Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not like the exclusiveness. It means someone is left out.

In my experience, rush is a matching process (both the sorority and the women give preferences) and there is a spot in a sorority for anyone who wants to join. Some people may not get their #1 choice but there is a place for everyone.

It's a matching process based on looks, clothes and money. If that's what you value, then go for it.

Anonymous wrote:I do not like the exclusiveness. It means someone is left out.

In my experience, rush is a matching process (both the sorority and the women give preferences) and there is a spot in a sorority for anyone who wants to join. Some people may not get their #1 choice but there is a place for everyone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i was Greek and think it was an incredibly important training ground. Rush and other social functions offer amazing opportunities to learn how to engage with all kinds of people and make conversations (I could probably charm the pants off of that stupid small minded woman who would disown her daughter for joining a sorority.)

Of all the things I took away from my college experience, the social Skills learned in the sorority are the ones I use daily in the workplace. My husband is high level finance, and it's very much the same case. In most careers, you have to have a brain and social skills to advance to leadership positions. CEOs have to go to at lot of parties....

Except engaging with people who were excluded.

Did you not know how to make conversation when you went away to school? And your sorority was where you learned how to make conversation?

Seriously?

I don't know what to tell you. Life isn't fair and every person, sorority or not, self-selects somehow. I'm sure you have excluded someone at some point in your life (probably because they were in a sorority!). All I know for certain is that during rush and other social events during Greek life forced me to learn socializing with strangers skills that I still use (frequently) today. Even coming from a very social family, that time in my sorority helped. I also had a to. Of fun and made great friends. So it was a win for me. Do t k ow what else to tell you..

If it takes excluding people to make you feel included, it is a sad state of affairs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i was Greek and think it was an incredibly important training ground. Rush and other social functions offer amazing opportunities to learn how to engage with all kinds of people and make conversations (I could probably charm the pants off of that stupid small minded woman who would disown her daughter for joining a sorority.)

Of all the things I took away from my college experience, the social Skills learned in the sorority are the ones I use daily in the workplace. My husband is high level finance, and it's very much the same case. In most careers, you have to have a brain and social skills to advance to leadership positions. CEOs have to go to at lot of parties....

Except engaging with people who were excluded.

Did you not know how to make conversation when you went away to school? And your sorority was where you learned how to make conversation?

Seriously?

I don't know what to tell you. Life isn't fair and every person, sorority or not, self-selects somehow. I'm sure you have excluded someone at some point in your life (probably because they were in a sorority!). All I know for certain is that during rush and other social events during Greek life forced me to learn socializing with strangers skills that I still use (frequently) today. Even coming from a very social family, that time in my sorority helped. I also had a to. Of fun and made great friends. So it was a win for me. Do t k ow what else to tell you..

That is pathetic.

I couldn't afford to be in a sorority. I could barely afford college. Maybe I didn't get all of these great social skills, but I learned some other skills. And I think I'm okay socially anyway since I came from a big family and I'm pretty accepting of different kinds of people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:i was Greek and think it was an incredibly important training ground. Rush and other social functions offer amazing opportunities to learn how to engage with all kinds of people and make conversations (I could probably charm the pants off of that stupid small minded woman who would disown her daughter for joining a sorority.)

Of all the things I took away from my college experience, the social Skills learned in the sorority are the ones I use daily in the workplace. My husband is high level finance, and it's very much the same case. In most careers, you have to have a brain and social skills to advance to leadership positions. CEOs have to go to at lot of parties....

Except engaging with people who were excluded.

Did you not know how to make conversation when you went away to school? And your sorority was where you learned how to make conversation?

Seriously?

I don't know what to tell you. Life isn't fair and every person, sorority or not, self-selects somehow. I'm sure you have excluded someone at some point in your life (probably because they were in a sorority!). All I know for certain is that during rush and other social events during Greek life forced me to learn socializing with strangers skills that I still use (frequently) today. Even coming from a very social family, that time in my sorority helped. I also had a to. Of fun and made great friends. So it was a win for me. Do t k ow what else to tell you..

Anonymous wrote:i was Greek and think it was an incredibly important training ground. Rush and other social functions offer amazing opportunities to learn how to engage with all kinds of people and make conversations (I could probably charm the pants off of that stupid small minded woman who would disown her daughter for joining a sorority.)

Of all the things I took away from my college experience, the social Skills learned in the sorority are the ones I use daily in the workplace. My husband is high level finance, and it's very much the same case. In most careers, you have to have a brain and social skills to advance to leadership positions. CEOs have to go to at lot of parties....

Except engaging with people who were excluded.

Did you not know how to make conversation when you went away to school? And your sorority was where you learned how to make conversation?

Seriously?

Anonymous wrote:I was in a sorority. As I got older and had new interests in politics and things that would further my desire to go to law school (another thing I regret doing), the sorority would "punish" me for missing events. I'd have to do service to the sorority for being at the state democratic convention instead of bonding with my "sisters" at a retreat. I should have just quit but they made that such a humiliating process I didn't do it.

I hope my kids never want to join a sorority or fraternity. But if they did, I'd talk to them about choosing one that values more than looks and popularity. As a freshman, the cool girls appealed to me. As a senior, I wished I'd joined the "dorkier" sorority where women had a variety of goals and perspectives.

I went to a local school (DC area) and was also much less involved in my sorority junior and senior year. Freshman/sophomore year it was a great way to meet people at a large school and have a sense of "identity". But once internships, jobs, etc took priority the sorority wasn't the center focus of my college life anymore.

I never had a problem with anyone complaining about my not showing up to events though, but that's likely because every sorority/chapter is different. I'm sorry you went through that--that sounds in-sisterly.

I do not like the exclusiveness. It means someone is left out.

If she keeps her grades up, she should be able to join whatever group she wants.

Loved my sorority. I went to a large big 10 school and it made the experience smaller.

I didn't want to be in a sorority when I was in college, because I thought it was all those nasty cliquey girls like in HS. Now that I'm an adult and hopefully wiser, I can see that my assumption was just as prejudiced as I thought they would be. I've met some really nice women who were sorority girls in their day. Now I can see there are real benefits to joining - things that PPs have mentioned like learning poise and making connections. Kinda wish there were sororities for midlife women

I would find out why and look at schools addressing that need. So if she likes the idea of having a built-in social network, look at schools known for a housing system that lasts 4 years and helps create that feel. If she is interested in professional connections, I'd investigate career services, etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My understanding (went to a school with no Greek life) is that sororities are very different at different schools. It's good that she has identified this as important to her so that when you look at schools, you can also ask questions about the sororities on campus.

This is absolutely the case. Not only do the Greek scenes vary from school to school, each sorority also varies. I was in a sorority and am still friends with some of the girls today (at age 50). Surprisingly, one of the most important skills I learned in the sorority was to get along with people that I would have never spent time with otherwise. Trust your daughter's gut. When she gets to her chosen campus, she can explore Greek life and make a decision. I didn't rush until my second year. Many of my fondest memories are from frat/sorority exchanges. I managed to work 20 hours a week, take 6 extra credits per semester, and enjoy Greek life -- and get scholarships for my full tuition and board.

Much of the same here. I rushed sophomore year when I felt more settled at school. Still friends with my big sister today, but full disclosure we were friends before the sorority.

I agree on the skills I learned in the sorority being important life skills. I actually credit my active listening skills in part to Greek life. It is a big part of the rush process. Also as PP mentioned I become friends with people I might not otherwise have met.

And of course I credit my ability to be in about of the ladies room in about a minute and my massage skills to the sorority as well.

I think you daughter just needs to make wise choices. Greek life isn't for everyone but if it is for you it is great. You are not buying friends. What you pay for is room and board (which you would have to pay for anyway) and membership into a group with activities in which you can participate.

It is no more buying friends than paying to be on your county soccer team.

i was Greek and think it was an incredibly important training ground. Rush and other social functions offer amazing opportunities to learn how to engage with all kinds of people and make conversations (I could probably charm the pants off of that stupid small minded woman who would disown her daughter for joining a sorority.)

Of all the things I took away from my college experience, the social Skills learned in the sorority are the ones I use daily in the workplace. My husband is high level finance, and it's very much the same case. In most careers, you have to have a brain and social skills to advance to leadership positions. CEOs have to go to at lot of parties....

I think their are pros and cons to sororities. The biggest problem will be all the money needed to meet all the expectations, as others have pointed out. If you don't want her to eventually join, she will need to fund it herself.