Anonymous wrote:if my grand kids didnt write me thank you notes for years of presents i would probably pull this. otherwise, just no.

I did this to niece, nephew, BIL and BIL's wife. We gave them presents every year for about 7 years , and never an acknowledgement from anyone. Gave gifts to Heifer Project for all one year, and then skipped gifts in the future.

if my grand kids didnt write me thank you notes for years of presents i would probably pull this. otherwise, just no.

I read this post a few days ago and yesterday my MIL did the same thing to my children! She donated money to a charity of her choosing in lieu of gifts for her grandchildren.

My kids couldn't care less about the present, they are not entitled, spoiled kids, but I'm just a tad annoyed at the preachy judgementalism. My kids do tons of charity work, they don't need to be taught a lesson on being charitable. If you knew my MIL, you would know that this is her underlying message. She's not being charitable, she's being preachy.

I know the Catalogue for Philanthropy: Greater Washington also sells charity gift cards. We did this for a few people one year, and it was a nice way to promote giving back, and yet still feel like we were giving them "something."

Basically, you order a gift card, put however much $$ you want on it, and the recipient gets to choose which DC-area charity receives the money.

Maybe you can ask her to donate to kids choice of charities. Then you can work with your kids at picking a cause, looking at legit charities, seeing what they spend their money on (how much goes to actual cause), etc. This could be a great learning opportunity for your kids. Since it is your MIL then I would have your DH ask her. I would have no problem explaining the reasoning to my mom.