Yes, as predicted, you do not have sons this age. A "fair amount of experience" with preteen boys? Please. Write back when you are dealing with your own kids this age and their budding hormones on a daily basis. In other words, when you know what you're talking about.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP if this is a problem, then I hope your boys don't go anywhere that they might see a woman in a bikini until they are out of their teen years. Especially not girls around their own age, some of whom actually want to be noticed.
Maybe you should lock them up until they get through these awkward years. There are breasts everywhere, and a lot of them won't be very well covered.
Don't let them go to their aunt's house. Tell them you're worried about what they might see/think. See what their reaction is.
It's a very different thing to have young boys at the beach, walking by big-busted girls in tight bikinis -- most of whom they don't know and are just "seeing" -- and being in the home of someone they do know very well (their aunt), who is splaying the girls out for a period of time, while feeding an infant.
My breasts were pretty big when I was nursing. I didn't use a cover, EVER. Not outside my home, not at home. You know why? Because when I was nursing my child, while wearing clothing specifically designed for that activity, my baby's head was covering the side she was nursing from and the other breast was covered by a nursing pad, a bra and that side of the shirt. The only time I nursed completely topless was the day DD was born. After that, I wore nursing bras and shirts that were either v-necked enough to nurse without exposing myself anymore than I would in a (not at all racy in fact rather prudish) swimsuit.
If your sons are having sexual feelings about their aunt feeding their baby cousin, I suspect it is more a function of the messages they are getting at home that breasts are sexual and breast feeding should be done in private than anything their aunt is doing. I also very much doubt she's practically topless. I know dozens of women who have nursed babies and the only glimpse of a fully exposed breast I've ever seen has been an accident, rather than an intentional sustained exposure.
You don't have much experience with pre-teen boys do you ?
My child is female and young, but I have a fair amount of experience with preteen boys. In my experience, the easiest way to ensure that they are respectful of women is to require that they behave respectfully. If you treat this situation as a normal parenting situation, rather than an abnormal sexual situation, they will receive the message that their aunt breast feeding their cousin is not something to leer about. If they are uncomfortable, perhaps a conversation about the normal parenting situation they're observing and requiring them to behave respectfully is in order. It sounds like the OP just can't believe that their interest in and curiosity about babies is genuine, since they're boys and therefore must have sex on the brain to the exclusion of all other things. I suppose that one track mindedness accounts for why boys over age ten have no interests in anything but sex. Certainly explains why there are no boys on the honor roll, excelling in sports, writing, playing music, etc.
Yes, as predicted, you do not have sons this age. A "fair amount of experience" with preteen boys? Please. Write back when you are dealing with your own kids this age and their budding hormones on a daily basis. In other words, when you know what you're talking about.
It's a very different thing to have young boys at the beach, walking by big-busted girls in tight bikinis -- most of whom they don't know and are just "seeing" -- and being in the home of someone they do know very well (their aunt), who is splaying the girls out for a period of time, while feeding an infant.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP if this is a problem, then I hope your boys don't go anywhere that they might see a woman in a bikini until they are out of their teen years. Especially not girls around their own age, some of whom actually want to be noticed.
Maybe you should lock them up until they get through these awkward years. There are breasts everywhere, and a lot of them won't be very well covered.
Don't let them go to their aunt's house. Tell them you're worried about what they might see/think. See what their reaction is.
It's a very different thing to have young boys at the beach, walking by big-busted girls in tight bikinis -- most of whom they don't know and are just "seeing" -- and being in the home of someone they do know very well (their aunt), who is splaying the girls out for a period of time, while feeding an infant.
My breasts were pretty big when I was nursing. I didn't use a cover, EVER. Not outside my home, not at home. You know why? Because when I was nursing my child, while wearing clothing specifically designed for that activity, my baby's head was covering the side she was nursing from and the other breast was covered by a nursing pad, a bra and that side of the shirt. The only time I nursed completely topless was the day DD was born. After that, I wore nursing bras and shirts that were either v-necked enough to nurse without exposing myself anymore than I would in a (not at all racy in fact rather prudish) swimsuit.
If your sons are having sexual feelings about their aunt feeding their baby cousin, I suspect it is more a function of the messages they are getting at home that breasts are sexual and breast feeding should be done in private than anything their aunt is doing. I also very much doubt she's practically topless. I know dozens of women who have nursed babies and the only glimpse of a fully exposed breast I've ever seen has been an accident, rather than an intentional sustained exposure.
You don't have much experience with pre-teen boys do you ?
My child is female and young, but I have a fair amount of experience with preteen boys. In my experience, the easiest way to ensure that they are respectful of women is to require that they behave respectfully. If you treat this situation as a normal parenting situation, rather than an abnormal sexual situation, they will receive the message that their aunt breast feeding their cousin is not something to leer about. If they are uncomfortable, perhaps a conversation about the normal parenting situation they're observing and requiring them to behave respectfully is in order. It sounds like the OP just can't believe that their interest in and curiosity about babies is genuine, since they're boys and therefore must have sex on the brain to the exclusion of all other things. I suppose that one track mindedness accounts for why boys over age ten have no interests in anything but sex. Certainly explains why there are no boys on the honor roll, excelling in sports, writing, playing music, etc.
Should I feel weird about my sister-in-law breastfeeding when my kids are there visiting?
Anonymous wrote: I would not allow her to do so without a cover. I do not care how natural it is, 10 yr old boys don't need this.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote: I would not allow her to do so without a cover. I do not care how natural it is, 10 yr old boys don't need this.
Allow her?? Are you insane?
Anonymous wrote: I would not allow her to do so without a cover. I do not care how natural it is, 10 yr old boys don't need this.
Anonymous wrote:Since it is her house, you should say nothing to her and communicate to the kids that they should excuse themselves and go into another room while she is breastfeeding.
Anonymous wrote:Even if they are very good boys, it is unfair to them to present them with this situation, and frankly it appears that SIL is doing plenty of presenting.
The responsibility falls an the grown-up and you should limit their visits. There is no reason she can't B-F in the bedroom instead of in the open family area where the guys are visiting.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:OP if this is a problem, then I hope your boys don't go anywhere that they might see a woman in a bikini until they are out of their teen years. Especially not girls around their own age, some of whom actually want to be noticed.
Maybe you should lock them up until they get through these awkward years. There are breasts everywhere, and a lot of them won't be very well covered.
Don't let them go to their aunt's house. Tell them you're worried about what they might see/think. See what their reaction is.
It's a very different thing to have young boys at the beach, walking by big-busted girls in tight bikinis -- most of whom they don't know and are just "seeing" -- and being in the home of someone they do know very well (their aunt), who is splaying the girls out for a period of time, while feeding an infant.
My breasts were pretty big when I was nursing. I didn't use a cover, EVER. Not outside my home, not at home. You know why? Because when I was nursing my child, while wearing clothing specifically designed for that activity, my baby's head was covering the side she was nursing from and the other breast was covered by a nursing pad, a bra and that side of the shirt. The only time I nursed completely topless was the day DD was born. After that, I wore nursing bras and shirts that were either v-necked enough to nurse without exposing myself anymore than I would in a (not at all racy in fact rather prudish) swimsuit.
If your sons are having sexual feelings about their aunt feeding their baby cousin, I suspect it is more a function of the messages they are getting at home that breasts are sexual and breast feeding should be done in private than anything their aunt is doing. I also very much doubt she's practically topless. I know dozens of women who have nursed babies and the only glimpse of a fully exposed breast I've ever seen has been an accident, rather than an intentional sustained exposure.
You don't have much experience with pre-teen boys do you ?
My child is female and young, but I have a fair amount of experience with preteen boys. In my experience, the easiest way to ensure that they are respectful of women is to require that they behave respectfully. If you treat this situation as a normal parenting situation, rather than an abnormal sexual situation, they will receive the message that their aunt breast feeding their cousin is not something to leer about. If they are uncomfortable, perhaps a conversation about the normal parenting situation they're observing and requiring them to behave respectfully is in order. It sounds like the OP just can't believe that their interest in and curiosity about babies is genuine, since they're boys and therefore must have sex on the brain to the exclusion of all other things. I suppose that one track mindedness accounts for why boys over age ten have no interests in anything but sex. Certainly explains why there are no boys on the honor roll, excelling in sports, writing, playing music, etc.
+1 from a mom of three teenage boys