Anonymous
11/02/2014 12:57
Subject: God I hate the ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes so he's paying for half. Shouldn't she also be paying for half? 20k x 2 is 40k. 40k x 18 years is $240,000 and meets the average above.
Actually it's quite a bit less than $240,000. And as I said, that is an average, taking into account kids who grew up in Tennesee and on food stamps and such. The average for a NICE childhood is significantly higher, I'm sure. The Washingtonian once estimated the yearly income required for living a nice life and raising kids right in DC to be 2 million a year. Obviously, that is high, but there are different standards for giving your kid a nice life, and also for living in DC. Maybe people should think of the actual CHILDREN and their quality of life instead of getting revenge on the "mean" ex wife. JFC it's so immature I can't even deal...
A I missing something. The average cost to raise one child is approximately 245k. OPs husband is spending less than that in contribution to raise three kids. That 240k number OP cited ( 20*2)(40*18) is for three kids, not one kid. OPs calculation equals the cost contribution for one child. Therefore, he is not paying nearly enough to meet the national average for three kids.
Anonymous
11/02/2014 12:56
Subject: Re:God I hate the ex wife
Anonymous wrote:OP I am so sorry that the women on here are attacking you. TX is a lot less then DC. 1500 a month is enough. I dated a guy before I got married. His ex sounds like the one you are dealing with. Many women have a hard time believing that a biological mother can do a shitty job of taking care of kids and sliding on her part of the finances. I understand your frustration. I would defiantly document all of it! The not tell you about the lice, the money owed. You could take her to court. Could you take her back for custody? Would the kids rather live with you guys? You sound like a great step mom. I think the kids will probably see the difference between her parenting and yours and know all that you are doing for them. Make sure the money that you are setting aside for college can only be used by them. For the extras like soccer and prom and whatever. I would give the kid the money and say that the money is for half of what they want and that they are to ask her for the other half. "Sue here is $60 for half of soccer, please ask your mom for the other half." This way the kid realizes that its their mom that is actually saying no because she won't pay %50. Good Luck.
Thanks for the laugh. You are honestly suggesting she take her to court over a bottle of lice shampoo? I work in family and let me just say you are the kind of idiotic client we just love. Costing themselves hundreds or more likely thousands of dollars over an issue that costs less than $150. And earnestly believing that the judge will fully take your side and punish the other. Gotta love people who act like they're toddlers who never got taught how to share, and the court system is a kindly kindergarten teacher. Oh, how funny it is to watch these types learn the truth...
Anonymous
11/02/2014 12:52
Subject: God I hate the ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes so he's paying for half. Shouldn't she also be paying for half? 20k x 2 is 40k. 40k x 18 years is $240,000 and meets the average above.
Actually it's quite a bit less than $240,000. And as I said, that is an average, taking into account kids who grew up in Tennesee and on food stamps and such. The average for a NICE childhood is significantly higher, I'm sure. The Washingtonian once estimated the yearly income required for living a nice life and raising kids right in DC to be 2 million a year. Obviously, that is high, but there are different standards for giving your kid a nice life, and also for living in DC. Maybe people should think of the actual CHILDREN and their quality of life instead of getting revenge on the "mean" ex wife. JFC it's so immature I can't even deal...
Ok but to clarify, that stat includes housing. In this situation that is the contribution without housing. Also that's just the calculation based on the court ordered support. They both maintain 4 br homes and pay lots for activities and enrichment stuff, vacations and whatnot. The kids are not on food stamps, in actuality they want for nothing. I am being very honest when I say that, and they would agree. One of the silver linings of divorce and remarriage is that they get everything from everyone- I do the nice vacations, dad gets the cell phones etc, grandparents send gift cards for clothes etc. There is so much giving going on that they send out a list every year to me, DH, mom, all three sets of grandparents (includes my parents) two sets of uncles (my bro and DH's bro) on what they want for birthdays and Christmas and we all deconflict the list and they pretty much get everything. Please don't think the kids want or need for anything. In actuality we worry that we are spoiling them. They have iPhones, iPads, Xbox, wii, our family is the poster child for American consumption. Anyway thanks to all for the insights esp the helpful advice, in particular, to start to debit out what is owed from the airfare.
I agree, it sounds like your stepkids don't want for anything.
In fact they do seem rather coddled and are quite fortunate to have both your parents and brother contributing to their indulgences in addition to the two sets of grandparents and an uncle. What is the problem here, since you all seem to think that the kids should want for nothing?
How exactly were you raised, may I ask? having an iPad is certainly not "wanting for nothing." Maybe by 3rd world standards but I thought this was a DC area thread and that the respondents would have a similarly comfortable upbringing to what I had (and yes, I said COMFORTABLE not daddy-warbucks-loaded. Having an iPad nowadays makes you middle class and above, it certainly is not some indicator of living like Marie Antoinette). And though my parents gave me what was comparable to my peers in terms of "stuff", I certainly was not coddled and in fact had a lot of different stressors in my life, which I suspect is the case for most kids. But I was fortunate in that I wasn't running around worried if my parents would pay for soccer for me, which seems to be what you're suggesting.
Would you prefer the parents cut out the perks and fed the kids nothing but pea soup to toughen them up?
Anonymous
11/02/2014 12:51
Subject: Re:God I hate the ex wife
OP I am so sorry that the women on here are attacking you. TX is a lot less then DC. 1500 a month is enough. I dated a guy before I got married. His ex sounds like the one you are dealing with. Many women have a hard time believing that a biological mother can do a shitty job of taking care of kids and sliding on her part of the finances. I understand your frustration. I would defiantly document all of it! The not tell you about the lice, the money owed. You could take her to court. Could you take her back for custody? Would the kids rather live with you guys? You sound like a great step mom. I think the kids will probably see the difference between her parenting and yours and know all that you are doing for them. Make sure the money that you are setting aside for college can only be used by them. For the extras like soccer and prom and whatever. I would give the kid the money and say that the money is for half of what they want and that they are to ask her for the other half. "Sue here is $60 for half of soccer, please ask your mom for the other half." This way the kid realizes that its their mom that is actually saying no because she won't pay %50. Good Luck.
Anonymous
11/02/2014 12:46
Subject: God I hate the ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes so he's paying for half. Shouldn't she also be paying for half? 20k x 2 is 40k. 40k x 18 years is $240,000 and meets the average above.
Actually it's quite a bit less than $240,000. And as I said, that is an average, taking into account kids who grew up in Tennesee and on food stamps and such. The average for a NICE childhood is significantly higher, I'm sure. The Washingtonian once estimated the yearly income required for living a nice life and raising kids right in DC to be 2 million a year. Obviously, that is high, but there are different standards for giving your kid a nice life, and also for living in DC. Maybe people should think of the actual CHILDREN and their quality of life instead of getting revenge on the "mean" ex wife. JFC it's so immature I can't even deal...
Ok but to clarify, that stat includes housing. In this situation that is the contribution without housing. Also that's just the calculation based on the court ordered support. They both maintain 4 br homes and pay lots for activities and enrichment stuff, vacations and whatnot. The kids are not on food stamps, in actuality they want for nothing. I am being very honest when I say that, and they would agree. One of the silver linings of divorce and remarriage is that they get everything from everyone- I do the nice vacations, dad gets the cell phones etc, grandparents send gift cards for clothes etc. There is so much giving going on that they send out a list every year to me, DH, mom, all three sets of grandparents (includes my parents) two sets of uncles (my bro and DH's bro) on what they want for birthdays and Christmas and we all deconflict the list and they pretty much get everything. Please don't think the kids want or need for anything. In actuality we worry that we are spoiling them. They have iPhones, iPads, Xbox, wii, our family is the poster child for American consumption. Anyway thanks to all for the insights esp the helpful advice, in particular, to start to debit out what is owed from the airfare.
I agree, it sounds like your stepkids don't want for anything.
In fact they do seem rather coddled and are quite fortunate to have both your parents and brother contributing to their indulgences in addition to the two sets of grandparents and an uncle. What is the problem here, since you all seem to think that the kids should want for nothing?
Anonymous
11/02/2014 12:45
Subject: Re:God I hate the ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Yup, OP is clearly a person who just wants to her what she wants. She also is the kind of person that enjoys "winning" battles with the ex. Poor kids. Every woman who posts about seeking a divorce should read this thread. This is what your kids wind up with.
It makes me so mad. And the self righteousness and sanctimoniousness, the complaining about a fucking BOTTLE OF LICE SHAMPOO. Like, how do these people exist? How are they allowed to have children? Can we make some kind of emotional maturity test and send these losers back to 8th grade or something, until they can learn to play nice with others and compromise?
My one consolation is that these people usually have the same thing happen to them. Reminds me of this article: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2815631/Peter-Cook-s-estranged-second-wife-apologizes-Christie-Brinkley-vilifying-amid-claims-cheated-too.html.
Anonymous
11/02/2014 12:36
Subject: Re:God I hate the ex wife
Yup, OP is clearly a person who just wants to her what she wants. She also is the kind of person that enjoys "winning" battles with the ex. Poor kids. Every woman who posts about seeking a divorce should read this thread. This is what your kids wind up with.
Anonymous
11/02/2014 12:32
Subject: God I hate the ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes so he's paying for half. Shouldn't she also be paying for half? 20k x 2 is 40k. 40k x 18 years is $240,000 and meets the average above.
Actually it's quite a bit less than $240,000. And as I said, that is an average, taking into account kids who grew up in Tennesee and on food stamps and such. The average for a NICE childhood is significantly higher, I'm sure. The Washingtonian once estimated the yearly income required for living a nice life and raising kids right in DC to be 2 million a year. Obviously, that is high, but there are different standards for giving your kid a nice life, and also for living in DC. Maybe people should think of the actual CHILDREN and their quality of life instead of getting revenge on the "mean" ex wife. JFC it's so immature I can't even deal...
Ok but to clarify, that stat includes housing. In this situation that is the contribution without housing. Also that's just the calculation based on the court ordered support. They both maintain 4 br homes and pay lots for activities and enrichment stuff, vacations and whatnot. The kids are not on food stamps, in actuality they want for nothing. I am being very honest when I say that, and they would agree. One of the silver linings of divorce and remarriage is that they get everything from everyone- I do the nice vacations, dad gets the cell phones etc, grandparents send gift cards for clothes etc. There is so much giving going on that they send out a list every year to me, DH, mom, all three sets of grandparents (includes my parents) two sets of uncles (my bro and DH's bro) on what they want for birthdays and Christmas and we all deconflict the list and they pretty much get everything. Please don't think the kids want or need for anything. In actuality we worry that we are spoiling them. They have iPhones, iPads, Xbox, wii, our family is the poster child for American consumption. Anyway thanks to all for the insights esp the helpful advice, in particular, to start to debit out what is owed from the airfare.
Of course you're just going to ignore the advice that you're in the wrong, and take the advice that suits you.
About what I would expect in maturity from everything else youve said.
You know, that has to be one of the smallest perks I've heard of. These kids have to deal with the emotional wreckage of divorce, and a teensy benefit they get is that they have iPads and such (like most normal children in the US). You have admitted you are doing well, so why would you even think of causing an issue for the ex wife, who is now functioning as a single mom? I implore you (and I'm sure you will like this option much less than the sycophantic ones) to put yourself in her shoes and think of how you would respond if your husband decides one day to leave you, and you will have to raise your child with him on your own? Do you really, genuinely think that $500 a month would be enough? Especially for a teenager, who is going to innately be status conscious and have a lot going on?
Then again, I doubt I will get an honest answer from you since you have complained about and seem to be going through an existential crisis over the cost of lice shampoo.
Goddamn, I hate cheap, petty people.
Anonymous
11/02/2014 12:22
Subject: God I hate the ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Yes so he's paying for half. Shouldn't she also be paying for half? 20k x 2 is 40k. 40k x 18 years is $240,000 and meets the average above.
Actually it's quite a bit less than $240,000. And as I said, that is an average, taking into account kids who grew up in Tennesee and on food stamps and such. The average for a NICE childhood is significantly higher, I'm sure. The Washingtonian once estimated the yearly income required for living a nice life and raising kids right in DC to be 2 million a year. Obviously, that is high, but there are different standards for giving your kid a nice life, and also for living in DC. Maybe people should think of the actual CHILDREN and their quality of life instead of getting revenge on the "mean" ex wife. JFC it's so immature I can't even deal...
Ok but to clarify, that stat includes housing. In this situation that is the contribution without housing. Also that's just the calculation based on the court ordered support. They both maintain 4 br homes and pay lots for activities and enrichment stuff, vacations and whatnot. The kids are not on food stamps, in actuality they want for nothing. I am being very honest when I say that, and they would agree. One of the silver linings of divorce and remarriage is that they get everything from everyone- I do the nice vacations, dad gets the cell phones etc, grandparents send gift cards for clothes etc. There is so much giving going on that they send out a list every year to me, DH, mom, all three sets of grandparents (includes my parents) two sets of uncles (my bro and DH's bro) on what they want for birthdays and Christmas and we all deconflict the list and they pretty much get everything. Please don't think the kids want or need for anything. In actuality we worry that we are spoiling them. They have iPhones, iPads, Xbox, wii, our family is the poster child for American consumption. Anyway thanks to all for the insights esp the helpful advice, in particular, to start to debit out what is owed from the airfare.
Anonymous
11/02/2014 12:05
Subject: God I hate the ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Take a step back. Kids are old enough to understand that things cost money. Tell them there is no money for soccer or prom dresses or any other activities. Just pay the child support and nothing else
Are you kidding? The kids are going to miss out on soccer (which, if they're good a it, could actually get them money and scholarships for school- like thousands and thousands of dollars) or go to prom, because OP and her hubby are trying to be petty and screw over the ex wife?
Yeah, I'm sure the kids will take it very well. Like you said, kids are old enough to understand- and I guarantee you if either of my parents had pulled that shit, especially the non-custodial one, growing up, I would have permanently cut them out when I turned 18. Thats how you end up with needless rebelliousness and kids doing drugs just to fuck over a parent they hate. I saw so much of that in high school and college.
Anonymous
11/02/2014 12:00
Subject: God I hate the ex wife
Take a step back. Kids are old enough to understand that things cost money. Tell them there is no money for soccer or prom dresses or any other activities. Just pay the child support and nothing else
Anonymous
11/02/2014 11:57
Subject: God I hate the ex wife
Anonymous wrote:$875 per kid still isn't much.
I think these people live in LaLa make-believe land where children just feed and clothe themselves. I'm sure the ex-wife is just squirreling away all this money for herself and the kids cost her nothing, maybe they even make her money by holding lucrative lemonade stands.
Anonymous
11/02/2014 11:55
Subject: God I hate the ex wife
Anonymous wrote:Yes so he's paying for half. Shouldn't she also be paying for half? 20k x 2 is 40k. 40k x 18 years is $240,000 and meets the average above.
Actually it's quite a bit less than $240,000. And as I said, that is an average, taking into account kids who grew up in Tennesee and on food stamps and such. The average for a NICE childhood is significantly higher, I'm sure. The Washingtonian once estimated the yearly income required for living a nice life and raising kids right in DC to be 2 million a year. Obviously, that is high, but there are different standards for giving your kid a nice life, and also for living in DC. Maybe people should think of the actual CHILDREN and their quality of life instead of getting revenge on the "mean" ex wife. JFC it's so immature I can't even deal...
Anonymous
11/02/2014 11:52
Subject: God I hate the ex wife
Dear OP,
Next time choose a better Ex-wife.
Next time choose a better Ex-wife.
Anonymous
11/02/2014 11:47
Subject: God I hate the ex wife
$875 per kid still isn't much.