OP, you made up your mind about this distant cousin and nothing we have said or are going to say will change your mind.

Why are you bothering us with this?

PS I'm siding with the distant cousin, BTW.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She knew about the surgery since I scheduled it in October. I even scheduled her to clean the house the day of the surgery so id come to a clean home. She knew for a long time I would be off this week.

So she should stay and cater to you, unpaid??? Very entitled. You may be a pill for her to live with...

NP. The girl gets free rent. She shouldn't be paid for occasional childcare. At least I wasn't when I lived rent free with a family after college in exchange for occasional babysitting.

Then those expectations need to be made clear as part of the agreement. Free rent in exchange for babysitting for X number of hours a week. Advanced notice is needed by both parties to change the arrangement, formally. Then, the OP would have needed to spell out that extra hours were needed this weekend. The babysitter/cousin would have needed to formally ask for the weekend off if that were during her expected hours.

The poor girl can't be expected to read minds.

It's not about reading minds. You live rent free in a home, you know the mom in the home is having surgery and you leave without even asking if she needs help?
I call it selfishness.

Anonymous wrote:Given the level of entitlement shown by the OP, I suspect this "occasional" babysitting is more like 20+ hours per week.

It's actually 4 hours one Saturday per month. I work opposite shifts to dh's so we rarely need help with the kids.

Given the level of entitlement shown by the OP, I suspect this "occasional" babysitting is more like 20+ hours per week.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She knew about the surgery since I scheduled it in October. I even scheduled her to clean the house the day of the surgery so id come to a clean home. She knew for a long time I would be off this week.

So she should stay and cater to you, unpaid??? Very entitled. You may be a pill for her to live with...

NP. The girl gets free rent. She shouldn't be paid for occasional childcare. At least I wasn't when I lived rent free with a family after college in exchange for occasional babysitting.

So were you related to the family who gave you free housing? OP says it's a distant cousin of her DH. They should have been more explicit about what they expected from the relative in exchange for free housing.... But expecting the woman to "offer" her help is a bit much when they pay her for childcare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She knew about the surgery since I scheduled it in October. I even scheduled her to clean the house the day of the surgery so id come to a clean home. She knew for a long time I would be off this week.

So she should stay and cater to you, unpaid??? Very entitled. You may be a pill for her to live with...

NP. The girl gets free rent. She shouldn't be paid for occasional childcare. At least I wasn't when I lived rent free with a family after college in exchange for occasional babysitting.

Then those expectations need to be made clear as part of the agreement. Free rent in exchange for babysitting for X number of hours a week. Advanced notice is needed by both parties to change the arrangement, formally. Then, the OP would have needed to spell out that extra hours were needed this weekend. The babysitter/cousin would have needed to formally ask for the weekend off if that were during her expected hours.

The poor girl can't be expected to read minds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She knew about the surgery since I scheduled it in October. I even scheduled her to clean the house the day of the surgery so id come to a clean home. She knew for a long time I would be off this week.

So she should stay and cater to you, unpaid??? Very entitled. You may be a pill for her to live with...

NP. The girl gets free rent. She shouldn't be paid for occasional childcare. At least I wasn't when I lived rent free with a family after college in exchange for occasional babysitting.

OP-- is it possible you're extra sensitive about this right now because of the hysterectomy? I'm guessing that is not emotionally easy to deal with.

If that's the case, take a step back and come to terms with the real reason for your distress-- it's not your nanny/housekeeper/distant cousin's fault.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do you need someone to watch your children while you shower ?

Because they're small and I can't run if something happens.

I'm a 24 hr nanny for 3 small children. Every morning around 7 am I keep the kids in my room with it locked. The babies go in a pack n play and the older toddler sits on a chair and watches tv "I know the horror " while I shower with the door open in my bathroom which is connected to my room. After I get out of the shower and I'm dressed I get the babies out and let them play while I blow my hair dry.start to finish 25-30 minutes. Ive never had a problem but I know the kids I nanny for and they listen to me, well the toddler does. The babies can't get out of my room.

OP, I remember when I was in college and my mom scheduled foot surgery during winter break.

Since I normally had a seasonal job/other plans during breaks, my mom offered to pay me what I typically earned at those jobs to stay home, help her out, cook, clean, and take care of my much younger siblings. It was actually really tough. My mom asked me to do things around the house at a level that she wouldn't typically do herself. In the end I didn't like being paid help and wished I just had worked my usual seasonal job.

You should have spelled this out in specific terms of what you needed and when. She's not a mind reader.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just saw your post on the nanny board, OP. You clearly feel well enough to whine on multiple forums today. Try reading a book to your children and stop whining to anyone in cyber-space who will listen.

They're too young to sit still quietly while I read but thanks for the sweet suggestion of how I should spen my healing time with my children.

Everyone is laughing at you, OP - you do realize that, don't you? You are ridiculously entitled and do not want our opinions if the differ from yours. You have no question here - just an ax to grind.

Go take care of your own children. I feel more sorry for this poor woman who has to live with you to finish college with every response you spew.

+1000. That poor woman/relative/nanny. OP sounds like an entitled princess can't be easy living with that, free rent or not. No wonder she escapes when she can.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just saw your post on the nanny board, OP. You clearly feel well enough to whine on multiple forums today. Try reading a book to your children and stop whining to anyone in cyber-space who will listen.

They're too young to sit still quietly while I read but thanks for the sweet suggestion of how I should spen my healing time with my children.

Everyone is laughing at you, OP - you do realize that, don't you? You are ridiculously entitled and do not want our opinions if the differ from yours. You have no question here - just an ax to grind.

Go take care of your own children. I feel more sorry for this poor woman who has to live with you to finish college with every response you spew.

I feel sorry for the woman who has to live with you as well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just saw your post on the nanny board, OP. You clearly feel well enough to whine on multiple forums today. Try reading a book to your children and stop whining to anyone in cyber-space who will listen.

They're too young to sit still quietly while I read but thanks for the sweet suggestion of how I should spen my healing time with my children.

Everyone is laughing at you, OP - you do realize that, don't you? You are ridiculously entitled and do not want our opinions if the differ from yours. You have no question here - just an ax to grind.

Go take care of your own children. I feel more sorry for this poor woman who has to live with you to finish college with every response you spew.

Anonymous wrote:If you were going to need so much help during your recovery, you really should have used your words and figured out a support plan in advance. Not just assumed that your employee (which is effectively what she is) would read your mind, realize you'd need help, and be willing to offer it for free. Playing the victim is so very unattractive.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why didn't you ask her for help? Just be direct, and polite. People aren't mind readers, especially college kids.

Because we didn't have the money to pay for her hourly rate and if we asked we'd had to pay. If she offered we'd def tip her but not pay as much as she charges - 22/h for 2 kids.

So you know you were supposed to pay her, hoped to guilt her into doing it for free, and she is rude for not sticking around?