Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 23:43     Subject: You shouldn't have married daddy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If my child said that to me she wouldn't be able to sit down. I would have beat her ass till it bleed. She needs to learn her place.


And if I ever saw you doing that to your child I would beat your ass myself. I hope you get arrested for child abuse.

I don't have children so simmer down, but I'd like to see you try . But seriously am I the only person who sees the 4 yr old as the problem? The husband is the man of the house, he can do as he pleases. Children come after, they are not the priority. She needs to please her husband.


Are you out of your mind? Yes, the partnership is primary relationship only when it provides the stability and consistency and love that partners and children need to thrive. If that isn't present, then it is your responsibility to protect your child. Period. The 4 year old is the problem? Seriously? Get out, and save this little girl or else watch her seek the same abusive relationships she is experiencing in your family. No joke. You both deserve better. Man of the house my a$$. Oh right, you don't have children. Drop mike, we're done.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 15:07     Subject: You shouldn't have married daddy
You need counseling, Pronto. If he won't go with you, go alone. Even if it's to counsel you through how to handle a split.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 13:52     Subject: You shouldn't have married daddy
Tell him you will leave if he does not stop being so hateful...and mean it. Give him a timeline and stick to it.

Life is too short for that shit. He gets better and never reverts back, or it's over.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 12:57     Subject: You shouldn't have married daddy
Anonymous wrote:I'm going to say something here i feel no one else has approached. If your daughter stormed out after you made spaghetti and said I WISH you never made spaghetti, you wouldn't be posting on DCUM. You're posting on here because you want to pin this decision on her, and pretend it is about her. It isn't. It seems to me, you've already made up your mind, and your dd's comment came at a good time.

If you really feel your DH is this horrible angry guy that is damaging your kid and no amount of therapy or communication can work, then sure, leave him. But at least, own up to your decision. It seems to me you made up your mind a long time ago, and DH isn't so bad, and this is a good excuse to use with friends and family to justify you leaving. Close yet?


Not OP, but this is your takeaway from her first post? That is absurd reasoning. But you're entitled to it... hopefully OP can see most serious responses (aside from the troll threatening itself with violence) understand what was pretty clear about why she's thinking of leaving.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 12:55     Subject: You shouldn't have married daddy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:She has lots of close friends but as far as I can tell no long term relationship. Maybe she is just secretive but that would also suggest intimacy issues. Anyway, all of my siblings are fairly reticent to be in a relationship. The lone exception being the youngest, who was away from my father for most of his life and also is the only male, which means his father issues affect him differently.


I am a guy who had many failed relationships and fucked up intimacy precisely because of my parent's awful toxic relationship: you do what "love" looks like to you - the familiar. I've successfully broken the pattern, but not until later in life and after a failed marriage and several bad LTRs (therapy and lots of time with surrogate families as a kid), but my two sisters haven't been quite as successful. One is a complete basket case (though she's got some spectrum disorder issues complicating it) and the other has the same kind of high drama yelling and fighting relationship with her husband that my parents did...and she was 5 when they separated. Two of my more memorable roller-coaster relationships were with women who grew up in toxic households and had pretty messed up intimacy issues.

Yes, raising your child in this environment will perpetuate the cycle in the next generation. Sadly, it is generally true that both parents have issues - and that they are drawn to people who are at least somewhat like their parents. I think my BIL is an ahole of the first order most of the time, but I also see where my sister plays an active role in keeping the drama game going...it's rarely the case that one parent is completely without fault or contribution.


PP I want to print this out and give it to so many of my friends in bad relationships. Many people have said what you say here, but something about this post makes it especially impactful. Thank you.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 11:30     Subject: You shouldn't have married daddy
Anonymous wrote:This thread should be required reading for all of the 'divorce will ruin your kids' lives!' people.


I agree wholeheartedly with this. I've oosted in those other threads before asking for this perspective but have never seen theses responses. It's always an overwhelming, work it out and tough it out type of attitude.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 11:29     Subject: You shouldn't have married daddy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If my child said that to me she wouldn't be able to sit down. I would have beat her ass till it bleed. She needs to learn her place.


And if I ever saw you doing that to your child I would beat your ass myself. I hope you get arrested for child abuse.

I don't have children so simmer down, but I'd like to see you try . But seriously am I the only person who sees the 4 yr old as the problem? The husband is the man of the house, he can do as he pleases. Children come after, they are not the priority. She needs to please her husband.


And I'd like to see you try to stop me. You sound like a real weakling with an inferiority complex.

I have been shot once and stabbed 17 times ( all the stabbing was 1 incident ) I'm pretty tough. Have you killed someone with your bare hands? Because I have, the person who stabbed me 17 times.


And I don't give a fuck dude. It will be no contest. How tall are you?

I'm not a dude, I'm a girl 5 '0


You are a troll in the ugliest form. People, stop feeding her.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 09:35     Subject: You shouldn't have married daddy
This thread should be required reading for all of the 'divorce will ruin your kids' lives!' people.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2014 09:34     Subject: You shouldn't have married daddy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If my child said that to me she wouldn't be able to sit down. I would have beat her ass till it bleed. She needs to learn her place.


And if I ever saw you doing that to your child I would beat your ass myself. I hope you get arrested for child abuse.

I don't have children so simmer down, but I'd like to see you try . But seriously am I the only person who sees the 4 yr old as the problem? The husband is the man of the house, he can do as he pleases. Children come after, they are not the priority. She needs to please her husband.


And I'd like to see you try to stop me. You sound like a real weakling with an inferiority complex.

I have been shot once and stabbed 17 times ( all the stabbing was 1 incident ) I'm pretty tough. Have you killed someone with your bare hands? Because I have, the person who stabbed me 17 times.


And I don't give a fuck dude. It will be no contest. How tall are you?

I'm not a dude, I'm a girl 5 '0


You are smaller than my ten year old. There is no way you killed someone with your bare hands after being stabbed 17 times. This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen on DCUM and that is saying a lot.