We lived a few blocks from my mom until she passed away. It was awesome, the kids saw her on a daily basis- we all loved it. My father died before grand kids came along. In laws were 5 hours away but have passed too . There was some friction with them but all in all - my kids miss them a lot. It can be quite a lonely feeling to have no parents/grandparents. In hindsight, DH and I both wish that we had been more accommodating to his parents when they were alive. Got I to it about many minor things that now seem trivial. Definitely regret not being more forgiving of their quirks.

Anonymous wrote:Both my parents and IL's are about 4 hours away in different directions. Too far from my parents who are helpful and have great boundaries. Too close to IL's who still expect us to show up for every great aunts birthday party and nags that her son is never around to help her mow the lawn and can't we just drive up this weekend to move the piano? We used to live 5 hours from my parents and about 10 from IL' which was much better. One yearly trip to IL's and lots of weekend visits from my parents. I think the best distance is whatever keeps you happy. My mom could live next door and would call before coming over, if my MIL lived within an hour my husband and I would need marriage counseling. The sad truth is my husband feels even more strongly than I do about both sets of parents.

It's not the said truth, you are actually lucky you are on the same page with your husband.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that I want to live no closer than 3 hours from my children. No free babysitting, etc. I brought up my kids and never asked for help and they can take care of their kids.

You are going to charge them for babysitting?

I am not going to baby sit at all. Nor am I going to clean their house, etc. I plan to begin my bucket list the day sfter the last one graduates from college. We will sell hpuse and buy a 2 bedroom kid-free condo and off we are to travel and explore the world. We will come back for wedding or life/death situations.

My mom is like you. Hope you have money saved for assisted living.

More than enough to see me through to 103. Leave e,ouhj money to help grandkids in college. No money to kids. We gave them a 1st class education so they have
The means to have a good life.

Both my parents and IL's are about 4 hours away in different directions. Too far from my parents who are helpful and have great boundaries. Too close to IL's who still expect us to show up for every great aunts birthday party and nags that her son is never around to help her mow the lawn and can't we just drive up this weekend to move the piano? We used to live 5 hours from my parents and about 10 from IL' which was much better. One yearly trip to IL's and lots of weekend visits from my parents. I think the best distance is whatever keeps you happy. My mom could live next door and would call before coming over, if my MIL lived within an hour my husband and I would need marriage counseling. The sad truth is my husband feels even more strongly than I do about both sets of parents.

Anonymous wrote:I told my mom not to be closer than an hour. She picked a place just over an hour away.

Why do yo get to dictate where your mother lives. Frankly, she should have moved as far away from you as possible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know that I want to live no closer than 3 hours from my children. No free babysitting, etc. I brought up my kids and never asked for help and they can take care of their kids.

You are going to charge them for babysitting?

I am not going to baby sit at all. Nor am I going to clean their house, etc. I plan to begin my bucket list the day sfter the last one graduates from college. We will sell hpuse and buy a 2 bedroom kid-free condo and off we are to travel and explore the world. We will come back for wedding or life/death situations.

My mom is like you. Hope you have money saved for assisted living.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents live 1/2 mile from me, and it's wonderful. They're now in their seventies and eighties. When my kids were little, my parents helped me raise them. Now that my kids are grown, they're incredibly close to their grandparents.

My three siblings and I all live within 45 minutes of our parents, and we get together regularly (at least once a month).

I would love to stay geographically close to my own four kids, but I think it's unlikely; at least one of them is sure to move away.

This was my upbringing and now that of my DD.

This is true for me as well. My mom lives in the same area and helps out a lot. I am sure I will do the same with my DD after she grows up and if she needs me.

My MIL lives about an hour away and has never babysat DD. When she visits, she sees herself as a guest and never offers to help out like washing up after meal. She has no daughters so it's hard to say if she would have been more helpful to them.