Anonymous wrote:So she does not have the right to know who is caring for her child? When ex is in Vegas and daughter is with girlfriend, not even the new wife, she does not have the right to know?

No, she doesn't. She has no such rights at all. That is his private life. None of her business, period.

I get why you want to know if another adult us
Irving with your child. But why do you want a relationship with her?

OP Here. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I can tell you I rarely talk to my daughter about her dad. We have our own lives and I have recreated a life for ourselves. This crap only comes up when he pulls this BS.

Yes, in the past I did get upset because I asked him not to introduce the GF yet, as we had just moved again and it was really really hard on my daughter. In that move she realized that we were not getting back together. Very long winded but it was really really tough, she hated my new apt, begged to go back to my old one and literally started hoarding, not throwing anything away. She didn't want a pet because she would miss it too much when it died. (Once I saw this, I took her to therapy. She went for 6 months. Did wonders). Of course it was the perfect time for a major introroductin.

Within one month he introduced M, had her sleep over, my daughter saw her in his bed (the same bed she saw me sleeping in), babysit her and would say things like - but Mom, she does everything you do??? Yep, confused.

It is one side of the story but I can tell you in very vague pretenses that at one point child protective services had to be called over his BS (because dancing naked in front of a 6 year old is distrubing at best, and her therapist reported it) and even last Labor Day weekend he didn't like something I did, drove up to my street and snatched my daughter from me on the side of the street when I was about to host a sleepover for the girls. And the next day told my daughter that I was supposed to apollogize to her. Can't make this shit up.

Yep, VIP day is on him. He will have to step up to the plate. I'm only going to take her to lunch afterwards and only focus on me and her as a family unit. Because the douchebag is not a part of our game plan.

So judge all you want DCUM. I know a few of you out there get it. In the end I have to coparent with a complete jerk.

Anonymous wrote:We heard that her child is concerned about her and has been requested to lie by dad. That is pretty much all we need to know.

I bet her DD is sensitive to the face that mommy acts a bit crazy when she talks about daddy. So the DD tries not to say much because mommy starts yelling and talking bad about her daddy and she wants to avoid that. Kids are smart like that. If OP was smart she would control her behavior, think of her child first and take him to court.

We heard that her child is concerned about her and has been requested to lie by dad. That is pretty much all we need to know.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm on your side. Of course you have a right to know who is caring for your child. I don't see how this is unreasonable.

Short answer: she is divorced.

What part of EX-wife don't you people understand?

So she does not have the right to know who is caring for her child? When ex is in Vegas and daughter is with girlfriend, not even the new wife, she does not have the right to know?

The meanness here is mind boggling. Come on, DCUM !

Real answer- probobly not depending on the jurisdiction and the language of the agreement. If she has right of first refusal or a non-cohabitation clause, then maybe. But those are notoriously hard to enforce.

I'm not the OP, but you guys are completely insane. Legally, those rights are hard to enforce, yes, but are you actually suggesting that the OP's ex is engaging in good parenting practices by:

a) moving a girlfriend into the house before an engagement or marriage
b) leaving a 7-year-old in the care of that live in girlfriend and going to Vegas for a couple days
c) asking the 7-year-old child to lie to her mother about living situation

On any other day, this guy would be pilloried for moving in a girlfriend at all, much less a+b+c. The idea that because the OP is divorced, she's no longer within her rights to request to know that someone else is living with her child 50% of the time and is now an authority figure for this child.

If the OP's ex had rented a room to an unknown male and then left the 7-year-old with that person to go out of town and then asked the child to lie about it, you guys would be freaking out that the unknown male could be a child molester. But now apparently the OP needs to just sit down and shut up because she got divorced and no longer has any business knowing who is involved in her kid's life.

UNBELIEVABLE.

We've only heard one side of the story so far. Calm down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm on your side. Of course you have a right to know who is caring for your child. I don't see how this is unreasonable.

Short answer: she is divorced.

What part of EX-wife don't you people understand?

So she does not have the right to know who is caring for her child? When ex is in Vegas and daughter is with girlfriend, not even the new wife, she does not have the right to know?

The meanness here is mind boggling. Come on, DCUM !

Real answer- probobly not depending on the jurisdiction and the language of the agreement. If she has right of first refusal or a non-cohabitation clause, then maybe. But those are notoriously hard to enforce.

I'm not the OP, but you guys are completely insane. Legally, those rights are hard to enforce, yes, but are you actually suggesting that the OP's ex is engaging in good parenting practices by:

a) moving a girlfriend into the house before an engagement or marriage
b) leaving a 7-year-old in the care of that live in girlfriend and going to Vegas for a couple days
c) asking the 7-year-old child to lie to her mother about living situation

On any other day, this guy would be pilloried for moving in a girlfriend at all, much less a+b+c. The idea that because the OP is divorced, she's no longer within her rights to request to know that someone else is living with her child 50% of the time and is now an authority figure for this child.

If the OP's ex had rented a room to an unknown male and then left the 7-year-old with that person to go out of town and then asked the child to lie about it, you guys would be freaking out that the unknown male could be a child molester. But now apparently the OP needs to just sit down and shut up because she got divorced and no longer has any business knowing who is involved in her kid's life.

UNBELIEVABLE.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm on your side. Of course you have a right to know who is caring for your child. I don't see how this is unreasonable.

Short answer: she is divorced.

What part of EX-wife don't you people understand?

So she does not have the right to know who is caring for her child? When ex is in Vegas and daughter is with girlfriend, not even the new wife, she does not have the right to know?

The meanness here is mind boggling. Come on, DCUM !

Real answer- probobly not depending on the jurisdiction and the language of the agreement. If she has right of first refusal or a non-cohabitation clause, then maybe. But those are notoriously hard to enforce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm on your side. Of course you have a right to know who is caring for your child. I don't see how this is unreasonable.

Short answer: she is divorced.

What part of EX-wife don't you people understand?

So she does not have the right to know who is caring for her child? When ex is in Vegas and daughter is with girlfriend, not even the new wife, she does not have the right to know?

The meanness here is mind boggling. Come on, DCUM !

Anonymous wrote:OP I'm on your side. Of course you have a right to know who is caring for your child. I don't see how this is unreasonable.

Short answer: she is divorced.

What part of EX-wife don't you people understand?

Anonymous wrote:Actually, PP you're mistaken. Sure, he can have a relationship with anyone he wants. But as soon as that person is living under the same roof as the child, all bets are off. The other parent is well within his/her bounds to know who is sharing a home with their child, whether it's a roommate, a relative or a lover.

Wrong. She has no such right because she divorced him.

Maybe therapy for you and your daughter would be a good idea since your daughter seems to be sensitive about all of this. Also, can you do VIP day instead? I've learned NEVER to count on my ex for ANYTHING. I don't even tell my kids he is coming until he parks the car and I can actually see him walking up the sidewalk. I feel for you about the new GF babysitting your DD. It is something I have always worried about myself but my ex is such a loser that he never wants to take the kids overnight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, PP you're mistaken. Sure, he can have a relationship with anyone he wants. But as soon as that person is living under the same roof as the child, all bets are off. The other parent is well within his/her bounds to know who is sharing a home with their child, whether it's a roommate, a relative or a lover.

+1

Actually unless it is written in the custody document there is nothing OP can do. Even if it is in the document OP still would have to drag his butt to court to enforce the provision and have to demonstrate to a judge why it is bad to a child.

However, her ex (like mine) is a control freak ass. Try to let it go OP and model good behavior to your daughter.

And you know this based on what evidence?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, PP you're mistaken. Sure, he can have a relationship with anyone he wants. But as soon as that person is living under the same roof as the child, all bets are off. The other parent is well within his/her bounds to know who is sharing a home with their child, whether it's a roommate, a relative or a lover.

+1

Actually unless it is written in the custody document there is nothing OP can do. Even if it is in the document OP still would have to drag his butt to court to enforce the provision and have to demonstrate to a judge why it is bad to a child.

However, her ex (like mine) is a control freak ass. Try to let it go OP and model good behavior to your daughter.

Anonymous wrote:Actually, PP you're mistaken. Sure, he can have a relationship with anyone he wants. But as soon as that person is living under the same roof as the child, all bets are off. The other parent is well within his/her bounds to know who is sharing a home with their child, whether it's a roommate, a relative or a lover.

+1