Anonymous wrote:The OP is right to feel loserish.

Yes OP, you do sound like a loser

OP, how do you do it? Same salary, 500k in retirement, but only 50k in savings and no college savings. How old are your kids? Btw, we live in a 575k house close in and not too terribly tiny. I think that's appropriate for our salary. We are younger than you, but not much.

The OP is right to feel loserish.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, that's another thing. I want to leave money for my kids. I really wanted a $1,200 purse and decided against. With a lot of those purchases I think of what it would mean to my child if I just put that money away and left it for them.

You teach your kids the wrong values if you are so focused on what you aren't doing or buying to save for them. My kid will get money for sure, but I'm also teaching her how to live in moderation.

Anonymous wrote:When I see posts like this, I wish for them to have real struggles. For example, stage 4 Cancer. I do not worry about what I have or where anyone else is after that.

Every day is a gift. FWIW, my net worth is 1 mil at 51.

Harsh-I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. I enjoyed reading the comments. Probably my money anxiety stems from coming from a socially downwardly mobile family as a child. My parents are so irresponsible with money. When I was young, I had grandparents that jetted me off to Europe but yet one year I didn't have a real winter coat and I was too embarrassed to ask for one.

Our house is not crappy (obviously it's not close in)- though it's not the mega mansions that many of our friends have.

To the Stage 4 Cancer person- yes I should count my blessings.

You are upwardly mobile compared to your childhood, so you shouldn't complain so ridiculously!
I come from an economically downwardly mobile family - my grandparents lived in several chateaux, my parents lived well in one home, I am less wealthy than my parents. My friends are all richer. Yet, I am happy!

Omfg. I'm done.

Anonymous wrote:Ok - I'm sure I'll get a lot of grief. We just paid off our house. We have no debt and have 2.4M net worth. We have 1.6 M retirement, 500k. house equity, 200k college savings, 100k cash. I know we aren't poor but it seems like our friends are doing so much better. They have nicer homes, take better vacations and don't seem as concerned about money. We make about 235k combined and our salaries are equal. It seems like so many people make 200k each these days.

Please tell me that I live in a bubble.

You live in a bubble and you need perspective. Volunteer at a hypothermia shelter this winter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op good job saving money. What I've noticed as I moved in to a more affluent neighborhood is that my neighbors are more concerned with the appearance of affluence and spend unreasonably. As I've gotten to know people here I am stunned by how little most of them have saved. My dh and I have been accused of not being able to afford our home but we have several million saved and continue to save. Overt displays of wealth, like those housewife type shows, are tacky.

Op remember that having money is more impressive than spending money.

Are you serious? By your neighbors, no less? No wonder OP feels poor! With friends like that, who needs enemies?

American suburban culture is so messed up.

You are SO behind the times. Cities are where it's at, baby. You don't need to worry about the people who own McMansions. They shop at Target and watch reruns on cable. You need to worry about the 20 and 30-somethings who aren't saving a dime because they eat out every other night, take fancy vacations and spend money on private schools if they ever get around to having any kids.

I am the PP. I am a bit unclear on your post. Are you saying that cities are where the messed up people are, now? And that they spend all their money in a city lifestyle?

I do think I see that. They all rent, too. It's like the Manhattan lifestyle has infected all the inner urban cores. I guess the re-infestation of the Yuppie and a Starbucks on every corner is an improvement over drive-by's...

OP here. Thanks all. I enjoyed reading the comments. Probably my money anxiety stems from coming from a socially downwardly mobile family as a child. My parents are so irresponsible with money. When I was young, I had grandparents that jetted me off to Europe but yet one year I didn't have a real winter coat and I was too embarrassed to ask for one.

Our house is not crappy (obviously it's not close in)- though it's not the mega mansions that many of our friends have.

To the Stage 4 Cancer person- yes I should count my blessings.

You just live in a crappy house compared to your friends. I agree that it's more normal to make $400k among UMC people, but your net worth is probably a lot higher than most of your friends'.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I see posts like this, I wish for them to have real struggles. For example, stage 4 Cancer. I do not worry about what I have or where anyone else is after that.

Every day is a gift. FWIW, my net worth is 1 mil at 51.

You are a horrible person.

Who wishes cancer on anyone?

OMG. I am the ppx2. This did not come out the way I wanted it to....I do not wish the struggles, rather, when they have read struggles.. . it should have read :

When I see posts like this, I wish for them to understand real struggles. For example, I have stage 4 Cancer. I do not worry about what I have or where anyone else is after that.

Every day is a gift. FWIW, my net worth is 1 mil at 51.

DP here, and I was pretty sure that was what you meant in the first place.

I understood what you meant as well. I have several friends with stage 4 cancer and it is a wake up call. Each day is precious. I truly think people need to reconsider their priorities. But to each his own I guess.

You're doing the right thing by saving. Most people in this country seem "rich" because they spend too much and save too little. I am always a little shocked by how many people shop at the uber-expensive stores in the mall -- I make a ton of money and don't feel like I have the money to throw hundreds of dollars away on a purse (I spent about $30 on a purse!), so I'm always shocked at the number of people who do. Same thing with vacations -- who are all these people staying at the Ritz and 4 Seasons??? They can't all own wildly successful tech businesses, can they? I suspect they are spending their retirement funds.
The PPs who told you not to compare yourselves to others are 100% right. That said, it's a very human impulse....after all, it made the top 10 list in the commandments! We all covet our neighbor's goat, or vacation home, or whatever, even though we know we shouldn't.
Sometimes when I am tempted to over-spend on something, I think -- wow, I could get those boots, or I could buy a water treatment thingy for a village in the third world. Boots don't seem so great when you think about kids with cholera. Again, you can't do that for everything, unless you're willing to give up everything and live in a hut, but it does help with the perspective.

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, that's another thing. I want to leave money for my kids. I really wanted a $1,200 purse and decided against. With a lot of those purchases I think of what it would mean to my child if I just put that money away and left it for them.

They would be ungrateful and wish upon you an early death. If you teach them and set good examples, then they will be able to generate their OWN wealth. That way, both generations can thrive. Leaving a lot of money to your children is a surefire way to kill their ambition. Just my thoughts.

There are many people who have more than you and many people who have less. That's always going to be so. Just live your own life and try not to compare to others. It's a cliche that "comparison is the thief of joy" but it's true nonetheless.