Why can't anyone on here spell judgment correctly? It is clear you are all American English speakers, not Anglo. I realize I sound like a harpy but this just strikes me as weird at how frequently I see this misspelling, especially in a city full of attorneys.

OP - I agree with a PP who said it is on you and your spouse to make the accommodations as much as possible in these settings. Your friends do sound somewhat pissy but I think they just didn't know what it would entail, and were taken aback. It also strikes me that there may be a dynamic in this couple that one may be more anti-child than the other and there is some need for the more child-friendly one to show solidarity. My two cents, which is probably not very useful anyway.

Your friends want to spend time with you, not watching you losing yourself over a 2-year old. Maybe that is part of the frustration that came out wrong. There is unrealistic expectation from both side too: you for how much your friends should be interested in your kids, and them for how much time you have for them when you are with your child. Before I had kids, I was not interested in kids even though I babysat for friends. When they were young I was in love with every kid. Now I lost interest again.

Parent here. I can understand how non-parents would be annoyed, but not judgmental. Heck, I as a parent can get irritated with toddlers (since I've happily moved on from that phase). Having said that, I'd never vacation with non-parents unless we had an understanding. And, as a non-parent, I'd never vacation with kids.

I don't get all this worry about so called judgement from other people . What you call judgement sounds more like frustration to me. Childless couple did not realize how much toddler would impact vacation and momma has her nose out of joint because of their frustration and stupid comments.
By the way , I have kids and would have made that Benadryl joke. Seriously, OP you are too sensitive and it really was on you to make it clear to your friends how much a toddler would impact your plans. Everyone is not going to bend over backwards for your baby. Plus, every kid is different. Mine could sleep anywhere and as long as their was a snack was fairly amenable. How in the hell are your friends going to know your kid's temperment?
Chalk it up to being a bad idea by both parties, it just did not fit your differing needs!!

Anonymous wrote:It's not them being childless that's ruined your vacation. It's them being idiots. I don't have children - but I love children and would be the first to suggest an accommodation myself if it came to my mind. It's the people. Not if they have children or not.

Every person does not want to spend their vacation fawning over someone else's kid !!!

Anonymous wrote:I get it.

When I used to hang out with my childless friends and my kids were younger, I got the same reactions too.

They just didn't get it when I was always late and they had to wait for me. Or why my kids were cranky if we did something during their nap times, etc.

I think it's best to hang out with families at this time or if you do socialize with these friends, it is best to do so only on a limited basis.

Wait, you were always late but don't get why your friends got pissy???
I am a min and certainly believe having a kid is a permanent hall pass for being inconsiderate of friends with whom I made plans.

This is in everyone involved .
As parents, you should have made it clear what accommodations you will have had to make for naps, meals, bedtimes, fussiness. Your friends should have asked about how will having a 2 yr old along will change things.
What childless couple would want to vacation with a toddler????
And I say this as a parent.

We just returned from Mexico with my 16th month old and my childless sister went with us. We went to a very kid friendly resort Paridiscus Playa del Carmen. Before our daughter we would go to adults only resorts. It went well because my sister was comfortable doing things alone when we needed to make adjustments because of our daughter. I made it clear while planning that I would only stay at resorts who welcomed kids and it was her choice to go or not with us. The way you describe your friends I would not travel with them again just because they have different traveling needs. Traveling with and without a child is different and it is just easier when you don't have to deal with judgements of others childless or not. Move on and reserve your travel for individuals who are flexible to the needs of children. I decline parties and restaurant invitations all the time because I would rather eat alone at home with my daughter than have to deal with others and their judgements. Even for my husband job there are times he has to go to the 100 dollar per person resturant alone with his coworkers because it just easier for my daughter if she and I stay home. Life is too short and your child grows up too fast to be worried about friends like these. This couple is not someone to take along on your family vacation.

I get it.

When I used to hang out with my childless friends and my kids were younger, I got the same reactions too.

They just didn't get it when I was always late and they had to wait for me. Or why my kids were cranky if we did something during their nap times, etc.

I think it's best to hang out with families at this time or if you do socialize with these friends, it is best to do so only on a limited basis.

It's not them being childless that's ruined your vacation. It's them being idiots. I don't have children - but I love children and would be the first to suggest an accommodation myself if it came to my mind. It's the people. Not if they have children or not.

Anonymous wrote:OP. Sounds like one of those growing apart phases. My kids are 8 & 10 and there is no way I would go on a vacation with a 2 year old. I know what its like and sorry no thanks !

Mine is only 4.5 but I already feel the same way!
Moreover, I try not to hang out with moms who have a younger child (plus a child my son's age) as it is always, well, an inconvenience.

Ha. I would rather deal with a 2 year old than these "friends" of Op's. At least a 2 year old has an excuse for acting like a baby.

I have a 2 year old and there is also no way I would go on vacation with another two year old

OP. Sounds like one of those growing apart phases. My kids are 8 & 10 and there is no way I would go on a vacation with a 2 year old. I know what its like and sorry no thanks !

I have three older kids and there is absolutely nothing thst could tempt me to be around any child under age 10.