I'm a bit late to this thread, but I would definitely not allow my child to say "you're annoying" without calling her out for speaking to me that way. That's a separate issue from wearing or not wearing the coat. It's also different from saying "you are annoying me right now." I have a 7 yo who can get very sassy and I do not want the behavior to escalate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I imposed consequences but husband thinks I shouldn't overreact to that type of "small stuff."


FWIW, I asked him to put on a coat before going out to see a winter lights display.

I would tell him to shut it and put his coat on. I don't think you need consequences. If he keeps arguing take him without the coat-- then when he complains about being cold tell him to stop being annoying.

This is childish to me.

Yes, my wording is not the best but what's childish is getting into lectures and power struggles and punishments with a seven year old. The kid told his mom she's "annoying" because she wants him to wear a warm coat in cold weather. If he doesn't want to wear the coat and he doesn't live on the tundra, take him without the coat. When he complains of being cold remind him that you suggested a coat.

Kids respond best to logical or natural consequences. As long as it's safe and legal, provide a logical consequence. Hitting a kid or this privilege removal tit for tat thing because a child is disrespectful is not a logical consequence- but refusing to drive them to a party or a soccer practice because you won't go out of your way for someone who is disrespectful is a logical consequence. Most of the suggestions I have read in this thread are punitive, permissive, or invite power struggles.

I don't allow my kids, especially in ES, to be speak to me that way. I would punish that kid severely. For my DC, that means no electronics for 2 weeks. As a parent, I would nip that kind of disrespectfulness in the bud early on.

For those parents that respond with "it's my job to be annoying" and that's it, I guess it shouldn't surprise me but it still does that soo many parents think it's ok for kids, at 7 no less, to speak disrespectfully to their parents. WOW! I can't imagine what you will allow your kids to say to you when they are teens.

I agree with another PP -- Would you allow your kid to say that to his teacher when the teacher asks your DC to do something he didn't want to? If you would, then agree with another PP, you are not raising a child to be independent thinkers; you are raising your kid to be disrespectful.

People are just focused on the "get your jacket" scenario, but this is a larger issue about kids being disrespectful.