Anonymous wrote:Not my problem that you "aren't ready." This is how things work today - deal with it or go off the grid.

Anonymous wrote:Oh OP. If this injects conflict into your household the middle school years are going to be really, really tough on you and high school will be downright hellish. Good luck. Unclench.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop the madness.

We debated whether to get the older kid a smart phone when she entered middle school, but that seems to have become the de facto entry point when parents give them. So, we decided to do it, drafted a contract for expectations of behavior, the whole works.

Now, two or three parents of friends of our youngest kid, in elementary school, have given their children smart phones for Christmas or whatever. And as you can imagine, the badgering has started as these kids have no one to text and keep telling our kid they want to text her.

But guess what? We're not ready for this child to have a phone, for a number of reasons (including the fact that this is a $700/year investment once all is said and done). We're also not ready for this child to have a texting account, for a number of reasons (maturity, uncertainty about whether child will follow our expectations based on personality).

I wish people would realize that when they give their children phones this young, it's like a virus that spreads throughout the network of friends. They become a wedge for the "haves" and the "have nots" for whatever reason. My kid will be a "has not" until middle school, but I get to hear about it every day now for a year and a half.

Ugh.

It's just dumb to give a kid that age a smartphone. Has nothing to do with the kid's maturity. But bad parents have always been there and you just have to stick to your guns.

I love how the best argue,net most people can come up with it that it's dumb to give a kid a smartphone. Why exactly is it dumb? Becaus they will be connected? Becaus they may have fun with it? Because they will learn the technological tools that they will use for their lives before your kid does? Or because y don't like it?

You don't want your kid to have smartphone- good for you. They want their kids to have one - good for them. You don't have to agree - it's a parenting decision either way and neither in this case is actually a bad one.

You're saying nothing. Of course it's their right to make stupid parenting decisions. It's bad for obvious reasons: cyberbullying, alienation from family time, shortening of attention spans, constant instant gratification, and exponentially more screen time. But go for it, it's your call. And, yes, I will judge you.

This statement is especially awesome and ironic statement, coming from someone judging anonymous people for their parenting decisions on an Internet forum. Let's talk screen time, family time, and cyber bullying, and the examples that parents actually set for their children through actions vs. them giving their children a piece of random technology. Because last time I checked it the parent doing the parenting, not the phone.

You must be mentally deficient. Taking 5 minutes on an ipad while my kids are at a play date means I set a bad example re screen time for my kids. OK....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop the madness.

We debated whether to get the older kid a smart phone when she entered middle school, but that seems to have become the de facto entry point when parents give them. So, we decided to do it, drafted a contract for expectations of behavior, the whole works.

Now, two or three parents of friends of our youngest kid, in elementary school, have given their children smart phones for Christmas or whatever. And as you can imagine, the badgering has started as these kids have no one to text and keep telling our kid they want to text her.

But guess what? We're not ready for this child to have a phone, for a number of reasons (including the fact that this is a $700/year investment once all is said and done). We're also not ready for this child to have a texting account, for a number of reasons (maturity, uncertainty about whether child will follow our expectations based on personality).

I wish people would realize that when they give their children phones this young, it's like a virus that spreads throughout the network of friends. They become a wedge for the "haves" and the "have nots" for whatever reason. My kid will be a "has not" until middle school, but I get to hear about it every day now for a year and a half.

Ugh.

It's just dumb to give a kid that age a smartphone. Has nothing to do with the kid's maturity. But bad parents have always been there and you just have to stick to your guns.

I love how the best argue,net most people can come up with it that it's dumb to give a kid a smartphone. Why exactly is it dumb? Becaus they will be connected? Becaus they may have fun with it? Because they will learn the technological tools that they will use for their lives before your kid does? Or because y don't like it?

You don't want your kid to have smartphone- good for you. They want their kids to have one - good for them. You don't have to agree - it's a parenting decision either way and neither in this case is actually a bad one.

You're saying nothing. Of course it's their right to make stupid parenting decisions. It's bad for obvious reasons: cyberbullying, alienation from family time, shortening of attention spans, constant instant gratification, and exponentially more screen time. But go for it, it's your call. And, yes, I will judge you.

You're assuming that they allow their kids free use of it at home. Ds is in middle school and has an old smart phone of DH's. When he comes home, phone is handed over to me and then he has a choice of using his allotted screen time between computer time, tv time, or phone time after everything is done. His friends know to call the house if they want to talk and ds isn't answering a text. Having a husband who is a coder and developer has allowed us access to ds' texts, emails, and basically anything online, beyond what dsl already knows we look at.

Yuck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think middle school is too young. OP, please take the phone away from your child and wait until HS.

I thought MS was too young as well, but child is at after-school activities more and off independently more, so it is convenient for us for her to have a phone. Which was the trigger for us to get it.

Most people seem to arrive at a similar conclusion, as you'll discover when your child gets to middle school. Unless you end up in an insane community where parents give their snowflakes iPhones in third grade.

Anonymous wrote:I do not see why others feel they can dictate what goes on in someone's home. I will get my child a phone when it meets my needs of keeping track of him. To me the tracking is worth the money. My kid has basically had his own ipad since 2-3. We got one for the family and he took it over so we got us our own. He is happy with the old one and has no interest in ours. He also has had an old nano in his room since the CD player broke. We gave him an old touch but he has no interest as he had his ipad. He can text, Skype, FaceTime and do most things throught that. He will probably get an iPhone which will be one of ours so we can upgrade.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop the madness.

We debated whether to get the older kid a smart phone when she entered middle school, but that seems to have become the de facto entry point when parents give them. So, we decided to do it, drafted a contract for expectations of behavior, the whole works.

Now, two or three parents of friends of our youngest kid, in elementary school, have given their children smart phones for Christmas or whatever. And as you can imagine, the badgering has started as these kids have no one to text and keep telling our kid they want to text her.

But guess what? We're not ready for this child to have a phone, for a number of reasons (including the fact that this is a $700/year investment once all is said and done). We're also not ready for this child to have a texting account, for a number of reasons (maturity, uncertainty about whether child will follow our expectations based on personality).

I wish people would realize that when they give their children phones this young, it's like a virus that spreads throughout the network of friends. They become a wedge for the "haves" and the "have nots" for whatever reason. My kid will be a "has not" until middle school, but I get to hear about it every day now for a year and a half.

Ugh.

It's just dumb to give a kid that age a smartphone. Has nothing to do with the kid's maturity. But bad parents have always been there and you just have to stick to your guns.

I love how the best argue,net most people can come up with it that it's dumb to give a kid a smartphone. Why exactly is it dumb? Becaus they will be connected? Becaus they may have fun with it? Because they will learn the technological tools that they will use for their lives before your kid does? Or because y don't like it?

You don't want your kid to have smartphone- good for you. They want their kids to have one - good for them. You don't have to agree - it's a parenting decision either way and neither in this case is actually a bad one.

You're saying nothing. Of course it's their right to make stupid parenting decisions. It's bad for obvious reasons: cyberbullying, alienation from family time, shortening of attention spans, constant instant gratification, and exponentially more screen time. But go for it, it's your call. And, yes, I will judge you.

You're assuming that they allow their kids free use of it at home. Ds is in middle school and has an old smart phone of DH's. When he comes home, phone is handed over to me and then he has a choice of using his allotted screen time between computer time, tv time, or phone time after everything is done. His friends know to call the house if they want to talk and ds isn't answering a text. Having a husband who is a coder and developer has allowed us access to ds' texts, emails, and basically anything online, beyond what dsl already knows we look at.

That's great, but what about all the other time. Is the kid paying attention in school, or on the phone? Is s/he interacting with peers? Or just glued to screen all day?
Look, it's a free country, so of course I have no right to dictate what you do. But I definitely have an opinion about it, and you have no right to dictate that I don't. I definitely think it's a bad idea for elementary kids. If I could magically make them disappear for middle schoolers I would, but I do understand that at that point it's very tough to be the "only" kid without one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop the madness.

We debated whether to get the older kid a smart phone when she entered middle school, but that seems to have become the de facto entry point when parents give them. So, we decided to do it, drafted a contract for expectations of behavior, the whole works.

Now, two or three parents of friends of our youngest kid, in elementary school, have given their children smart phones for Christmas or whatever. And as you can imagine, the badgering has started as these kids have no one to text and keep telling our kid they want to text her.

But guess what? We're not ready for this child to have a phone, for a number of reasons (including the fact that this is a $700/year investment once all is said and done). We're also not ready for this child to have a texting account, for a number of reasons (maturity, uncertainty about whether child will follow our expectations based on personality).

I wish people would realize that when they give their children phones this young, it's like a virus that spreads throughout the network of friends. They become a wedge for the "haves" and the "have nots" for whatever reason. My kid will be a "has not" until middle school, but I get to hear about it every day now for a year and a half.

Ugh.

It's just dumb to give a kid that age a smartphone. Has nothing to do with the kid's maturity. But bad parents have always been there and you just have to stick to your guns.

I love how the best argue,net most people can come up with it that it's dumb to give a kid a smartphone. Why exactly is it dumb? Becaus they will be connected? Becaus they may have fun with it? Because they will learn the technological tools that they will use for their lives before your kid does? Or because y don't like it?

You don't want your kid to have smartphone- good for you. They want their kids to have one - good for them. You don't have to agree - it's a parenting decision either way and neither in this case is actually a bad one.

You're saying nothing. Of course it's their right to make stupid parenting decisions. It's bad for obvious reasons: cyberbullying, alienation from family time, shortening of attention spans, constant instant gratification, and exponentially more screen time. But go for it, it's your call. And, yes, I will judge you.

You're assuming that they allow their kids free use of it at home. Ds is in middle school and has an old smart phone of DH's. When he comes home, phone is handed over to me and then he has a choice of using his allotted screen time between computer time, tv time, or phone time after everything is done. His friends know to call the house if they want to talk and ds isn't answering a text. Having a husband who is a coder and developer has allowed us access to ds' texts, emails, and basically anything online, beyond what dsl already knows we look at.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop the madness.

We debated whether to get the older kid a smart phone when she entered middle school, but that seems to have become the de facto entry point when parents give them. So, we decided to do it, drafted a contract for expectations of behavior, the whole works.

Now, two or three parents of friends of our youngest kid, in elementary school, have given their children smart phones for Christmas or whatever. And as you can imagine, the badgering has started as these kids have no one to text and keep telling our kid they want to text her.

But guess what? We're not ready for this child to have a phone, for a number of reasons (including the fact that this is a $700/year investment once all is said and done). We're also not ready for this child to have a texting account, for a number of reasons (maturity, uncertainty about whether child will follow our expectations based on personality).

I wish people would realize that when they give their children phones this young, it's like a virus that spreads throughout the network of friends. They become a wedge for the "haves" and the "have nots" for whatever reason. My kid will be a "has not" until middle school, but I get to hear about it every day now for a year and a half.

Ugh.

It's just dumb to give a kid that age a smartphone. Has nothing to do with the kid's maturity. But bad parents have always been there and you just have to stick to your guns.

I love how the best argue,net most people can come up with it that it's dumb to give a kid a smartphone. Why exactly is it dumb? Becaus they will be connected? Becaus they may have fun with it? Because they will learn the technological tools that they will use for their lives before your kid does? Or because y don't like it?

You don't want your kid to have smartphone- good for you. They want their kids to have one - good for them. You don't have to agree - it's a parenting decision either way and neither in this case is actually a bad one.

You're saying nothing. Of course it's their right to make stupid parenting decisions. It's bad for obvious reasons: cyberbullying, alienation from family time, shortening of attention spans, constant instant gratification, and exponentially more screen time. But go for it, it's your call. And, yes, I will judge you.

You're assuming that they allow their kids free use of it at home. Ds is in middle school and has an old smart phone of DH's. When he comes home, phone is handed over to me and then he has a choice of using his allotted screen time between computer time, tv time, or phone time after everything is done. His friends know to call the house if they want to talk and ds isn't answering a text. Having a husband who is a coder and developer has allowed us access to ds' texts, emails, and basically anything online, beyond what dsl already knows we look at.