Where are the fathers in this scenario?

OP you have been told you're being unreasonable. Flaming everyone here is proving that point.

Anonymous wrote:OP, why did you even come here with the fucking question in the title of your thread? You have clearly been told that you are being unreasonable but you're going to double down in your infinite wisdom that you are right. The truth is, your just a selfish bitch.

Are you really so incensed that you need to use language like this? Please try to restrain yourself. If you can't hold it together on an Internet forum I shudder to think what you are like in real life.

I think SIL is being unreasonable. Sleeping isn't working. A very short nap followed by helping out post-work would be appropriate. Not doing bedtime, etc is not. Being tired sucks, but a couple of hours of sleep should be enough to power through (the way everyone seems to expect from OP). I would feel guilty as hell acting like the SIL. And yes, I am a working mom with a full time job.

Oh man OP. Your poor family. Your poor baby. The time spent with you must be trying. No wonder your mom is exhausted-- it isn't from your baby.

I think SIL is being unreasonable. Sleeping isn't working. A very short nap followed by helping out post-work would be appropriate. Not doing bedtime, etc is not. Being tired sucks, but a couple of hours of sleep should be enough to power through (the way everyone seems to expect from OP). I would feel guilty as hell acting like the SIL. And yes, I am a working mom with a full time job.

OP, why did you even come here with the fucking question in the title of your thread? You have clearly been told that you are being unreasonable but you're going to double down in your infinite wisdom that you are right. The truth is, your just a selfish bitch.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry DEAR but...what? I honestly don't understand the point of your post. Hurrah you've had a bunch of kids and your life is hard and you know other people with kids. What does that have to do with MY mom being tired?

You don't get much, do you? No wonder you haven't yet figure out why you're the unreasonable one in this situation.

I'm wondering why you couldn't figure out a way to care for your child and help care for your nephew without exhausting your mother or making your sister-in-law be sleep deprived. One hour of sleep in 2 days? Amazing.

As I said earlier today, if you really didn't want your nephew to have to wait an extra 30 minutes, then you wake up your mother, go pick up your SIL and nephew from the airport, come home and tell your mother and SIL to go to bed and you watch both kids for a few hours until they wake up.

What my comment had to do with your mother is that you're the one who is exhausting her by having her help you with your child for a week, get up at 4:30 in the morning to watch your child and then let her fulfill her promise to watch your nephew for the day, on little sleep and then try to blame it on your sister-in-law for taking a 4 hour nap after an all-night plane ride with her toddler son. If you had stepped up and been an adult instead of a jealous daughter, then maybe you could have helped your mother and sister in law out so that neither one of them was exhausted, but you didn't.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with poster above.....

Or at least OP if you can't be generous and help out with nephew you could at least STFU. Be happy with help you got, care for your own little one, and let sister in law and grandma work it out themselves.

STFU to whom pp? Did I ever indicate that I confronted SIL or my mom? I vented about an annoying issue on an anonymous forum. If you don't care to hear me vent, you don't need to wade through this thread.

OP again- God no wonder all of your mother in laws hate you people. You just view them as free child care for your exhausted selves- you don't realize what entitled pains you are by dropping off the kids at grandma's house. You don't seem to realize that maybe grandma could use a hand with the dishes after watching your kids all day.

Sorry DEAR but...what? I honestly don't understand the point of your post. Hurrah you've had a bunch of kids and your life is hard and you know other people with kids. What does that have to do with MY mom being tired?

Agree with poster above.....

Or at least OP if you can't be generous and help out with nephew you could at least STFU. Be happy with help you got, care for your own little one, and let sister in law and grandma work it out themselves.

Anonymous wrote:So to clarify, it's not the 8 hours of childcare I have an issue with. It's the TWENTY FOUR hour childcare I have an issue with. SIL flew in, napped until it was time for her to work, and after her work hours didn't care to help my mom with any of the housework, AND my mom put nephew to bed.

You're not making this any better. You're still being selfish and a bad in-law. If I were in her shoes, I would not visit when you were there. You really can't see how catty and bitchy you're being, can you? You've worn out your mother for a week, SIL comes in for one day based on the promise that grandma would look after her grandchild, but you've already exhausted her and are now trying to blame this on your SIL? Amazing.

Sorry, dear, but I don't understand why it is so hard for you to pitch in and help your mother care for two grandchildren for a day or two. And lest you think I have no understanding of what you're going through, I have twins that have been through both stages of those children. I cared for two infants and for two toddlers by myself. I can't believe that two of you can't care for two children without complaining about your exhausted SIL. I know several mothers of 3 and 4 children who do what you had to do today, every day, by themselves without complaining as much as you did. Give her a break. You've had help for a week and you can't pay it forward and help out your nephew for a day? Unbelievable.

So to clarify, it's not the 8 hours of childcare I have an issue with. It's the TWENTY FOUR hour childcare I have an issue with. SIL flew in, napped until it was time for her to work, and after her work hours didn't care to help my mom with any of the housework, AND my mom put nephew to bed.

Op, you are really really wrong here. Your SIL came under the agreement that your mom would watch her kid so sche could work. Childcare arrangements can't be renigged after someone has flown cross country. Your mom made a promise, and childcare for a working mother (with a real job) is no small deal. If you will be returning to a real job after maternity leave, you will figure this out. You are being terrible, and if she senses your feelings she will hate your guts, and rightly so.

OP, your mother offered to watch your nephew 8 hours each day. This is the issue you should be addressing with her - not your SIL. You may feel that the arrangement is unfair to your mother, but she offered it. SIL agreed to fly cross country with a toddler under the assumption that she had full-time childcare. If she thought she would have to use her vacation time visiting with you and entertaining/cleaning up after her in-law's drop-in friends, I doubt she would've come. It sounds like you have issues with their prior visits - why didn't you advise your mother against making this arrangement?