I think a picky eater is mostly born. How parenTs deal with having a picky eater can vary, but that isn't about the underlying willingness to try new foods or Basic approach to food and eating. If you have to apply your 'not a short order coook, eat what I say or go to bed hungry' approach, then you have a picky eater. You are dEating with that in a certain way, but you aren't changing the underlying fact that you had a picky eater at least to start. Where did that come from?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:60% lazy parenting
40% actual physical or psychological issues with the child.

You suck. I have cooked meals for my children every night since they were born. I've tried kid friendly, not kid friendly, ethnic, all sorts of options. I am not lazy. I just don't want to fight with my children over food. And the "a hungry child will eat if you provide them food" thing doesn't really work with at least one of my children -- she says she isn't hungry and asks to be excused and then wakes up at midnight asking for a snack since she didn't eat dinner and is hungry.

lazy parenting.

"I'm not lazy, I just don't want to fight with my kids over how much tv they can watch. I'm not lazy, I just don't want to fight with my kids over saying please and thank you. I'm not lazy, I just don't want to here my kids fight over the ipda, so I bought them both one."

The excuses can go on and on. You may think I suck, but I'm not a lazy parent.

NP here. You SUCK, and you are an evil ogre.

You are also completely clueless as to what it's like to have a picky eater.

I was a short-order cook because it was much more important to me that my child ate a good meal then to not be a "lazy parent." And as he ages, he adds more and more and more things to his menu.
Oh, and we have nice family meals with no tantrums or begging or going to bed hungry.

I win.

I'm not sure exactly what you "win". Do you want a sticker? That seems to appease my 4 year old, who tries her best to eat pb&j every lunch and pancakes every breakfast. But we establish boundaries, deal with the whining and she eats what is provided or she doesn't. There's always at least one thing I know she likes, but we won't let her take triple portions of that item so her meal turns into all plain butter pasta and no vegetables. I don't like to argue about food either, I just don't cater to a preschooler's wishes. Life doesn't work that way. Your children will not always be provided with a short order cook, unless you plan on helicoptering them forever.

I presented two possibilities on picky eating, neither of you presented the possibility that the issue is with your child, not your parenting. You both immediately put yourselves into the lazy parent category. I didn't to that to you, you did it to yourselves. Do you absolutely, unequivocally deny that a picky eater could be caused by a lazy parent?

Finally, I'm not sure why you are both resorting to calling names. Don't you know it undermines your argument and makes you look defensive? It is like you know you already "lost".

Anonymous wrote:This article from the Post today is really interesting: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2014/11/04/the-stark-difference-between-what-poor-babies-and-rich-babies-eat/

Be careful what you feed your babies when they are young because it may dictate their preferences later in life.

IMO some kids are picky because of texture or other physiological issues, but those are rare. ALmost all issues of picky eaters are cultural. I have two kids and one is somewhat picky. I take responsibility for that. For a while when he was younger we didn't handle it well and indulged him. That said, he does eat plenty of food that is not on the typical "kid friendly" list - because it's been given to him repeatedly since he was tiny- that's why he loves tofu, broccoli and spicy food.

People whose kids will only eat mac and cheese, chicken nuggets and the like have only themselves to blame.

Hmm. I nursed my older DS for 2 years, and made all his food his first year - all sorts of pureed veggies and fruits and even homemade cereals. He started getting picky at 10 months, rejecting foods and refusing to try the soft cooked stuff. Over the years I've tossed so much food out that he rejected that it's embarrassing, and today in 5th grade he still only eats about 5 different entrees, no veggies, and only a few fruits.

With my other DS, I quickly got him to move from pureed food to regular food and he ate off my plate for the first 2.5 years (I cook everything from scratch). Then he started rejecting foods and now also eats only about 5 different "entrees," mostly pb&j, and is 6th percentile for BMI. He has no fat on him, because he eats so little and goes to bed hungry quite often.

They were both in daycare/preschools that served them food that they refused to eat, even when the other kids ate them.

I really hated vegetables as a child, as did DH, and neither of our mothers catered to us. We never were exposed to any "ethnic" food like Chinese or Indian until we got to college. Now we eat anything. Meanwhile one of my siblings, who was forced to sit at the table to eat his veggies, today eats only 1 vegetable (carrots), and a limited range of fruits and other foods.

I think a lot of it is genetic. Some of it's psychological (they are afraid of new foods) and some of it is because of heightened sense of smell and taste and aversions to anything lumpy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents. When I was growing up, what was served was dinner, no substitutions. Eat or go hungry. My philosophy with my children and I had no picky eaters.

See I just went and extended this philosophy to the rest of the adults in my life too. My husband is a vegetarian, but I say "my way or the highway" so I make him eat meat. My sister can't take spicy foods but I serve curry at Thanksgiving because it's my house dammit. And don't get me started on people who don't like sauerkraut. Because in my house it goes with every meal no matter what. I won't tolerate picky adults.

I love you!

Anonymous wrote:Parents. When I was growing up, what was served was dinner, no substitutions. Eat or go hungry. My philosophy with my children and I had no picky eaters.

When I was growing up, my parents let us have cereal for dinner if we wouldn't eat what was served. My brother had cereal for dinner every night for almost 18 years. Now he's a more adventurous eater than I am. My parents chose not to make dinner a battleground.

Anonymous wrote:Parents. When I was growing up, what was served was dinner, no substitutions. Eat or go hungry. My philosophy with my children and I had no picky eaters.

See I just went and extended this philosophy to the rest of the adults in my life too. My husband is a vegetarian, but I say "my way or the highway" so I make him eat meat. My sister can't take spicy foods but I serve curry at Thanksgiving because it's my house dammit. And don't get me started on people who don't like sauerkraut. Because in my house it goes with every meal no matter what. I won't tolerate picky adults.

Anonymous wrote:Parents. When I was growing up, what was served was dinner, no substitutions. Eat or go hungry. My philosophy with my children and I had no picky eaters.

How do you explain the existence of parents who have exactly this same food philosophy, but do have picky eaters?

Anonymous wrote:

lazy parenting.

"I'm not lazy, I just don't want to fight with my kids over how much tv they can watch. I'm not lazy, I just don't want to fight with my kids over saying please and thank you. I'm not lazy, I just don't want to here my kids fight over the ipda, so I bought them both one."

The excuses can go on and on. You may think I suck, but I'm not a lazy parent.

You show those kids who's boss. Nobody's going to talk back to you. You're the adult and you're going to call the shots. You're going to get them to eat what you say and you're going to WIN. Am I right?

Parents. When I was growing up, what was served was dinner, no substitutions. Eat or go hungry. My philosophy with my children and I had no picky eaters.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:60% lazy parenting
40% actual physical or psychological issues with the child.

You suck. I have cooked meals for my children every night since they were born. I've tried kid friendly, not kid friendly, ethnic, all sorts of options. I am not lazy. I just don't want to fight with my children over food. And the "a hungry child will eat if you provide them food" thing doesn't really work with at least one of my children -- she says she isn't hungry and asks to be excused and then wakes up at midnight asking for a snack since she didn't eat dinner and is hungry.

lazy parenting.

"I'm not lazy, I just don't want to fight with my kids over how much tv they can watch. I'm not lazy, I just don't want to fight with my kids over saying please and thank you. I'm not lazy, I just don't want to here my kids fight over the ipda, so I bought them both one."

The excuses can go on and on. You may think I suck, but I'm not a lazy parent.

NP here. You SUCK, and you are an evil ogre.

You are also completely clueless as to what it's like to have a picky eater.

I was a short-order cook because it was much more important to me that my child ate a good meal then to not be a "lazy parent." And as he ages, he adds more and more and more things to his menu.
Oh, and we have nice family meals with no tantrums or begging or going to bed hungry.

I win.

What baffles me is how a non-picky eater can become a picky eater. My son ate all kinds of stuff until he turned 4, and he keeps getting more and more fussy where food is concerned. We haven't done anything differently.

Anonymous wrote:60% lazy parenting
40% actual physical or psychological issues with the child.

Where did you go to medical school?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well as a former picky eater I generally think people stress way too much over it. I'm not picky at all as an adult.

This. I also have identical twins and they were exposed to the same foods at the same times. Each has their own preferences - what they like and what they refuse to eat. I choose not to sweat it.

On the other hand, my husband has an identical twin and to this day they have very similar food preferences (virtually identical). They both hate tomatoes and broccoli, for example. Their sister who was obviously raised in the same household, does not have the same food preferences. On the other hand, they didn't eat a lot of healthy food growing up, or a wide variety.

I think it is a complex issue where genetic and cultural reasons are mingled. I have fraternal twin 2 year olds, who are very different personalities and almost look like they are from different ethnicities, and while neither of them is a picky eater in the narrower sense (their favorite foods include beets and goat cheese and marinated herring, and they are hard to please at McDonald's), one is a lot more cautious about new foods than the other, and will sometimes reject things based on texture (I think). Since they were both exposed to the same foods in the same way (FWIW we started with purees and not BLW), I think this is genetic. I also think, though, that there is a cultural component and that if they had grown up in a house with a less varied cooking style, and offered less flavors early on, my "picky" twin might have grown into a picky eater who only wants typical "kid foods".

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:60% lazy parenting
40% actual physical or psychological issues with the child.

You suck. I have cooked meals for my children every night since they were born. I've tried kid friendly, not kid friendly, ethnic, all sorts of options. I am not lazy. I just don't want to fight with my children over food. And the "a hungry child will eat if you provide them food" thing doesn't really work with at least one of my children -- she says she isn't hungry and asks to be excused and then wakes up at midnight asking for a snack since she didn't eat dinner and is hungry.

lazy parenting.

"I'm not lazy, I just don't want to fight with my kids over how much tv they can watch. I'm not lazy, I just don't want to fight with my kids over saying please and thank you. I'm not lazy, I just don't want to here my kids fight over the ipda, so I bought them both one."

The excuses can go on and on. You may think I suck, but I'm not a lazy parent.

Anonymous wrote:Is it inherent?
Behavioral ?
Family- related?
A product of not being exposed to enough foods early on?

Where does it come from?

My kids aren't the least picky, so I always wonder when I hear about kids who only eat hot dogs or only eat Mac and cheese.

Some if it is inherent and biological, some of it is exposure,


Some people have taste buds that make things in the cabbage family taste very bitter. Others do not have them.
Some people have texture issues that make it hard to eat certain foods.
Some people have more taste buds than others, so strong flavors can be overwhelming.