Anonymous wrote:I walked away from any and all rights to my mother's estate. My siblings were sneaky and greedy, not a description I wanted to share in. So instead of fighting them, I just closed my door and said goodbye. Best thing I ever did.

Best advice. It's unfortunate, but it's the only right thing to do.

I would want nothing to do with a sister like OP's sister.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP says: I'm really shocked at all the excuses people have tried to find for my millionaire sister -from her taking $3000 plus more additional expenses for stamps, gas and photo copies when i took nothing, to stealing. I've already made up my mind. A person like that isn't worth it.

OP, the reason you are getting the responses you are getting is not because anyone is making excuses for your sister. The fact is you cannot change your sister. The only thing you can do is go to court. Do you want to do that? If not, then the only thing you can control is yourself. If you want to stew about this for the rest of your life, it's certainly your choice. However, it seems like a healthier choice FOR YOU, not for your sister but FOR YOU, is to find a way to let it go.

Nicely put. But I don't think OP is in a place where she can hear it.

Anonymous wrote:OP says: I'm really shocked at all the excuses people have tried to find for my millionaire sister -from her taking $3000 plus more additional expenses for stamps, gas and photo copies when i took nothing, to stealing. I've already made up my mind. A person like that isn't worth it.

OP, the reason you are getting the responses you are getting is not because anyone is making excuses for your sister. The fact is you cannot change your sister. The only thing you can do is go to court. Do you want to do that? If not, then the only thing you can control is yourself. If you want to stew about this for the rest of your life, it's certainly your choice. However, it seems like a healthier choice FOR YOU, not for your sister but FOR YOU, is to find a way to let it go.

Anonymous wrote:^^^OP: I think the coins are just some other kind of power play by my sister ..... Really after four years this is all of a sudden a priority???? Like I said I'll give them whatever they want over that. But I don't get all of a sudden wanting to be extra fair about small potatoes, when the diamond issue was never resolved.

OP, just email your brother back and say "If sister is interested in the coin collection, she can contact me directly. Please don't send messages on her behalf." Click send.

OP says: I'm really shocked at all the excuses people have tried to find for my millionaire sister -from her taking $3000 plus more additional expenses for stamps, gas and photo copies when i took nothing, to stealing. I've already made up my mind. A person like that isn't worth it.

Anonymous wrote:Are you and your sister in different financial situations? Maybe she isn't as financially stable as you are and these amounts mean more to her. Not saying she's handling it correctly, but that could be influencing her thought process. If you cut her off, what does that mean for your children? My parents have a very strained relationship with my aunt, and it has made it very difficult for me to have a relationship with her.

OP says: My sister is a millionaire and I'm struggling to pay a mortgage.

Are you and your sister in different financial situations? Maybe she isn't as financially stable as you are and these amounts mean more to her. Not saying she's handling it correctly, but that could be influencing her thought process. If you cut her off, what does that mean for your children? My parents have a very strained relationship with my aunt, and it has made it very difficult for me to have a relationship with her.

Man, this thread is making me feel way better about having an only child.

Caregivers should absolutely be compensated. I think that's a red herring. In fact, I have dealt with a lot of elderly people, and those who can afford to always pay rent and their own expenses when living with their children. It's about independence and it's a smart estate planning tactic. Spend it or get taxed on it at an exorbitant rate.

You don't like your sister. You got a diamond. Move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you literally keep asking exactly the same question over and over again, no matter the variety of opinions and advice you've gotten in response. You are so deeply stuck on this issue, I don't think there's anything DCUM can do to help you. I'd recommend therapy.

This is the most coherent post in 5 pages. OP--please listen to it.

Read the post above yours from OP.

Anonymous wrote:OP, you literally keep asking exactly the same question over and over again, no matter the variety of opinions and advice you've gotten in response. You are so deeply stuck on this issue, I don't think there's anything DCUM can do to help you. I'd recommend therapy.

This is the most coherent post in 5 pages. OP--please listen to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why let it go? Who wants to associate with a thief and pretend they're not a thief? If anything, let HER go.

Anyone? How many thief friends do you have/want?

FromOP: this is when I am leaning. If someone came into my house, stole personal sentimental jewelry, even if it was a family member, I wouldn't want too much to do with with them. If it were a stranger, I would have been calling the police. This is what happened, no different. I will send my brother the coins. I was confused because I think my sister was behind brining up the coins. I was trying to figure out WHY does she care about the coins? I guess that was the question that no one here can answer. But the outcome is the same. I'll continue with my brother as I've always done, be polite to my sister. I'm very clear what I mean to her and who she is. and I'll let her/this memory go.

Anonymous wrote:Why let it go? Who wants to associate with a thief and pretend they're not a thief? If anything, let HER go.

Anyone? How many thief friends do you have/want?

Anonymous wrote:liquidate everything and divide it up

I agree with this, but OP probably won't. OP, we are in the same situation. Sister took mom in, but took every penny from her, and charged her $400. monthly rent; sister also took all belongings, (pricey) family heirlooms, (expensive and beautiful) jewelry, china, silver, furniture, grandfather clock, you get the idea. Sister knew exactly what she was doing, and sends me monthly emails trying to tell me that mother is "slipping" in her mental health. Mother is sharper than any of us, but sister wants on record that mother was "losing it", somehow. I have no more explanation than you, except to say that some people are givers, and some people are takers. Call it what you want: greedy vs. selfless, etc.

Know this: you owe your sister no explanation, and she is NOT going to change. Ever. You saw her true colors. FWIW, your sister, in this case, tried to make an effort, by dividing things up. Clearly, she did not want to take care of your mother.

Would you have wanted to do so? In our case, we are oil and water, so the option to take care of mother was not there. Besides, we have small children, and all I heard about my entire life was how amazing and flawless sister was. So mother kind of made her bed, in that regard.

Can you cut your losses and call it a day?