Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not make friends with people at your church?

Because as is typical her church is full of a bunch of hateful hypocrites.

Get over it!

I haven't read beyond the first page of this thread, but based on what you've written, it sounds like the problem is people in the town you've moved to, not you.

We moved out of DC for a few years (career move). During that time, whenever I traveled anywhere, including back to DC, I noticed a huge difference between the way people treated me in my temporary home town and elsewhere. That town was sort of a nightmare. Although there were some really wonderful people who will always be in my life, most I came in contact with - professionally and socially - were transparently mean and petty. Glad I was only there temporarily.

Anonymous wrote:Why not make friends with people at your church?

Because as is typical her church is full of a bunch of hateful hypocrites.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For example, I was changing DC's diaper the other day, and a mom noticed it was cloth (hard to hide) and said, "Oh, I bet you think you're better than me because you use cloth and I use Huggies." It was strange, so strange. I didn't know what to say and just muttered something about it being cheaper. I have a really hard time dealing with up front people and knowing what to say when I'm directly challenged.

If I was in your situation, I would come up with a few multi-purpose de-escalation phrases. So in this situation, you could say, "Nope! I think we're both doing the best we can!" and then compliment her or her child in some way. That phrase will work for a lot of situations, and the more you use it, the more natural it will become.

Note: it also has the added benefit of being true.

Agree with the PP. I think there is a certain fake it until you make it. You have to feel confident of your choices without making it seem like different choices are wrong. Sort of this works for my family, not trying to change your choice nor is mine up for debate, subject firmly changed to something light hearted that you have in common.

I'm in all sorts of neither fish nor fowl situations, we are an interracial family living in a higher socio economic area than I grew up with and have at least one child that has school challenges an issues making close friends going to a private school of a different religion than my background with many classmates of yet an even higher overall socio-economic status. On the social front I'm out of my element every day all day and I feel I have many reasons to feel different and on the outside looking in. But unless I start a meet-up group and find other people with exactly the same back story, my only option is to exude friendliness, confidence, and focus on common ground and common experiences until I find the one or two people that things really click. And if I don't find that, my kids can still feel like they had a childhood where they did things and saw people out of school.

I make an effort to volunteer for atleast two school events a year and help with carpools and play dates. I'm thankful for the parents that offer to coach sports teams or lead a scout troop ...it helps the kids have an outside activity to see friends, helps the parents get to know each other better, and I think the parents leading that activity get closer connected with the community. I'm not yet ready to lead any sort of volunteer event but as I get more comfortable I wouldn't rule out co-chairing a small event. For now, start with just stating upbeat, positive, and approachable and eventually try to connect with one or your interests to lead/planning something around your interest.