If my 12-year old is fresh or mouthing off, I give her a "cool down" time of about 10-15 minutes. (Similar to time-out when they were younger of 1 minute for each year of their age). I tell her to go to her room for 10-15 minutes, and when she's ready to behave, she can rejoin the family. that usually works. Sometimes she stays in there longer. It works for my 9-year old, too.

you did not take her nexus away for enough time. I would not punish a child with food. Maybe bring a sandwich or at least a cheese stick to the bedroom. My step monster would send us to bed with out food and one of the siblings would always sneak a sandwich to which ever was punished. On another note, she is 12 and hormonal. How do you talk to her? They learn from us!!

My kid would care less about going to bed without supper. I would have slapped her.

Anonymous wrote:OP, that's not a natural consequence of mouthing off. Next time she asks you for a ride, I'd say no and explain why not.

That doesn't sound natural. That sounds like a trap.

Nasty attitude => you are not welcome among the civilized members of this family until you act like one. That sounds like a natural consequence to me.

Anonymous wrote:No have never done it. Don't believe food should be part of a punishment

So, bring her a cheese sandwich later. We "banish" our kid frequently when his attitude was troublesome -- happened a lot at the start of tween years. Happens once every few months now at 14. (Never banished him to his room for longer than an hour without reengaging and speaking with him).

Anonymous wrote:OP, that's not a natural consequence of mouthing off. Next time she asks you for a ride, I'd say no and explain why not.

OP's consequence seems more natural in this situation than yours does to me.

OP's DD was disrespectful and mouthy when asked to assist with dinner. To me the natural consequence of being a snot to someone while they're doing something for you is that they will not finish doing whatever it is and/or you will not get the benefit of whatever was in progress. The natural consequence of not helping with a family task when asked is not getting to partake in the final result of whatever you refused to help with.

In this situation I likely would have sent the disrespectful child to their room during the family dinner and left out the ingredients for them to fix themselves a sandwich or other simple meal later after the rest of the family had finished.

That seems more logically connected to disrespect and refusal to help out with meal prep when asked than withholding a ride someplace does.

OP, that's not a natural consequence of mouthing off. Next time she asks you for a ride, I'd say no and explain why not.

I won't weigh in on what you did. but your post itself is just oozing with ambivalent feelings. I think you are looking for an audience to tell you did the right thing. Your asking if others have done this at the very end seems almost like an after thought.

Anonymous wrote:I hate the word "supper". Like nails on a chalkboard.

Ha! I had the same thought

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is supper? A Midwestern dinner?

Supper

1 a : the evening meal especially when dinner is taken at midday b : a social affair featuring a supper; especially : an evening social especially for raising funds
2: the food served as a supper <eat your supper>
3: a light meal served late in the evening

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/supper

Don't use this word. It's dated and weird.

We're from the south and use "supper" all the time. It really is OK to have different dialects in our area. Don't be a snob. Embrace diversity.

Word choice here us not diversity.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't have sent my kid to bed without supper because it has all kinds of ramifications for problems in the immediate future- hunger leading to lack of sleep, leading to more behavior, etc. Exception, I would let him go to bed hungry if he refused to eat what I served for dinner.

However, I don't think it's a big deal that you did this and don't see why people are judging. A lot of kids are sassy and it's not usually a reflection on the parents. I'm a good parent and my kid just seems to go there, and always has- he isn't very mature in this regard and lets his emotions get the better of him.

Back to your question-- I have gotten upset enough with my son's behavior that I served him a bowl of cold cereal and an apple because he was acting so disrespectful that I just did not feel like cooking for him. Could be an option.

I personally would have considered this a reward, not a punishment. I LOVED cereal as a preteen/teen!Still do, actually.

I know. I try to make it sound worse than it is for effect. I also like cereal more than half of my home cooked meals.

I honestly would have shown some compassion and love towards if this was my DD. It sounds like she had a very rough first day/week of school and was trying to work out her feelings. I would have stopped what I was doing and sat down next to her and asked her more about her day.

If this Truly is a pattern of behavior, I would not pick the fist week of school to battle it out.