Anonymous
03/21/2015 16:32
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
Feck no. If I wanted a dog (or five) in my house, I'D HAVE a dog (or five) of my own. I think this is beyond ballsy to expect you to play host to five effing dogs in your house
Anonymous
03/21/2015 16:31
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
OP,
DH and I always say no to guest dogs in our house. No explanations necessary. To be fair, only one friend has made the request. Most dog-owners are well aware that they can't bring dogs to visit at other people's houses.
When we get our own dog, the rule will be the same - still no guest dogs in our house.
Anonymous
03/21/2015 16:29
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
Anonymous wrote:We always bring our dog and our families always bring their dogs. We enjoy it though and like seeing the dogs play. DH and I were just commenting on this the other day how all our friends and family are dog people.
I'm not a psycho dog person, but I don't think I would enjoy Christmas without my dog. I just wouldn't go.
This is the exact definition of "psycho dog person". You'd skip the Holidays with FAMILY to spend time with your dog?
Anonymous
03/21/2015 16:27
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
I don't think it's rude to ask to bring a reasonably well behaved dog. The host can say no if it makes them uncomfortable. I would.
Anonymous
03/21/2015 16:10
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
If it were my house they can board the dogs, leave them home with a pet sitter, IDC but no way in hell are they bringing them to my house.
Even 1 is inconsiderate but 5... that's completely beyond the pale and they are rude for even asking.
Even 1 is inconsiderate but 5... that's completely beyond the pale and they are rude for even asking.
Anonymous
03/21/2015 09:04
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
They board their pet or hire a pet sitter or drop in.
Anonymous
03/20/2015 13:28
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
Also some of the dogs are small dogs. I have a small dog and they are notorious for not getting along with other dogs, they have "issues". This is a recipe for disaster.
Anonymous
03/20/2015 13:06
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
^I really don't see this as that much work for me. Spouse will be handling all of the setup and cleanup associated with the dogs.
I'm not worried at all about a dog fight. They've all been together and get along fine (minus the one who is always kept isolated).
I'm not worried at all about a dog fight. They've all been together and get along fine (minus the one who is always kept isolated).
Anonymous
03/20/2015 12:52
Subject: Re:Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
OP, it's nice you want to please your spouse. And please the family members. But you are all about pleasing -- way too much about pleasing.
Is your husband somehow pressing you to make this happen? You say he's fine with it. But I think you're not, at heart, since you are having to tie yourself into knots coming up with ideas and compromises. Why does his "fine with it" trump your "this is a ton of work for me"?
Tell him that five dogs in a strange environment that is new to them, especially with one dog who "does not play well with others" so to speak, is a recipe for a dog fight at some point. And if the relatives stay in local dog-friendly hotels instead of with you, they will spend much of their time --that should be spent with your family -- walking the dogs, tending the dogs, worrying about whether the dogs are chewing up the hotel room, complaining about how they had to leave the dogs in the room, or bringing the dogs with them for the whole day since they couldn't leave the dogs alone in the room....
They are adults. They need to act like adults and take responsibility for boarding their own dogs near their own homes. This trip is to see your husband your family. He should be able to explain to them that mixing dogs who don't "know" each other in a setting that is strange to the dogs is extremely unwise and they cannot bring their dogs.
And OP, you need to stand firm and stop coming up with option after option to please other people here. Do you have a "keep the peace, make everyone happy" pattern to your personality? If so -- this is the deal-breaker for that. Unless you want dog fights, or dogs snarling at your kids because the dogs are so wound up over strange house and strange dogs.
Is your husband somehow pressing you to make this happen? You say he's fine with it. But I think you're not, at heart, since you are having to tie yourself into knots coming up with ideas and compromises. Why does his "fine with it" trump your "this is a ton of work for me"?
Tell him that five dogs in a strange environment that is new to them, especially with one dog who "does not play well with others" so to speak, is a recipe for a dog fight at some point. And if the relatives stay in local dog-friendly hotels instead of with you, they will spend much of their time --that should be spent with your family -- walking the dogs, tending the dogs, worrying about whether the dogs are chewing up the hotel room, complaining about how they had to leave the dogs in the room, or bringing the dogs with them for the whole day since they couldn't leave the dogs alone in the room....
They are adults. They need to act like adults and take responsibility for boarding their own dogs near their own homes. This trip is to see your husband your family. He should be able to explain to them that mixing dogs who don't "know" each other in a setting that is strange to the dogs is extremely unwise and they cannot bring their dogs.
And OP, you need to stand firm and stop coming up with option after option to please other people here. Do you have a "keep the peace, make everyone happy" pattern to your personality? If so -- this is the deal-breaker for that. Unless you want dog fights, or dogs snarling at your kids because the dogs are so wound up over strange house and strange dogs.
Anonymous
03/20/2015 12:36
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
I love dogs but I wouldn't want to spend my holidays trying to ride herd over 5 unfamiliar dogs in my house.
Another option is for some of these folks to stay in a dog friendly hotel with their dog. The people can then visit you and leave the dog(s) in their hotel room.
Another option is for some of these folks to stay in a dog friendly hotel with their dog. The people can then visit you and leave the dog(s) in their hotel room.
Anonymous
03/20/2015 12:28
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
Anonymous wrote:We're going to be doing Thanksgiving or Xmas at our house so spouse's family will be coming and they want to bring their pets. It's a total of five dogs among MIL and FIL, BIL and SIL. The dogs are 2 small ones (poodles maybe) and 3 medium sized dogs. We don't have any dogs. One of the dogs doesn't play well with others so that one has to be kept down in the basement by itself. That one dog is always isolated regardless of where the holidays are held so I assume if that dog comes that will be the case at our house.
I'm looking to expand my list of options that I can discuss with my spouse to handle this. Here's my list so far which is in no particular ranking order. Also, this is just a range of options that are available, it's not to suggest that any option is more or less reasonable than the others.
1. All or some of the dogs are boarded elsewhere (possibly up by us, possibly near where they live a few hours away)
2. Friends of SIL/BIL/FIL and MIL watch the dogs at their houses
3. Dogs come to our house and can roam freely (except the one dog that can't be around the others)
4. Dogs can roam mostly freely but are restricted from certain areas of the house (anywhere that has carpet for example)
5. Dogs are confined to a certain space (perhaps the mudroom?)
6. Perhaps the dogs feet can be wrapped in something and they can wear doggy diapers. I'm not sure if this is even possible or if this product exists.
I'm really looking more for ideas to present to spouse here to come up with something that works for both of us so whatever you have to offer would be appreciated. Obviously once spouse and I agree family members still have to agree as well but I assume we'll come up with three workable options and hopefully one of those will work for the family. Thanks!
Funny. My MIL actually does not allow our dog, but allows anyone else's. Can you say B*TCH?
Anonymous
03/20/2015 12:26
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
Anonymous wrote:Personally, I find it insane that anyone would even ask to bring a pet to someone else's house. I have a dog, and I'd never ask to bring her. No relative has ever asked me to bring her either. I find boarding for her here. Yes, it's expensive, but it's part of owning a pet.
+10000
Anonymous
03/20/2015 12:19
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
Anonymous wrote:I have had way to many holidays with relatives dogs and all I can say is NOT IN MY HOUSE! You already know that one of the dogs is unfriendly. Do you have a child? This alone would make it a no go for me. Your child comes first and your spouse should be on board with this. Crazy for him to not back you up on this.
We don't have kids. I don't think any of the dogs are dangerous. The two smaller ones (MILs dogs) can be annoying but they're poodles and very timid. One of the medium sized ones is older and blind (BIL's dog) so he just kinda walks around bumping into things. The other medium sized one is middle aged and I think it's a terrier maybe? BIL always describe him as mischievous so maybe he goes in the mudroom with the blind dog. They live together with BIL so they get along. We could even leave the mudroom door open and put up a baby gate there so they could see their dogs and...you know...feel like the dogs are eating with us or whatever.
Actually, the owner of the unfriendly dog (SIL) has the young child and supposedly the dog is good with her just not with other dogs. I dunno, like I said, I don't know anything about dogs so I'm taking that one at face value based upon how that particular dog has been handled during prior holidays. He'll be in the basement, I don't think there's any disagreement there.
I like the idea of putting down a tarp and baby gates (perhaps in the morning room) to protect the floor for the other two dogs. That'll hopefully prevent damage from their nails.
Anonymous
03/20/2015 12:12
Subject: Re:Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't understand all the hostility. When we go to my parents' for the holidays, there are five dogs between my parents and my siblings. We are dog people and love seeing the dogs play with each other in the backyard. The dogs are all well-behaved and house-trained, so there are no issues with accidents or chewing furniture, etc. I don't think it's that crazy to bring your dog to your relative's house for the holidays, TBH.
That's great, and that is a completely different situation from what OP has described.
My whole family loves dogs, and from time to time when visiting relatives have brought their pets along. However, I can tell you that if you described OP's situation to my family of dog lovers, there response would be NO WAY! That's not going to be a good experience for anyone.
Agree with PP that pet owners need to understand their pet is ultimately their responsibility.
Not an exact analogy, but similar to folks who have kids and want exceptions made for them for an adults-only wedding. It's extremely rude.
Anonymous
03/20/2015 11:59
Subject: Inlaws visiting, what to do with their pets?
I have had way to many holidays with relatives dogs and all I can say is NOT IN MY HOUSE! You already know that one of the dogs is unfriendly. Do you have a child? This alone would make it a no go for me. Your child comes first and your spouse should be on board with this. Crazy for him to not back you up on this.