Anonymous
09/05/2014 18:57
Subject: The closing window of sexual opportunity
Anonymous wrote:Dude, just tell her since she makes the restrictions, to create a time once a week of her choosing when all conditions are met, and you'll be ready.
And tell her you love her and desire her and want to have a physical relationship with her.
If that doesn't work, just find a quiet time and ask her what's the matter.
It might be an issue in your relationship or it might be that she doesn't feel sexy anymore.
Regarding the latter, what I've come to realize is that there is a big difference between what society expects women to look like to be sexy, and what a typical DH expects. My DH does not care about me having been showered and made up and totally in shape etc etc…but I (and many women) have been trained by our culture to think we have to be perfect (or at the least, be what we USED to be) in order to be attractive. The pressure is on to perform, and that's tough to get over. Just help her get over that.
The best thing that my DH said to me was in passing. I noticed a hair around my aureola area and I was horrified and he said, "You're a mammal!" LOL just took the wind right out of my potential insecurity attack.
+1
For her to have all those excuses means there is something else going on, and if he hasn't figured it out yet, then that's a huge problem.
We have sex as often as we can (with little kids who find ways to prevent it) because I enjoy sex. My DH is good to me and I am good to him. If he was horrible in bed, I'd come up with excuses like OP's wife. If OP is insulting or mean to his wife, of course she's not going to be in the mood for sex. He really needs to talk to the wife and find out what the real issue(s) are.
Anonymous
09/04/2014 22:06
Subject: The closing window of sexual opportunity
Anonymous wrote:What do women need to do, if anything?
It takes a lot of effort to find new, time-consuming, expensive activities for the kids.
And the house chores: you underestimate how hard it is to keep inventing new ones that can either exhaust the woman (if it's in fact something she wanted to do anyway) or be blamed on the man since he rarely does X-Y-Z, or when he does, it's a half hearted job that requires her to step in and complete the work to NASA standards.
Doing all that, how could any woman have any time or energy left for sex?
And how could any man dare to question this balance?