Anonymous wrote:This has made me realize more and more that I need to either not have kids or be a working mom. We truly get the shit end of the deal. You either work outside the home and miss out on a significant part of your child's childhood but have help and can demand equal help at home. OR you get to see your kids but become a glorified maid and cook. Shoot me now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say though, I work FT and have a PT house keeper that comes 20hrs a week and we don't have these fights in our house. Well worth the 380/wk spent.

20K a year for a PT housekeeper?
Ah, that's how the other half lives )

I suppose. I paid more in daycare, so I just took those costs when my kids were out of daycare and diverted them to a housekeeper. We have more cash flow than when they were little. daycare ran us near double that.

I think if I SAH and had to clean up after the entire family like the OP, I'd be miserable. talk about being unappreciated!

Anonymous wrote:Laundry does get done magically. You throw the clothes into a magic box and push a button. Unless you have ironing to do, it's a minor task.

Toddlers are challenging, but they also take naps. That's a good time for you to do the housework that you agreed to do when you agreed to be the SAHM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will say though, I work FT and have a PT house keeper that comes 20hrs a week and we don't have these fights in our house. Well worth the 380/wk spent.

20K a year for a PT housekeeper?
Ah, that's how the other half lives )

Anonymous wrote:1800s SAHM - "Thank the Good Lawd and Darnation that I gots what the Good Lawd gave me!"

2010s SAMH - "I AM A SLAVE!!!!"

Anonymous wrote:I am feeling so resentful of my husband right now. I feel like he's just another child in our family and I'm so sick of feeling that way. Everytime he does something I ask him to do- like empty the dishwasher, clean up after dinner, etc. He just does such a half-assed and incomplete job that it ends up being easier for me to do it myself but then the anger just bubbles up and I feel so annoyed. Then when I try to bring it up to him, it sounds so petty. I don't care that he doesn't do it my way. I know I'm type A and like things done a certain way. I've let go of that. I just want things done and he is a grown ass man. For example, last night after dinner I asked him if he wanted to clean up from dinner or start a bath for our youngest daughter. He chose clean up from dinner. I give DD a bath, get her in her pj's and put a show on for her before bed and go to the kitchen and the table still has crumbs and placemats all over, pots on stove. All he did was put the dishes in the dishwasher and walk away. So now I gave the bath AND I have to clean up the rest of dinner. This is just time number 1000 that this has happened. When he empties the dishwasher he leaves a bunch of crap on the counter because he "wasn't sure where to put them". We've been in our house for a few years and if you aren't sure, just open the cabinets and see where they go! It's not fucking rocket science. Our 7 year old can (and does) do it.

I feel like I do so many little things he doesn't even realize to make life easier for him- one small example is that after I take a shower I put the nice new dry one right next to the shower so that when he goes in it will be right there for him rather than having to walk to the other side of the bathroom and grab it. Little things every day to make life smoother. No one ever does anything like that for me. I'm an afterthought.

The other night I didn't feel like cooking dinner and said do you want to go out. He didn't care and that's when it dawned on me that for him, every night is like a fucking restaurant! He comes to the table with dinner served and then gets up and walks away when he's done. I do all the work.
Yes I'm a SAHM but I am so tired of doing it all myself, especially when he does not currently have an especially demanding job. He's home a ton and spends plenty of time on hobbies and such. I feel like an unappreciated slave. I expect this from my young kids, but not from him.
I'm so over it.
Thanks for listening to my vent.

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could build a time machine just so I could arrange a meeting between a 2010s American SAHM and a 1800s American SAHM.

I would love to hear 1800s reaction to 2010s insistence about how hard she works. Back then, SAHMs REALLY worked hard, doing all kinds of chores that most modern SAHMs have even thought about, but modern technology has made things so much easier for them.

Just think about being in a house with 5-8 children (people had more kids back then due to higher infant mortality) no washing machine (you had to wash clothes manually) no running water (you had to pump water at a well) no TVs and radio to entertain you while you work no microwaves, no modern cleaning devices. If they needed to buy something, they had to walk and carry a bag down to some general store a mile away.

SAHMs have never had it easier than they do today and yet they have NEVER COMPLAINED MORE.

Anonymous wrote:I will say though, I work FT and have a PT house keeper that comes 20hrs a week and we don't have these fights in our house. Well worth the 380/wk spent.

The other night I didn't feel like cooking dinner and said do you want to go out. He didn't care and that's when it dawned on me that for him, every night is like a fucking restaurant! He comes to the table with dinner served and then gets up and walks away when he's done. I do all the work

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could build a time machine just so I could arrange a meeting between a 2010s American SAHM and a 1800s American SAHM.

I would love to hear 1800s reaction to 2010s insistence about how hard she works. Back then, SAHMs REALLY worked hard, doing all kinds of chores that most modern SAHMs have even thought about, but modern technology has made things so much easier for them.

Just think about being in a house with 5-8 children (people had more kids back then due to higher infant mortality) no washing machine (you had to wash clothes manually) no running water (you had to pump water at a well) no TVs and radio to entertain you while you work no microwaves, no modern cleaning devices. If they needed to buy something, they had to walk and carryovers a bag down to some general store a mile away.

SAHMs have never had it easier than they do today and yet they have NEVER COMPLAINED MORE.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could build a time machine just so I could arrange a meeting between a 2010s American SAHM and a 1800s American SAHM.

I would love to hear 1800s reaction to 2010s insistence about how hard she works. Back then, SAHMs REALLY worked hard, doing all kinds of chores that most modern SAHMs have even thought about, but modern technology has made things so much easier for them.

Just think about being in a house with 5-8 children (people had more kids back then due to higher infant mortality) no washing machine (you had to wash clothes manually) no running water (you had to pump water at a well) no TVs and radio to entertain you while you work no microwaves, no modern cleaning devices. If they needed to buy something, they had to walk and carry a bag down to some general store a mile away.

SAHMs have never had it easier than they do today and yet they have NEVER COMPLAINED MORE.

If you had 5-8 children, then a few of them would be daughters and would be expected to care for the children and do all the chores along with the mother. Plus if you had any amount of money you would have a true slave doing the work, or a indentured servant.

I'm curious, have you done any period reading from the 17 and 1800s? Women complained bitterly about their lot in life.

Back then, women truly had something to complain about.