - but have cost us relatively little. We live in the same house we lived in pre kids and drive the same car, kids get a lot of their clothes from thrift stores, go to public charter schools, we've never paid a dime for child care (work out our schedules around the kids, trade babysitting with neighbors and friends). They eat what we eat and always have done - not much added to our grocery bill. When they were younger we used cloth diapers and breastfed, no interest in spending money for formula when it's free, warm and convenient straight from the breast. Also potty trained both and completely rid of diapers including overnight before age 2. We have an HMO which covers all our medical needs and costs less per month than our pre-kid insurance.

We go out much less now that we have kids. We drink less with kids than we used to. No more theater tickets or comedy tickets, or nights out to see live music. Or at least not very often. Ditto the movies. We socialize in different ways now but overall, likely save money.

My kids don't go to expensive camps, they are not signed up for expensive sports or activities. We do activities together as a family every weekend, go to the library often, have playdates. Take advantage of neighborhood activities (free) or those offered by parks and rec, including their summer camp.

Our biggest additional expense from kids is travel. While we now take them camping for a weekend a few times a summer when pre kids we might have stayed in a B and B, we also fly a couple of times a year which is now twice as expensive with four tickets. We also travel overseas every year or two years and have to rent a larger car than we'd done previously. And if not camping or staying with family we have to rent a larger apartment or vacation rental for the four of us.

So really, OP, don't let the freaking nutty people on this thread persuade you that it's normal to drop thousands on summer camp and sports and pool membership and on buying McMansions in the burbs in a good school district with all the other Stepford wives. This is a very skewed audience. Normal people work out how they can feed their kids and keep them in clothes and shoes, rather than justifying just how talented their kid is so that they feel better about dropping $300 a month on violin lessons.

Signed - parent of two kids, very comfortable with an HHI of about $95k

You're all right. Kids don't cost anything. Have 12.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

Um, even rec sports and "normal" activities cost hundreds of dollars a year. None of the people I know who do travel sports think their kids are going to make it as a pro; the kids mostly really love to play and want to do it at a competitive level. Our kids all tried out various sports - soccer, teeball, karate, diving, tennis, and the only one they did seriously was swimming.

You need a stay at home parent if you're going to have that "right of passage" empty summer, or you need to hire a summer babysitter, which is just as much money as camp. I had the long, boring summers as a child and would have given anything to go to the camps that my kids attend.

No they don't. Are you familiar with DC parks and rec?

http://dpr.dc.gov/node/539752

$250 for swim team

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

Um, even rec sports and "normal" activities cost hundreds of dollars a year. None of the people I know who do travel sports think their kids are going to make it as a pro; the kids mostly really love to play and want to do it at a competitive level. Our kids all tried out various sports - soccer, teeball, karate, diving, tennis, and the only one they did seriously was swimming.

You need a stay at home parent if you're going to have that "right of passage" empty summer, or you need to hire a summer babysitter, which is just as much money as camp. I had the long, boring summers as a child and would have given anything to go to the camps that my kids attend.

No they don't. Are you familiar with DC parks and rec?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

#chiponthyshoulder

Whoa! I obviously struck a chord! Such interesting reactions. Maybe all of you have chips on your shoulders and feel guilt for ignoring your kids? I dunno...hmmm....

How old are your kids? I think age makes a big difference.

Our summer pool is now almost $ 500.00 so not cheap. We join for younger ones who do swimteam but for my teen - after the first week there are no teen kids hanging out all day at the pool. I did but small town in the late 80's and only from age 8-13 then I babysat, worked in the summers starting about 14.

Have no desire for kid to be 1% but one has real talent in music and a sport. Loves it and keeps busy. Not looking for scholarships or for career. Again, after age 10-11 very few kids hanging out all day in summer.

Don't shove our kids/ teens in camp. They ask to go to church camps, music camps, scout camps. They earn a bit through fundraising but really we pay. I don't think any of this is extreme or makes me feel guilty that I am ignoring my kids! I loved the early years where summer meant library, splash parks, neighborhood parks, friemds in the backyard on a blanket. However, that does not last. Older kids/ teens want to do things. I'm late 40's and i had a job in teen years, went to church camps, went to a sports camp and my parents were not rich. If your kids are not older, I guess you have not seen it yet. It is not like you describe above. Sorry for typos!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

#chiponthyshoulder

Well you'd have a chip on your shoulder too if you walked around all day with the sneaking suspicion that people were laughing at you behind you back for being kind of, um, dim. "Right" if passsage, indeed.

I am not sure why you are such a sad person and why you need to attack others, i will pray for you.

Ugh, don't pray for me when I didn't ask you to. You are wasting your time and energy. You could better use the time educating yourself so you know the difference between a rite and a right. If you must pray, pray for the Nationals to stop playing like crap.

You might want to educate yourself on how blogs work, I clearly did not write right of passage. I will pray that you obtain reading comprehension skill. I'd rather watch paint dry that the Nats.

Anonymous wrote:kids cost $20/per hour to exist ...

add anything on top of just existing then you have to increase the rate (sports and sports equipment, art and art supplies, instruments and lessons and music, toy interests, electronics and apps, books, medical needs and medicines, special education needs (challenges or advanced), camps, food, clothing (double if you have a girl), shoes, teeth, eyes, psychiatric care, vacations, travel, friends' birthday parties, proms, cars and insurance, tutoring, application fees, books, apps, specialty child items for diet and grooming, summer entertainment like pools, bail, teacher gifts, school donation).

Now multiply that by how long you expect they'll live in your house.

Asking this question suggests that you took a lot for granted with your parents.

That number results in 174,720 / yr, which is obviously high.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

#chiponthyshoulder

Well you'd have a chip on your shoulder too if you walked around all day with the sneaking suspicion that people were laughing at you behind you back for being kind of, um, dim. "Right" if passsage, indeed.

I am not sure why you are such a sad person and why you need to attack others, i will pray for you.

Ugh, don't pray for me when I didn't ask you to. You are wasting your time and energy. You could better use the time educating yourself so you know the difference between a rite and a right. If you must pray, pray for the Nationals to stop playing like crap.

go use fairfax county park takes, or the equivalent for your jurisdiction. Classes are relatively cheap for arts and sports even equestrian activities. Closer to $8-12 dollars a class.

Not sure why a kid would need more than 1 pair of sneakers at a time.

kids cost $20/per hour to exist ...

add anything on top of just existing then you have to increase the rate (sports and sports equipment, art and art supplies, instruments and lessons and music, toy interests, electronics and apps, books, medical needs and medicines, special education needs (challenges or advanced), camps, food, clothing (double if you have a girl), shoes, teeth, eyes, psychiatric care, vacations, travel, friends' birthday parties, proms, cars and insurance, tutoring, application fees, books, apps, specialty child items for diet and grooming, summer entertainment like pools, bail, teacher gifts, school donation).

Now multiply that by how long you expect they'll live in your house.

Asking this question suggests that you took a lot for granted with your parents.

Anonymous wrote:I would say the most expensive parts are actually "optional" expenses.

1) You can choose to let your kids dance and travel sports teams take over your lives and expenses in hopes that they will be part of the .0001% that "make it" as a pro....OR you can treat their sport as just that, an extracurricular activity that keeps you busy on the weekends.

2) Most around here shove their kids into expensive summer camps from June 15-August 15th, thus taking away their "right of passage" of having a summer where all they do is go to the pool and hang out with friends.

these two things alone will suck the life out of your life savings.

Um, even rec sports and "normal" activities cost hundreds of dollars a year. None of the people I know who do travel sports think their kids are going to make it as a pro; the kids mostly really love to play and want to do it at a competitive level. Our kids all tried out various sports - soccer, teeball, karate, diving, tennis, and the only one they did seriously was swimming.

You need a stay at home parent if you're going to have that "right of passage" empty summer, or you need to hire a summer babysitter, which is just as much money as camp. I had the long, boring summers as a child and would have given anything to go to the camps that my kids attend.

Most of the things people mentioned were not superfluous things like PP above just mentioned. A kid is a human. Humans cost money to feed, clothe, and shelter. I cost money, and I don't take fancy lessons and go on fancy trips.

It's not crazy to sign your kid up for little league, piano, and ballet, none of which is free. Those are pretty normal ways to teach your kid how to do things so they have some hobbies when they grow up. Nobody wants to be a bore who only knows how to play with sticks and rocks.