Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 11:47     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Why are these things in her reach to begin with?
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 11:26     Subject: Re:Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
OP I don't agree with those posters who think that 6 years olds don't get what they are doing and act impulsively. Unless there's an issue they are way more intuitive than that. I applaud you for looking for solutions.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 11:16     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Yes I'm still here. Thanks I can try that as well
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 11:11     Subject: Re:Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Not sure if you are still reading OP but here is what worked for my middle DD who loved to get into my stuff and my older DD's stuff. When an item that belonged to someone else was taken without permission and was broken or ruined my DD was responsible for purchasing a new one. In order to regain privileges she would need to do chores that were in addition to daily chores (think washing marks off walls, reorganizing a closet, or some other random task that needed to be done that she could handle) and she would earn money for the Extra chore. The key is that it has to be an additional chore and not regular household chores that are expected every day. Then, she would be taken to a store and buy an equal replacement and give it to the person that the original belonged to. This set up a natural consequence and taught her about the cost of items while also making it somewhat painful for her. The follow through was painful but the behavior ended fairly quickly. As an added bonus both kids will occasionally ask for extra chores to earn some some amount of cash that I keep in a change purse in my bag and they are welcome to use this money to purchase random things they want but not need.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 09:12     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Perhaps you should take your 6 year old to a therapist to figure it out. Sounds like both of you need adjustments to how you deal with each other.
What is wrong with Op? She just needs to discipline her kid. All these other posters can let their kid walk all over them, but I don't get it. She's touching things that aren't hers, and they are blaming Op. Crazy


OP clearly has no idea how to parent.

But I bet she knows how to sock puppet.


I know, right. Too funny. What are the chances of this many practically illiterate people writing in a row and sharing the same distorted view. None.
Nothing illiterate. It's not the Op, but what are the chances your kid walks all over you, and you know it. You take it out here, because you can't control your kid.


None. And if you cannot recognize grammatical idiocy then what are the chances your kid is a bit dull around the edges too. As for mine, some of the best behaved and polite kids you'll ever meet. The thing is that I value them more than some random trinket and pay attention enough to them that they aren't sneaking into my room and either trying to connect with me by playing with my precious stuff or.attempting to get attention. As for the other critique, we are squarely middle class (not scum middle class) so we cannot.replace things at whim.
This is the kind of person that probably has no relationship with her kids, they run the house, they bully other kids, etc. Look how the mom cummunicates with strangers. The apple doesn't fall fa . How you can possibly disagree that it's not OK for a 6 year old to break mom's stuff is beyond me. Your kids must be terrors.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 08:34     Subject: Re:Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
DCUM not scum- auto correct on phone
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 08:32     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Perhaps you should take your 6 year old to a therapist to figure it out. Sounds like both of you need adjustments to how you deal with each other.
What is wrong with Op? She just needs to discipline her kid. All these other posters can let their kid walk all over them, but I don't get it. She's touching things that aren't hers, and they are blaming Op. Crazy


OP clearly has no idea how to parent.

But I bet she knows how to sock puppet.


I know, right. Too funny. What are the chances of this many practically illiterate people writing in a row and sharing the same distorted view. None.
Nothing illiterate. It's not the Op, but what are the chances your kid walks all over you, and you know it. You take it out here, because you can't control your kid.


None. And if you cannot recognize grammatical idiocy then what are the chances your kid is a bit dull around the edges too. As for mine, some of the best behaved and polite kids you'll ever meet. The thing is that I value them more than some random trinket and pay attention enough to them that they aren't sneaking into my room and either trying to connect with me by playing with my precious stuff or.attempting to get attention. As for the other critique, we are squarely middle class (not scum middle class) so we cannot.replace things at whim.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 07:43     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how she is breaking so much of your stuff. Aren't you supervising her? My DS is 5 and I generally know what part of the house he is in and what he's doing. That's not to say that he could never break anything of mine, but it could not happen with great regularity.


You must have missed the post where OP said that she shouldn't have to be supervising her daughter 24/7... first you need to explain to her that yes, she should, and if the child took something from Mum's office, the office door should have been locked in the first place.



Are you kidding me? My desk is in area that does not have a door and my child has never touched anything on it without permission. In addition, I do not follow my 5 year old around like a toddler. She is happy to play independently. I said this up thread but I do not think the OP's daughter's behavior is normal and the suggestions to seek expert opinions is a good one. However, telling the OP that it is her fault for not locking an office door or letting her dd watch cartoons on Saturday is completely ridiculous.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 06:44     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. phew, not all of DCUMs readers are weird. Thank you for those of you out there who agree this is not normal behavior. This item wasn't "broken" per se. I ordered a print off of Amazon and it was in my office waiting to be hung. She took it out and damaged it. It is beyond repair. She has PLENTY of her own art supplies in her room -- paint and paper and markers, etc. It was not some shiny, awesome thing. It was a boring print. I am not sure when this happened. It was either before I got out of bed this morning (Saturdays she gets her own breakfast and watches cartoons) or when she had a playdate this afternoon. In fact maybe it was the other little girl but if so my kid was in on it or probably would have tattled.

It is not at all appropriate for a six year old to consistently break and damage items in the house. Your children must run your homes and that is very disturbing. I agree with one of the PPs though and do think though that this is about being defiant or disobediant and going directly against what she has been told for some reason. This is the crux of the issue. She is clearly testing me for some reason. Now I just need to decide do I go the expensive and slow psychologist route or the quick and cheap punishment route. Donating a toy of hers might get her to think twice next time unlike all the countless other things that I have done.



And it's not appropriate for an office door not to be locked when you're not in it. There are many items that are commonplace in an office and that a child could injure him/herself with accidentally.

Lock the frieken door.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 06:41     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how she is breaking so much of your stuff. Aren't you supervising her? My DS is 5 and I generally know what part of the house he is in and what he's doing. That's not to say that he could never break anything of mine, but it could not happen with great regularity.


You must have missed the post where OP said that she shouldn't have to be supervising her daughter 24/7... first you need to explain to her that yes, she should, and if the child took something from Mum's office, the office door should have been locked in the first place.

Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 06:38     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Anonymous wrote:It's your job to supervise a young child. Teaching her "the rules" is not enough. You don't seem to understand YOUR responsibilities. You don't turn a child loose and expect that things are going to be just fine.


This poster nailed it.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 06:36     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Anonymous wrote:You rules are too strict. She wants to play with you and your stuff. Give her some of your old stuff to play with.

You sound mean.


+1

Also, you're not 6 years old. "Mary broke my [name belonging here] so I'm going to break her [name belonging here]" is acceptable in first grade, tops. Then, one should grow up.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 04:15     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here. phew, not all of DCUMs readers are weird. Thank you for those of you out there who agree this is not normal behavior. This item wasn't "broken" per se. I ordered a print off of Amazon and it was in my office waiting to be hung. She took it out and damaged it. It is beyond repair. She has PLENTY of her own art supplies in her room -- paint and paper and markers, etc. It was not some shiny, awesome thing. It was a boring print. I am not sure when this happened. It was either before I got out of bed this morning (Saturdays she gets her own breakfast and watches cartoons) or when she had a playdate this afternoon. In fact maybe it was the other little girl but if so my kid was in on it or probably would have tattled.

It is not at all appropriate for a six year old to consistently break and damage items in the house. Your children must run your homes and that is very disturbing. I agree with one of the PPs though and do think though that this is about being defiant or disobediant and going directly against what she has been told for some reason. This is the crux of the issue. She is clearly testing me for some reason. Now I just need to decide do I go the expensive and slow psychologist route or the quick and cheap punishment route. Donating a toy of hers might get her to think twice next time unlike all the countless other things that I have done.



Oh, OP, you are a hoot. Thanks for providing the Saturday night entertainment!


I don't think this is funny at all. It's disturbing. OP, the "quick and cheap punishment route" is going to cost both you and your daughter a great deal in the long run. You're better off going with the "expensive and slow psychologist route." It won't afford you immediate gratification, which seems to be the crux of the matter here, but it's your best chance for resolving this, along with the clearly deeper, issues.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 04:09     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Anonymous wrote:OP here. phew, not all of DCUMs readers are weird. Thank you for those of you out there who agree this is not normal behavior. This item wasn't "broken" per se. I ordered a print off of Amazon and it was in my office waiting to be hung. She took it out and damaged it. It is beyond repair. She has PLENTY of her own art supplies in her room -- paint and paper and markers, etc. It was not some shiny, awesome thing. It was a boring print. I am not sure when this happened. It was either before I got out of bed this morning (Saturdays she gets her own breakfast and watches cartoons) or when she had a playdate this afternoon. In fact maybe it was the other little girl but if so my kid was in on it or probably would have tattled.

It is not at all appropriate for a six year old to consistently break and damage items in the house. Your children must run your homes and that is very disturbing. I agree with one of the PPs though and do think though that this is about being defiant or disobediant and going directly against what she has been told for some reason. This is the crux of the issue. She is clearly testing me for some reason. Now I just need to decide do I go the expensive and slow psychologist route or the quick and cheap punishment route. Donating a toy of hers might get her to think twice next time unlike all the countless other things that I have done.



1. Your kid is left alone on Saturday mornings to get her own breakfast and watch TV. And you wonder why she gets into stuff she's clearly not supposed to? What is wrong with you, OP?

2. You KNOW she had a playdate and was unsupervised the whole time? You didn't check on them.

OP, when a six year old child "takes out" a print, often the print gets ruined by the mere act of the six year old fingers opening and unrolling the print. What would you expect? They don't have adult coordination, their hands are dirty, and they are not careful of things like that. Why would they be?

Of course we discipline our kids and of course we expect them to respect things. The problem here is one of perspective. You seem to view your child as a wanton intentional criminal.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 03:50     Subject: Would it be too Mommy Dearest...?
Poor kid, op please go "the long and expensive route" it will do you good