Anonymous wrote:You guys are hilarious. I am a full-time working mom mid 40s parent to three kids. I contribute half of the income to our family. I'm actually taking a day off today. Why would I be reading dcum? No idea. I'm curious, but I'd like to know your socioeconomic status. Do you work? Is your husband making most of the money?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Trolls who want others to feel bad. Do you know anyone other than anonymous posters who love sex with their husbands, work full time and talk about it?

Who do you hang out with?? I would not have married my DH if I did not enjoy having sex with him. I feel sad for you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's really important to accept the reality that sex, like many other things in life, becomes very different when you're a parent. I mean, I used to love going to yoga 3x/week, but that aint happening any more either! And even if I do make it to a class, it's now a much different experience from the leisurely, carefree 1.5 hrs pre-baby. Sex is the same - putting aside all questions of "low drive vs high drive" (which I also think can become a corrosive discourse) - after you have a baby, you just don't have the ability to loll around all day every sunday and get 2 of your 5 weekly fucks in, no matter how high your sex drive.

Like everything else you might mourn from your pre-baby life, carefree sex is one of them.

I think it's important to accept this because the diminishment of sex often becomes a blaming thing (usually blaming the woman) for "losing her sex drive" after having kids. But that's kind of as ridiculous as saying that I've "lost my yoga drive" post-kids. No. It's just different now, and external factors are keeping me from going to yoga 3x/week.

So I think the key is to prioritize sex, and make the sex you do have high-quality, but to accept the new role sex has in your life as parents. If you get fixated on comparing yourselves to others, you're never going to be happy.

You're right about not having the leisure time, but I think the yoga comparison is a little worrisome. And the comparison ties into the notion that sex is something you do if you have a bunch of spare time. The danger is thinking of sex as a nice little extra like yoga instead of an intrinsic requirement like shelter. Sex, like home maintenance, is easy to put off in favor of more obvious and immediate concerns; but there is going to be hell to pay if you don't keep up with it.

I never ever understand this excuse and frankly don't have to since my DH are at it 4xs a week (yes, small kids, yes married for over a decade we both work). How long are people having sex for? If we go over, say 10 minuets of penetration, I run the risk of being sore....sure there is foreplay and sometimes that can get cut short, but having sex does not take that much time. I spend more time blow drying my hair on a daily basis and manage to squeeze that in. Sometimes it's in the shower, in the closet, sometimes we plop the kids in front of the TV and lock the door, sometimes it's a quick BJ, sometimes it is right after we put the kids to bed, sometimes it is before we get out of bed on a Wednesday morning.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So is it impossible to maintain formerly active sx life once kids are here??

A lot of people have chimed in 3, 4, 5xs a week. What exactly do you consider active?

I'm talking about people who were 3-5x a week pre kids and are now once a month etc

You used the word impossible. Clearly it's not impossible. Just impossible for you to focus on the people who are having sex.

Anonymous wrote:You guys are hilarious. I am a full-time working mom mid 40s parent to three kids. I contribute half of the income to our family. I'm actually taking a day off today. Why would I be reading dcum? No idea. I'm curious, but I'd like to know your socioeconomic status. Do you work? Is your husband making most of the money?

Anonymous wrote:You guys are hilarious. I am a full-time working mom mid 40s parent to three kids. I contribute half of the income to our family. I'm actually taking a day off today. Why would I be reading dcum? No idea. I'm curious, but I'd like to know your socioeconomic status. Do you work? Is your husband making most of the money?

Anonymous wrote:You guys are hilarious. I am a full-time working mom mid 40s parent to three kids. I contribute half of the income to our family. I'm actually taking a day off today. Why would I be reading dcum? No idea. I'm curious, but I'd like to know your socioeconomic status. Do you work? Is your husband making most of the money?

Anonymous wrote:Trolls who want others to feel bad. Do you know anyone other than anonymous posters who love sex with their husbands, work full time and talk about it?

Anonymous wrote:Trolls who want others to feel bad. Do you know anyone other than anonymous posters who love sex with their husbands, work full time and talk about it?

Anonymous wrote:Trolls who want others to feel bad. Do you know anyone other than anonymous posters who love sex with their husbands, work full time and talk about it?

Anonymous wrote:Talk to most women who aren't protected by anonymity (think-friends at work, siblings, runner girlfriends) and we all just hope to be left alone by our husbands. Mine has never been interested in my pleasure . Grew up puritanical catholic. I should have known better but he is a good provider. However, sex I only want with my lover.

Anonymous wrote:I think these topics on DCUM are started and perpetuated by trolls.